Fear Of Failure: 7 Tips To Leave Behind The Fear Of Making Mistakes

Life is full of failures that we continually commit: failing an exam or a subject, not moving to the next phase in a job selection process, having the boy/girl whom you are meeting disappoint you and the relationship not progressing, stopping talking to your brother/sister, going back to smoke when you hadn’t smoked for two years, etc. Being so present in our lives, being afraid of failure is not only counterproductive but can have negative consequences for our mental health. But why are people so afraid of making mistakes?

What is fear of failure?

He Fear of failure It is an irrational and persistent fear of making mistakes in front of others. This phobia of failure usually arises in response to a specific situation. So much so that in some cases when this fear of making mistakes becomes very persistent in life, people can suffer from anxiety and depression.

A person with fear to fail He usually has a too perfectionist profile. This happens because an individual with this personality tends to have expectations that are too high, making it almost impossible to meet them. This unreality in goals ends up taking its toll and the person ends up being afraid of failing in different aspects of his life.

Signs of a person afraid of failure

There are a series of attitudes that are typical of those people who tend to be afraid of making mistakes or to errors. According to psychologists, the following signs are typical of someone who is afraid of failing.

• Not feeling capable

The people that have Fear of failure They often believe that they are not qualified or do not have the necessary skills to achieve their objectives or goals in life.

• Feeling like a failure in life

In many cases the fear of failure It is linked to a lack of self-esteem or certain insecurities. In this way, the person cannot stop being afraid of failing since he does not have enough esteem or confidence in himself.

• To procrastinate

Leaving things for tomorrow is usually an attitude typical of people who have these types of fear. This is because they have to fight the fear of failure to work on your own goals.

• Fear of what others will say

The atychiphobia or fear of failure It is usually closely related to the importance we give to the opinions that others have about us. So much so that people often fear criticism from those around them when they face a new challenge.

These are some of the signs that usually indicate that a person has fear to fail To overcome the fears related to it, it is important to work within yourself. In many cases, consulting a professional will be the most effective solution.

Causes of fear of failure

It is very possible that if you feel these one of these types of fear You wonder why this happens to you. Psychologists have identified the following causes of fear of failure.

• Critical parenting

People who were born in a home where the majority of family members were very critical of them or did not offer unconditional support to its members, usually end up developing the fear of failure This happens because they feel that they will never be able to live up to the demands of their family members.

• Beliefs

When a person feels that any action could lead to failure, it is normal for them to end up developing the fear of being wrong This is usually related to the education the person has received or the influences they have had during their development.

• Trauma

On some occasions the causes of fear of failure They may be related to a bad experience surrounding an error. In this way, the person develops a trauma that translates into feeling a fear of failing at any task.

These are some of the causes of fear of failure Despite this, these types of fear can develop for other reasons.

How does fear of failure affect you?

To the detect the fear of failure, It is very important to try to solve it as soon as possible. The reason for this is that this fear of failure can affect the following areas of our mental health.

• Low self-esteem

By not face the fear of failure, people can develop negative internal dialogue towards themselves. This is because by not fighting the fear of failure they end up postponing most of their objectives or goals in life. For this reason, people can suffer from low self-esteem.

• Lack of motivation

By having fear of making mistakes, People end up experiencing a lack of motivation towards various aspects of their lives. The reason for this is that this fear of failure ends up making it difficult to launch each of your projects.

• Self sabotage

The so-called self-fulfilling prophecy is another of the effects that people who they are afraid of failure So much so that according to various studies, students who fear failure are much more likely to limit their academic success.

Whatever the type of failure, it usually entails a great feeling of discomfort, frustration and helplessness for not having achieved success. We all like to be successful in life, but to achieve success we often have to go through the dreaded failures

Therefore, one of the keys to overcoming failures lies in not throwing in the towel but trying again and again Learning from mistakes committed.

How to overcome the fear of failure?

