Does The Narcissist Love His Partner?

Does the narcissist love his partner?

A narcissist usually does not genuinely love his or her partner; rather, he uses her to satisfy his own needs and maintain her self-esteem. Their relationships are usually superficial and self-centered. For many, the concept of love involves mutual care, respect, and empathy, elements that may be absent in a relationship with a narcissist.

Many times, we notice that these types of personalities have selfish and manipulative attitudes that prevent the healthy development of the couple. To avoid further conflicts, it is essential to have efficient data to avoid disappointment and know how to act. In this PsychologyFor article, we will provide you with information about whether the narcissist loves his partner.

Does a narcissist love his partner?

The concept of “love” in the context of a relationship with a narcissistic person is complex, and is different from love understood in healthier, more conventional terms. A narcissist can form relationships and feel attraction or attachment to their partners, but these relationships are often marked by certain characteristics that can make genuine and healthy love difficult.

Although the narcissist loves his partner in his own way, it is important to consider that Your ability to love may be limited by your disorder of personality. Love in the context of a relationship with a narcissist can be more transactional and conditional, based on what the partner can provide in terms of validation, admiration, and meeting the narcissist’s needs. Discover in this article if narcissists do not kiss with love.

How the narcissist treats his partner

Relationships with a narcissistic person are often emotionally complex and often problematic due to the characteristic traits of this personality type. Next, we will tell you how the narcissist treats her partner:

  • Idealization: At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist may idealize his partner, showering him with attention, praise, and romantic gestures. This “honeymoon” period is intended to gain the affection and admiration of the couple to build the trust necessary to strengthen the relationship.
  • Devaluation: Once the partner is emotionally committed, the narcissist begins to devalue them, criticizing and belittling their qualities and achievements. This devaluation can be subtle or overt and direct, undermining the other person’s self-esteem.
  • Lack of empathy: Narcissists lack genuine empathy, meaning they don’t understand or care about their partner’s feelings and needs. This can lead to insensitive or hurtful behavior, where the partner’s feelings are ignored or minimized.
  • Handling: A narcissist uses manipulation tactics to maintain control in the relationship. This may include the gaslighting (making the partner question their own perception of reality), silencing, veiled threats and emotional blackmail. If you think this may be your case, in this article we show you How to know if your partner is using emotional blackmail.
  • Lack of responsibility: They blame their partner for their own mistakes. They manipulate the situation in their favor to avoid taking responsibility for the inappropriate actions they commit. For example, a narcissist may belittle a meal his partner cooked for him because she came home late. Even if logical explanations are provided, narcissists will give up any argument to highlight their discomfort.
  • Jealousy and possessiveness: Narcissists can be extremely jealous and possessive, seeing their partner as an extension of themselves and not as an independent individual. This can lead to controlling behaviors, social isolation, and irrational jealousy. In this article you will find more information about Jealousy in a couple: why it occurs and how to eliminate it.

Does the narcissist love his partner? - How the narcissist treats his partner

How a narcissist feels about the person who loves them

The emotions and thoughts of a narcissist regarding the person who loves them are complex and are influenced by the characteristic traits of narcissistic personality disorder. Here are some ways a narcissist may feel about her partner:

  • He needs me to admire him: The partner’s attention and love fuel the narcissist’s self-esteem and sense of grandiosity. This constant need for validation can lead the narcissist to be demanding and demanding in the relationship.
  • He sees her as property: You perceive your partner more as a possession than as an individual with his or her own rights and needs. You feel a kind of pride or sense of ownership over your partner, which translates into controlling and jealous behaviors.
  • Doesn’t understand your needs: Due to a lack of empathy, the narcissist is not able to understand and value his or her partner’s feelings and needs. Although they may act lovingly when it suits him, his actions are motivated more by his own benefit than by a genuine desire to care for and support his partner.
  • belittles her: A narcissist needs to feel superior to his partner, and may put him down to maintain his own self-esteem. He sees the person who loves him as inferior, which for him justifies his critical or contemptuous behavior. In this article you will see How narcissists punish in love.
  • He loves her with certain conditions: Although a narcissist claims to love his partner, this love is usually conditional and based on what the person can provide him, whether it be admiration, status or some type of benefit. When the partner no longer meets those expectations, the narcissist may become critical, distant, or even abusive.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Does the narcissist love his partner? we recommend that you enter our Clinical Psychology category.


  • American Psychiatric Association (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders (5th edition). Arlington: Panamericana Medical Publishing House.
  • Ruiz Medina, MS (2014). Narcissistic love and real love: two faces or two conceptions of love? VI International Congress of Research and Professional Practice in Psychology. XXI Research Conference. Tenth meeting of MERCOSUR Psychology researchers. Faculty of Psychology.

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