Divorce In Adulthood: Keys To Knowing How To Deal With It
The maturity stage has been and continues to be studied by psychology, and although there is no rule that defines exactly what maturity is in its entirety, psychology has used, as an interdisciplinary science, a wide variety of constructs in order to bring together and give a definition. only psychological but integrative of what this stage of life involves.
The dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy defines the maturity as that stage in which vital fullness has been reached and has not yet reached old age Theorists have come to the conclusion that maturity fluctuates between 45 and 65 years of age and for many it is the stage in which responsibilities (family or work) gradually end: those who formed a family in their youth, for example, see how their children form new families and move away from home.
In short, maturity is a transition stage that all human beings are destined to experience. A phase in which people, in general, have achieved a large part of their professional, family, social, academic, etc. goals. Of course, that does not mean that it is free of crises and potentially problematic phenomena.
Among the many crises and problems that usually arise at this stage, there is one that has been on the rise in the last 10 to 15 years: The divorce The possibility of experiencing this stage usually increases at this stage of life, a phenomenon with multi-causal origins and on which it is not always easy to intervene from psychology.
Curiously, about two decades ago it was less common to think about a divorce at this stage of life. Although there were cases, it was not the alternative to choose if there were marital problems, since many people considered that this stage is where you can enjoy your life as a couple more and without so many complications. Time to enjoy the company of your spouse with privacy, in short.
Social and even religious issues have taken a backseat and divorce has gained strength to the point of being considered the most viable option when one no longer wants to live with one’s partner.
What can be the causes of divorce?
A divorce cannot be explained by a single cause, but there are certain aspects that influence more than others. For example, several mental health experts affirm that one of the causes of divorce in middle age or at the end of this age is due to what they have called empty nest syndrome, which consists of feeling of loneliness and abandonment that some parents may experience or guardians when the children stop living in the same home and/or form a family.
Experts point out that most couples focus more on raising children and less on the relationship, and when the children complete their cycle within the family and the parents are left alone, they discover their spouses in their entirety, with all its pleasant and unpleasant aspects that were not so noticeable before. If, in addition, within the relationship there have been marital problems that have not been resolved (infidelities, conflicts in the distribution of tasks, etc.), the syndrome becomes the quickest way to end the marriage or marital relationship.
Accept divorce with integrity
A divorce at this stage of maturity tends to be very painful, since the idea of reaching old age alone terrifies many people. Not having company, not having physical or emotional support, can be devastating for them.
In this sense, for example, the magazine British Medical Journalpublished a study in middle-aged people, where it was stated that Loneliness caused by widowhood, separation or divorce increases the risk of suffering from cognitive impairment later in people’s lives. This can be interpreted as an effect of the social and emotional impoverishment that some of these people may experience.
Love may end, but a much more difficult task arises after all this stage. And it is breaking the emotional ties that have united us with that person for years, a difficult task to endure.
Can a divorce be avoided?
Each couple has their story and an exact and correct formula cannot be given to this question since each couple is very different. Anyway, the question “can a divorce be avoided?” It is in itself a sign of a problem: consider that under certain conditions one member of the couple may be able to decide for the other person
What it is about is making a good balance of the needs and objectives that the other person may have, and apply self-criticism to see at what points it is oneself who is favoring the appearance of conflicts And, if the other person wants a divorce, respect their decision. Divorce becomes an ordeal when one of the two parties does not want to accept it, and she refuses to step aside from the relationship.
What to do if a divorce occurs at maturity?
Yes, divorce is a very difficult stage, but the attitude we take before it will be essential to not transform this crisis into something greater. The objective must be go through the divorce peacefully and with appropriate self-regulation of emotions
When someone goes through a divorce, there will always be a need for very trustworthy people to be there at those moments, people who serve as emotional support and who, due to their history of experiences and emotional ties towards the person, are very suitable to listen to and attend to the person’s needs. person who goes through this painful stage. Empathy plays an important role.
For it, It is good to let them know that their support is needed (if necessary) so that they can act accordingly when informed: some people may assume that their attempts at outreach and comfort may be poorly received.
However, in some cases staying calm will sometimes be impossible. When the situation becomes unsustainable it is better to seek professional help.
Once the divorce process is over, it is advisable to do sports activities if the person is able to do so, or do some activity that breaks the routine and is pleasant It is also helpful to work to improve self-esteem, which may have been compromised during the divorce.