To stop feel like a failure in life, the key is to face these fears of error. For this reason, psychologists recommend that we follow the following steps.

1. Analyze what happened

In order to learn from mistakes and stop having fear of making mistakes The first thing to do is analyze what has happened in the most objective way possible. I insist on “objective”, since if we analyze the situation but all we do is justify ourselves, we are not being honest with ourselves and therefore, we will hardly be able to learn from the situation for the next time.

In this way, it is about avoiding falling into the same stone twice, so to avoid doing so, we must be self-critical. What went wrong? What aspects depended on you? What were the external factors? For example, it’s no use saying that you failed because the teacher has a thing for you. That will not lead you to pass the next exam, just to feel good and think that your failure was someone else’s fault. Maybe you didn’t study enough or went to the exam very nervous, or maybe you didn’t take the classes seriously and didn’t pay enough attention so you went to the exam without understanding everything. This more mature reflection will help you look for solutions and leave behind the fear of failing

2. Reframe failure in positive or learning terms

It seems like an impossible mission but it is not. Just as Edison could say that his mistakes were part of learning how to achieve success with the creation of the light bulb, we must look for the positive part of learning that failure entails. For example, if your relationship has ended, you can consider the failure as the worst thing that will ever happen to you or tell you something like: now I know what I want and what I don’t want in a relationship, the relationship is over but now I know the mistakes I have made and it will help me for a future relationship.

3. Stop blaming and punishing yourself for what happened

Many times we think that we are the only one responsible for what happened and that is not always the case. For example, if you have stopped talking to your brother, it doesn’t just have to be your fault. In the analysis of the situation that we mentioned above, we must analyze the part of blame for what happened and take responsibility for it, but not everything has to be our own responsibility. Also value what your brother has been able to do and his part of the blame. The next step has to be to stop punishing yourself or reminding yourself of the mistakes you made. Once this is done, you have to focus on the solutions and not dwell so much on what you may have done wrong, there is no point in beating yourself up. Taking responsibility but focusing on what you can control or do about it is one of the best formulas to fight the fear of failure

4. De-dramatize the situation and/or accept what has happened

Sometimes we give a lot of importance to the mistake made when in reality it was not a big deal or the consequences are not so catastrophic. For example, if you didn’t pass the job interview, you may feel sad because that means you will have to continue in the position you already had or without a job. But from there to think that you will never find a job, that you are a failure who is condemned to a painful life, there is a difference. Work on de-dramatizing the situation with a statement like: “At the job interview I got too nervous but now I know what I have to change for the next one. I’m going to continue searching and submitting resumes without stopping because if I have had an interview , they will grant me others and in the end I will get a better job, I just have to persevere and be patient.

5. Look for new solutions, goals or objectives

Once you have assessed the situation, you have done self-criticism, you have learned from mistakes and you have de-dramatized it, the next step is to rethink the situation and look for new goals or objectives. The failures They also serve to change aspects of one’s life. Perhaps having lost a job can help you study something different again and refocus your professional career by changing your direction. Think about what would make you happy to do or what goals you would like to achieve and start making it happen. As the phrase goes: “there is no evil that does not come for good.”

6. Try again by looking for different ways of acting

If you have made a mistake and failed, trying the same way will not give you different results. For overcome a failure Definitely, you have to end up achieving success, sooner or later. If Thomas Edison had made all 999 light bulbs the same way, on the 1000th attempt he would not have succeeded. Most likely he would have ended up throwing in the towel. If you want to achieve change, you have to do things differently.

7. Change your way of thinking

Normally people who feel fear to fail They often have a tendency to fill their mind with negative thoughts. In this way, the key to overcoming fears around mistakes is precisely by trying to change this negative attitude into a positive one. Start by seeing opportunities where you think there are none.

These are some of the keys to know how to face the fear of failure In many cases, the key is precisely to work on our interior either with our introspection or with the help of a professional psychologist. Fear only weakens you, facing it will be the secret to achieving what you want so much.