Emotional Submission

We have all felt subjected to an emotional relationship that we felt was beyond us… If you are interested, read this article.

What does emotional submission consist of?

Following H. Bleichmar we understand by “submission” a conflict generalizable to every subject as such. By this we mean that each person in their own life will have different episodes within personal relationships in which they will see themselves as subdued or submissive. For some, being in one of these two roles will be constant, for others it may only be experienced once… but the underlying dynamic established in the bond, we believe, is understood by all subjects since it is a way of making one’s own. of the man.

How does emotional submission affect us?

We tend to place ourselves in power relationships with respect to a transcendent other. Our nature is social and therefore needs intersubjectivity to enter the process of individualization. Whenever there is a relationship with an other, there is an alien gaze before which we place ourselves as an object that is looked at, thus being irreducibly marked in our own subjective nature.

“CWith the term submission I refer to a very wide range of phenomena, not only to the most extreme cases in which someone is totally dominated by the other, accepting their desires, but to something much more frequent, everyday: but to something much more more frequent, everyday: the anxiety we experience in front of the other, the inhibition in expressing ourselves, the attentive gaze with fear at the other’s gestures, at what they say, at their tone of voice, at their face. The other is unconsciously scrutinized constantly to see if he is satisfied with us. Submission to the other is what prevents us from letting flow what we are, what we desire, what we think, what we feel.”


There are couple relationships that are trapped by harmful effects of this dependency; One of the spouses can spend years waiting for a change in their situation of submission and pain, clinging to their neurotic mechanism. There may be a fabulation in the subject in which one dreams that the subject-couple will change and compensate for all the damage done, a future in which he will finally give what he believes he deserves, which will be, in the end, as he wants it to be. . And although reality contradicts such fiction time and time again, the relationship continues unchanged year after year. One’s own happiness is relegated in pursuit of a fruitless and suffering relationship.

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What does emotional submission consist of?

“Why does someone become attached to another person and desperately search for their love, observe the slightest movements of their loved one to detect, minute by minute, the “weather report” of the other’s state, is filled with pain if the other Doesn’t he or she seek emotional or physical contact with the same assiduity that he or she does?”

We invite you to read Bleichamar’s entire text to understand the etiology of such early imprinting patterns of action; both the subject and the subject respond to a series of conditions that occurred in their childhood and that incorporated no choice.

We all have something of each of these characters in our own person. This text can serve to glimpse such unconscious roles. In the light of understanding, the compulsive triggering ceases.