The Myth of the Better Half: No Couple is Ideal

The expectations we form towards our partner and irrational beliefs can cause great anxiety and create many disappointments What if I missed the train and it was my only chance to be happy? Why doesn’t my partner respond to my needs? Why haven’t I found my better half yet?

That is why Knowing how to manage a relationship is also, in part, knowing how to adapt to reasonable expectations so as not to fall into a romantic fundamentalism that drags us and the other person down. Let’s see how to achieve this goal.

Burying the myth of the better half

Firstly, it is worth it stop and reflect on the myth of the better half so that this idea does not condition us This view of loving relationships leads us to consider someone as an extension of our own body, something without which we cannot function well since we are not complete.

The image of the better half not only serves to question our ability to serve ourselves and become an autonomous subject with the capacity to decide, but it reduces the other person to the condition of a machine designed to read our minds and satisfy our needs.

The consequences

Although the metaphor of the better half may seem very romantic and tender, turns out to be a deceptive way to fill a void In one way or another, if we believe that the other is an extension of our own body, it is very likely that we will end up pressuring this person to satisfy our needs in the hope that they will think and act according to those needs.

When we irrationally believe that perfect complementarity exists, we demand that our relationship fit, surprised at how well we have connected and fitted together in the beginning, when it is easier for us to notice only the facets that we value positively. So, The overvaluation of what is new and young can lead to a feeling of loss when routine appears

Thus, on a theoretical level the other would complete us and make us feel happy and full of love, but in reality all we do is place too many expectations on the other which generates conflicts, disappointment, sadness, etc.

To do?

It is worth turning the metaphor of the better half on its head. Why don’t we go from being a dependent and unhappy half orange to acting like an emotionally self-sufficient and free whole orange?

The key is to realize that we don’t need anyone to make us happy, to free us from our irrational beliefs and expectations. If not, why do we love our partner as they are?

Lovers come and go but the myths of love settle. If we are able to abstract ourselves from these cultural impositions on love and romance that we see in movies, we will surely be able to value our romantic partners for what they are: unique and unrepeatable people, with mistakes and virtues who, for whatever reason, have managed to enjoy our trust We must learn to celebrate this.