Fear Of Being Alone: ​​how To Detect It And How To Combat It

Fear of being alone

Fear of being alone is a surprisingly common psychological phenomenon Even for people who apparently have many friends and are popular, this is a frequent cause for concern.

That is why if you have ever considered the idea of ​​“I am afraid of being alone even if I have people who love me”, you should know that your case is not completely exceptional; Many people feel very similar.

In this case we will see how to lose the fear of being alone and overcome this fear through new habits that we can introduce little by little into our daily lives.

What is the fear of being alone?

In short, the fear of being alone is based on a series of negative thoughts about what your future could be, which is characterized by isolation and the lack of emotional connection with people significant to oneself.

Thus, people who present this type of fear become obsessed with the hypothesis that they are or could become totally helpless and without the ability to count on someone’s company, affection and understanding.

Signs that reveal this form of fear

Some of the warning signs that a person suffers from the fear of being alone are the following.

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1. Need to seek human contact and tempt fate

People who fear the possibility of being alone They tend to try to be at as many social events as possible although in reality they are not interested in what is offered beyond being in contact with other people.

The reason is that they try to meet new people, to see if someone comes along with whom they can connect (either in the area of ​​a couple or in that of friendships).

2. They have a pragmatic view of relationships

Those who do not want to be alone mainly seek to be with people with whom they can spend many moments, either due to a coincidence of interests or due to the fact that they have a similar personality. The idea is to go pragmatic and establish relationships that offer prospects for stability in the future regardless of whether there is a genuine interest in that person beyond what they know how to do and what they like to do.

3. Idea that the family does not count

Many times, people who are afraid of being alone do not value the fact of having family members who love them and are interested in their well-being.

This is normally the case because they consider (erroneously) that these relatives are by their side without having chosen it, simply because the ties of the family have induced them to love them practically unconditionally.

As if everyone were free to do what they wanted except fathers, mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers, uncles and aunts, who are obliged to love those who share their blood.

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4. Search for external validation

From what we have seen, in most cases, those who are afraid of being alone fear being judged negatively by others, which in turn means that they often do not express themselves as they are in front of others. The latter, in turn, makes her feel more isolated and with a greater need to establish meaningful relationships.

What to do to overcome it?

Follow these tips to combat the fear of being alone and not let it determine the way you relate to others.

1. Choose quality and not quantity

Instead of constantly attending events that tell you nothing, start going to those that have something genuine to offer you. Stopping worrying about your number of interactions with relatively unknown people will make your social life much more fluid and spontaneous.

2. Stop judging and judging yourself

There are many stigmas that greatly damage the quality of social relationships and keep us isolated from people who could be important in our lives, if we discovered them.

That’s why, Don’t be afraid to propose plans to those who really interest you, even if those links outside the social circles in which you usually move could earn you criticism. The judgment of someone who doesn’t think it’s okay for you to go with those you’re really interested in shouldn’t be relevant to you.

Furthermore, to make this recommendation take effect you should be the first person to stop judging others for any excuse, since in this way you will mature to the point that the fact that they criticize you for certain things will seem ridiculous to you.

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3. Demystify rejection

Rejection is simply that, the lack of interest in having a certain type of relationship with you It doesn’t mean that the other person hates you, or that they don’t care about you at all, or that there are reasons why their judgment about who you are is accurate or more relevant than that of other people who care a lot about you.

4. Learn to love loneliness

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone, without people around. These moments can be used in many ways, and we even have a greater capacity to choose what to do, since we do not depend on the intentions and preferences of another

So, spend that time reading, meditating, exercising or any of the hundreds of activities whose benefits will extend beyond that time and place and will make you gain experience in something you like to progress.

In short, to overcome the fear of being alone, it is useful to both love loneliness and stop obsessing about not being alone.