Emotionally Immature People: 5 Traits They Have In Common
It is clear that not all people grow and develop at the same rate. However, while physical development basically depends on genes and diet and in most cases it progresses without us having to worry about it, Something different happens with psychological and emotional development
Our skills and abilities when it comes to managing emotions and relating to others do not depend on automatic biological processes, but on the way in which we learn to interact with the environment (and with the people who are in it).
This means that people who do not worry about keeping their emotional and social skills at a minimum remain stagnant before reaching the age of majority, or shortly after. In these cases we can talk about emotionally immature adults
Emotionally immature people are deeply immature, not outwardly.
Playing video games, being a fan of animated movies or enjoying the spontaneity of certain situations does not tell us anything about a person’s level of maturity; It only expresses personal tastes. But other patterns of behavior do tell us about the degree to which an adult’s way of experiencing emotions has remained stuck in a youthful or almost adolescent stage
In short, an emotionally immature person is characterized by not regulating their emotions according to long-term goals that include the well-being of others.
Besides, This is a characteristic that affects all facets of your life ; We cannot speak of emotionally immature adults, for example, in the case of artists who express their feelings unilaterally and explosively specifically through forms of artistic representation.
Now, this definition may seem too abstract, so let’s look at the main characteristics of this type of adults
1. They make no commitments
Emotionally immature adults They systematically avoid commitments This means that they do not do so based on an analysis of the costs and benefits of reaching an agreement with someone, but rather, by default, they do not even consider fulfilling a series of tasks and responsibilities to do good for others.
Establishing commitments would involve establishing a balance between at least two people who, because they feel differently and experience different things, need to create a stability agreement so that the relationship can move forward.
But emotionally immature adults are characterized by the fact that their appreciation of emotions is limited to their own, without taking much into account those of others. Therefore, as a commitment It can only exist when there is a certain symmetry between the importance of one’s own emotions and those of others for these people it doesn’t make sense to do this.
Ultimately, when you only pay attention to how you feel, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that these feelings always change in unexpected ways and that you cannot anticipate what will happen.
2. They are self-centered
One of the characteristics of boys and girls is that, although their behavior is often interpreted as “naturally good” and kind, is based on egocentrism
But it is not a moral egocentrism, but a cognitive one. The idea of imagining the mental world of others is a challenge that is often not achieved and that involves devoting a lot of effort to thinking about what goes on in other people’s heads. This capacity will improve as the parts of the brain become better interconnected through the areas of white matter.
Emotionally immature adults do have a brain developed enough to put themselves in the shoes of others, but Due to inertia, they have not become accustomed to making use of this ability In many cases, they simply have not needed to do so to enjoy an acceptable level of well-being, and consequently maintain an egocentric personality.
Thus, thinking about the interest of others will be the exception, and not the norm, in this class of people.
3. They live in a bond of dependency
An egocentric and individualistic person would be expected to be independent, but paradoxically this characteristic is not met in the case of emotionally immature adults. If they can live outside of commitments it is precisely because they have the a social or family environment that protects them so that they do not have to establish social relationships mediated by empathy
Sometimes, this type of protection offered by fathers, mothers or friends is toxic and unsatisfactory even for these people, because it acts as a very large comfort zone from which it is difficult to leave to experience intense sensations.
However, This social “bubble” persists, despite its failures, because it produces dependency: Once it has gained strength, it is difficult to break this type of relationship dynamic, since doing so would involve making many drastic decisions at the same time and usually one does not know where to start.
These people’s coping strategies are often very poor, meaning they avoid the chance to examine their own mistakes. To do this, nothing like the easy and immediate way out: blaming others for your mistakes
Thanks to these types of actions, emotionally immature adults can allow themselves to continue living without having to look back and dedicate efforts to stop satisfying their immediate desires in order to avoid having more problems in the future.
5. They show financial irresponsibility
Emotionally immature people they live by and for impulsivity That, taken to the domestic economy, means that they manage their expenses very poorly. For example, they may spend a lot of money on dinner out while racking up debt.
In some ways, this behavior resembles people addicted to substances, although the latter’s impulsivity is due to neurochemical changes in their brain that make them think only about consuming the substance in question, while emotionally immature adults are impulsive in their behavior. general.
