How do I know if I have toxic behavior? Why can we have a toxic attitude? Discover some common toxic behaviors and what to do about them.
We often tend to believe that there are people who are toxic, but the reality is that we can all have certain toxic behaviors with ourselves and with others. But, identifying yourself or someone with any of these toxic attitudes It does not imply that you are or are a bad person. So what is toxic behavior and how can we recognize it?
What is toxic behavior?
There are some attitudes that, instead of making you improve or feel good about yourself, can end up being a source of suffering for you and those around you. In fact, they are called toxic behaviors those actions that may have a negative effect on your health and/or the well-being of others.
In many cases, a toxic behavior It usually implies the presence of certain insecurities, a lack of self-esteem or even a personality disorder. For this reason, it is important to detect them and work on these attitudes, not only to improve our relationship with others, but also with ourselves.
How to identify toxic behaviors?
There are a series of attitudes that are toxic because of the effects they have. In this way, some of the most common are the following:
- Manipulation of others: Manipulation is a form of emotional blackmail, this type of toxic behavior involves trying to change the behavior of others to make the other person unwittingly feel, think, or act in a way that benefits you.
- Lie: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Therefore, lies are one of the toxic behaviors that can most affect a bond. Although honesty isn’t always easy, it’s usually the best option for long-term health and happiness.
- Cruelty: Although we can sometimes be cruel to others without intention, when this becomes a habit it can be as harmful to ourselves as it is to others.
- Selfishness: Other toxic behavior It is precisely being selfish and/or egocentric with others. Having this attitude not only serves to scare people away, it ends up leading to superficial relationships with other people.
- Arrogance: Believing that you are superior or that you are more important to others is a trait that is also considered a toxic behavior
- Being too competitive: One of the toxic behaviors The most common is to acquire a competitive attitude with others. Especially when these attitudes are taken too far and you end up in a spiral of excess perfectionism.
- Jealousy: Jealousy can also become a toxic behavior when it becomes an excuse to mistreat or accuse the person you love.
- Blaming others for your problems: Sometimes we all can have this reaction unconsciously, why we can’t take responsibility for our actions. But, if when things don’t go your way, you tend to blame others, this is a toxic behavior
- Bear a grudge: When someone hurts you, it is normal that you tend to feel upset with this person. What you may not know is that holding a grudge is also a toxic attitude towards you and others. Although it may not seem like it, resentment will do more harm to you than to the person who caused it.
- Make judgments about others: Judging others by the way they live their lives or their attitudes is also toxic behavior. When we judge, we actually tend to project our own experiences and beliefs onto others, which in reality making these judgments is more a reflection of us than of the person in question.
- Victimism: If you tend to always identify yourself as a victim, know that you may have a toxic attitude because of that. The reason is that this victim mentality makes you not take responsibility for what happens on many occasions.
- Seek validation from others: Although we all care what people think of us, we should not depend on these validations to make you feel happy. In fact, constantly seeking approval and validation from others can be a toxic behavior In these cases it is important to emphasize that no one else can give you the self-assurance and confidence that you so desire.
- Always be inside the drama: When drama is always a part of your life, this can also be a sign of toxic behavior.
- Compare yourself to others: This is one of the toxic behaviors more common. The constant need to compare yourself to other people may reflect a desire to always want to be more than the people around you. This attitude, in fact, is a sign that there is a problem with self-esteem.
- Negative self-talk: The way you talk to yourself reflects how you feel. If you always use negative language towards yourself, you will end up reflecting these types of thoughts in your attitudes towards others. Therefore, it may also be a toxic behavior if this negative dialogue is frequent in your mind.
- please people: Being too accommodating to others is also a toxic behavior The reason is that by putting the wants and needs of others above your own for no good reason, you are leaving your personal self-care behind. This type of attitude will end up making people take advantage of you and you will feel bad when you do not receive thanks or approval from others.
- Take things personally: The tendency to think that negative things are directed at us is also a toxic behavior That is, by taking responsibility for things that have little to do with you, what you are doing is attacking your own self-esteem.
- Concern about the future or the past: Just as the past cannot be undone, the future cannot be predicted either. In this way, concern for both the past and the future can imply a toxic attitude both for ourselves and for others.
- Passive-aggressive attitude: Not all toxic behaviors They involve actions, sometimes not acting can also be negative for you or others. Passive-aggressive attitude can involve not speaking to others when you disagree with someone or something. In these cases, you are harming others and yourself by not saying what you feel or your opinions.
As we see, there are many toxic behaviors in which any of us can see ourselves reflected. Sometimes these types of attitudes are part of a problem that is affecting us. If this is your case, it is important that you go to a professional psychologist before they wreak havoc on your mental health and your relationships with others.