Does The Ideal Couple Exist, Or Is It Just A Fantasy?
It is very normal that, when we stop to evaluate what other people mean to us, we draw very radical conclusions, without half measures. When it comes to feelings, we tend not to see gray: everything is either black or white. This may have to do with our need to believe that our lives have meaning because we are linked to exceptional people, but at the end of the day, in most cases, experience shows us that we all have flaws.
Now… what happens when we specifically focus on the world of finding a partner? At the end of the day, although all people have imperfections, we can come to believe in the ideal couple Simply, this would be the one that, regardless of its flaws, fits us perfectly.
But is this a reasonable idea, or is it just fantasy? Ultimately, in the same way that we can believe that perfect people do not exist, we can consider that There are also no relationships free from any failure Do ideal couples really exist?
As we have seen, the main characteristic of an ideal partner is that, in theory, they are 100% compatible with us. Someone who, for example, has weaknesses that are compensated by the strengths of the person with whom they have a romantic bond. Or, on the other hand, someone who is able to adapt to the needs of the other person.
This description of what an ideal couple is should steer us away from that stereotypical idea of husbands or wives who are smiling all day and constantly showing a side of a television character in a series for the whole family. An ideal couple has its bad moments, but these do not completely break the dynamics of the relationship.
This idea is not entirely crazy, but it contains a trap. This trap is that the simple fact of having as a reference the concept of an “ideal partner” can lead us to belittle those people who are actually perfectly valid to occupy an essential position in our lives. Have expectations set on an ideal distracts us from flesh and blood people those that really exist.
The refuge of expectations
With the concept of the ideal couple, something similar happens to what happens in people who, instead of changing their reality, are content imagining a better one.
Fantasizing about being with a perfect person can be pleasant, but it cannot be a substitute for a true emotional life. After all, in and of itself, someone who only exists in our imagination does not have to have characteristics that disappoint us. The fact of imagining someone perfect It implies that we will imagine someone incomplete
On the other hand, someone really does have hundreds of characteristics that are not ideal, but that is because they exist: because their physique is one way and not another according to what suits us, because their personality It does not depend on our interests at all times and because their skills have to do with a whole history of learning and going through life, not with the improvisation of the activity of fantasizing.
The search for the perfect partner is, although it may seem paradoxical, a way of committing to loneliness and perpetuating isolation. As long as a person has in mind the idea that their love life should be focused on the search for someone ideal, they will not only feel separated from other people because of an emotional barrier.
Furthermore, this situation may entail the danger of long-term commitment to that isolation that he doesn’t really enjoy, but that he strives to feed.
Because? Because if someone believes that he is waiting for the ideal partner, he finds in that belief a justification for his loneliness. He dresses her in a costume of nobility, of romanticism, as if going through that long wait would make us better or expose us more to the possibilities of reaching a person who by definition does not exist.
When someone realizes that they have been investing time and money in a search that shows no signs of ending soon, they tend to become obsessed with continuing with it, to make sense of the sacrifices of the past.
This obsession can become even more dangerous if it has to do with the search for the ideal person. The reason for this is that whoever takes the idea of the perfect couple seriously, He will probably have reserved a very important role for that imaginary figure in the life one hopes to have in the future.
A trap in love
In conclusion, the idea of the ideal couple is not only unrealistic. Furthermore, it can be harmful to certain people who are prone to take this concept very seriously. Living in an imagined future does not usually compensate for the frustrations of the present.
