A narcissist hardly forgives infidelity, since it hurts his ego and need for control. Although they may pretend to forgive, they often use it to manipulate or blame the other in the long term. Infidelity is a difficult situation to face in any relationship, but when it comes to a person with narcissistic traits, the reactions can be intense and complex.
In this PsychologyFor article, we will talk about whether a narcissist forgives an infidelity. Discover what factors may lead him to appear “forgiveness” and why a narcissistic psychopath might decide to stay in the relationship, despite the pain or perceived betrayal. Understanding the reasons behind their behavior will allow you to analyze to what extent “forgiveness” in these cases is authentic or a strategy to protect their self-esteem or maintain control in the relationship.
For a narcissistic person, forgive infidelity It is an almost impossible taskmainly because they have an ego that a betrayal directly affects their self-esteem. People with narcissistic traits have an idealized image of themselves and a deep need for admiration and loyalty. When they experience infidelity, They perceive this betrayal as a personal attacknot only against the relationship, but also against its value and superiority.
Despite this, in some cases, a narcissistic person can appear to “forgive” infidelitybut it is rarely real forgiveness. Rather, the narcissist may decide to maintain the relationship if he or she believes that the situation offers some type of benefit or control over his or her partner. For example, they may use betrayal to manipulate or constantly remind their partner of the “favor” they are doing by not ending the relationship.
Another reason why a narcissist I could pretend to forgive is the fear of abandonment or lose status that that relationship gives you. For narcissists, relationships can represent achievements or extensions of their self-worth. Ending the relationship would mean accepting a loss of your control, something that may be intolerable for your ego. In these cases, the narcissist does not forgive out of reconciliation or love, but to protect his self-esteem.
How a narcissist reacts if his partner is unfaithful
When a narcissist discovers an infidelity, His reaction is usually intense and dramatic. For a person with narcissistic traits, their partner’s fidelity is more than a sign of love; It is a validation of your own worth and a reinforcement of your need for admiration and loyalty. Infidelity challenges this view and represents a threat. Thus, the most common reactions of a narcissist if his partner is unfaithful are:
Anger and contempt
For the narcissist, being deceived is intolerable, as they feel that this betrayal diminishes their position of power. Anger can manifest itself in aggressive confrontations, humiliating comments or attempts to make the partner feel guilty. At this time, the narcissist may lash out fierce and belittling criticism as his focus is on protecting his ego and punishing the other for the perceived betrayal.
Revenge
Use revenge as a defense mechanism. This revenge can be emotional, since it uses deception as an argument to manipulate or control the partner, or even look for one’s own infidelities to “return” the betrayal. The goal is to make the other person feel the same pain or humiliation and, at the same time, reaffirm your dominance.
The narcissist can use betrayal as a tool to manipulate and humiliate the partner, constantly reminding them of the “favor” of having accepted them back. The priority is to protect their ego and, in some cases, ensure that the partner is left in a position of constant guilt and subordination.
Precisely, in this article we explain how narcissists punish in love.
Why a narcissistic psychopath would “forgive” his partner’s infidelity
For a narcissistic psychopath, “forgiving” an infidelity does not imply a true act of reconciliation, but rather a calculated decision. The main reason why a narcissistic psychopath can appear to forgive you for infidelity is to preserve a situation that benefits you in some way. Their partner’s betrayal offers them the opportunity to reinforce their dominance and leave the other person in a vulnerable position.
Leaving the relationship could be perceived as a “failure” in your ability to control, something your ego cannot tolerate. By appearing sorry, they can keep your image intact and protect yourself from any external judgment. Thus, he will “forgive” you because he can still gain benefits from the relationship, whether in terms of status, financial security, or personal gratification.
Furthermore, another reason why I would “forgive” infidelity is to use it as a power tool to manipulate you. It will continually remind you of the mistake and will use guilt to control you and keep you in a state of submission and emotional debt.
Ultimately, a narcissist’s “forgiveness” is not an act of kindness or reconciliation, but rather a strategy to preserve control and obtain benefits. He will manipulate you to maintain a position of power and reinforce his dominance in the relationship. To identify these behaviors, we recommend you read this article on Psychological manipulation techniques.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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I’m Emily Williams Jones, a psychologist specializing in mental health with a focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. With a Ph.D. in psychology, my career has spanned research, clinical practice and private counseling. I’m dedicated to helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression and trauma by offering a personalized, evidence-based approach that combines the latest research with compassionate care.
