Emotional Awareness: Managing Emotions During Confinement

The management of emotions is our great workhorse, especially during these days our freedom has been restricted.

The pandemic batters our customs and motivates us to create new routines It is normal for us to feel intense and disparate emotions and, without realizing it, we get carried away by them. Here we will see some keys to learn to manage them.

Managing emotions in the face of confinement at home

Being able to identify and name what we are feeling will help us regain control of our mind. We cannot control external factors, but we can control the relationship with our emotions Allow ourselves to feel them, experience them and let them go without them trapping us or negatively conditioning our relationships. Without harming ourselves, or anything, or anyone.

In these moments when coexistence is closer, managing them properly becomes more important, so we must try to avoid conflicts and not add a greater dose of tension.

Throughout my work as a psychologist and my experience as a meditator (for years), I have synthesized five steps grouped into two phases, which help us improve the management of our emotional world. Are steps aimed at living the direct experience of the emotion from the moment it begins until it fades They allow us to investigate where we need to work more carefully and observe our trends. Identify those that condition us and prevent us from proper management.

In my sessions I accompany patients to walk this path as an internal resource so that they learn to manage their emotions in a healthier way. Full attention to each step allows them to know themselves better, progressively releasing the knots of conflict. Each movement needs a deep look to make explicit what moves at an unconscious level and move towards a more complete and kind life. Let’s see this journey in summary.

1. Awareness

Emotions are an energy, which is deployed for a cause. They emerge, develop, resonate physically in our body, and then fade away They can be deep, gross or subtle, kind or harmful. Sometimes there is a main emotion and other times there are secondary ones; one more emerging and another deeper. Likewise, whatever it may be, they have an impact on us and it is not always controllable.

The first step is to become aware of what we feel. Connect with our heart to free it from the emotions that trap it. Develop that awareness in each movement of the process.

1.1. Realize that something is happening

We must open an internal space to connect with what moves inside: stop and feel If we are very distracted and busy, the emotion may be growing internally and act disproportionately to any stimulus that triggers it.

An involuntary thought can arise in our mind and cause sweating, heart racing or restlessness, leading to uncontrolled anxiety. We can be angry and discover it when they call our attention, because we change the tone of voice, without even being aware.

Recognizing this emerging energy is the first step to not be dominated by the situation without realizing it Consciously inhabiting our body and feeling it will help us recognize that something is arising.

1.2. Identify the problem

Once we recognize that something is manifesting it is necessary to stop, observe and give it a name We can be angry because we are afraid of being sad and we express it with anger. Anger can put its plans into action and manifest itself with aggressive, uncontrolled behavior, hurtful words or other more subtle, but no less painful, behaviors.

If we identify the emotion it will be easier to deal with it: “I am scared, angry and upset by what is happening.” Feelings of frustration or fear may occur, fueling that anger. Uncertainty, lack of freedom, change generate insecurity and fear Expressing it, narrating it, giving it meaning with words, will release a great unnecessary burden and will help us begin the next step.

1.3. Accept what we feel

If we have identified what we feel now we have to accept it, embrace it without turning back: not deny it, nor minimize it, nor repress it… We have to be honest and bold to explore, adjusting to reality, without sweeteners or additives

Pain is inevitable, but there is an extra amount of suffering that we can decide whether to add or not. Accepting the emotion means opening ourselves to it. Feel it in our body. The conscious connection with it facilitates its release. Identifying the heat of rage or the pressure in the chest of anguish allows us to give space to those sensations from the center of our heart outward.

Sometimes we get stuck here because we don’t accept We don’t like our reality and we enter into conflict. We feed obsessive thoughts. We waste our energy and damage our body. We eat compulsively to silence the anguish or we become lethargic with our cell phones rereading absurd memes to distract ourselves from reality. Accepting represents looking with affection, respecting and welcoming what is opening in us to be able to let it go in the next phase.

2. Self-regulation

Emotions are manifestations of our mind. They unfold driven by thoughts or tendencies that we have incorporated throughout our lives. They have a journey, an intensity and then they spontaneously dissolve, if we allow them to. The body has the ability to self-regulate and return to its homeostatic balance naturally. One of the qualities of the mind is its spaciousness.

Taking these two premises into account, emotions have no interest in staying with us. It is we who retain them, blocking and solidifying (with pain, discomfort or illness) their manifestation. We need to continue moving forward to self-regulate

2.1. Release

Once we have accepted the emotion we need to let it go. Do not retain it, nor feed it back, nor hide it. It’s easy to get wrapped up in thoughts and get stuck like flies in honey. We rescue memories, reproaches, we fantasize about misfortunes or thoughts tinged with pain, fear or any other color

We accommodate the emotion in our mind, without giving ourselves other options, and we solidify its sensations in our body, giving rise to aches and pains and, in the long term, illnesses. Learning to let go is learning to live lightly Navigate through our minds and surf with the waves.

Once we let go of emotions, we can see that they leave us behind. Like the aroma that remains when you empty a perfume bottle. If we are willing to continue moving forward, we can take another step. The most difficult and interesting.

2.2. Transform

After thoroughly experiencing our emotions with more or less intensity, we can continue moving forward with other resources to enrich ourselves with the experience.

On the one hand, identify the most recurrent emotions and explore our own “antidotes”: find the path that leads us to well-being and counteract the path that leads us to dive into suffering and anchor ourselves in it.

For the other, observing our mind and how each emotion unfolds we can distill that nectar that underlies each process. For example, we could convert an emotion like pride, which distances us from others, into self-love, improving our self-esteem. Envy, which fosters resentment and bitterness, in shared joy for the successes of others. The uncertainty in recreating resources to learn to live in the present.

Concluding

The interesting thing about this process is that it is not limited to being a download or a more or less intense experience of our emotional world It allows us to explore each step in depth and enter into an intimate connection with ourselves: what moves us inside; identify our wounds; what is repeated over and over again; know the emotions that arise more easily or unmask the trigger to be able to deactivate it.

We tend to be very reactive to external phenomena. If we respond when the conscious process has not finished, it is easy to do so from a place that harms us or others. If we become aware, our mind will progressively soften and emotions will leave less of a mark. Like writing on water. We will be more understanding, creative and thoughtful in our responses

The reality that we are having to live is not easy. We need to maintain a center of serenity to counteract difficulties. Allow ourselves to feel our vulnerability without letting ourselves be carried away by anxiety, fear or frustration.

Learning to know ourselves, to be kind to us, is a first step Requesting the help of a specialized psychologist to accompany us on the path of self-knowledge and management of our emotional kaleidoscope can give us the opportunity to travel a new path in the way we relate to ourselves, with others and with our environment.