Friends can make ghosting for various reasons, such as unresolved conflicts, changes in their lives or simply due to lack of interest. We talk about ghosting when one of the people of the relationship shorts contact with the other, and avoids communicating in any way.
This situation generates confusion, it is often difficult to know the real cause of this distancing. In this article, we tell you about friends who do ghosting: causes and how to react healthy.
Why Do Some Friends Make You Ghosting?
Ghosting—cutting off communication without explanation—is usually associated with dating, but it can also happen in friendships. Sometimes, people ghost others because they feel overwhelmed, but in some cases, certain friendships push us into ghosting behaviors.
Some reasons why a friend might cause you to ghost them include:
1. Emotional Drainage
If a friend constantly demands emotional support without reciprocating, it can become exhausting. This imbalance can lead to avoidance as a coping mechanism.
2. Toxic or Manipulative Behavior
Friends who are manipulative, controlling, or guilt-trip you can create a situation where ghosting seems like the only escape.
3. Social Pressure or Group Influence
Sometimes, group dynamics influence ghosting. If a mutual group starts distancing itself from someone, you may feel pressured to do the same, even if it’s not your personal choice.
4. Avoiding Confrontation
Some people dislike difficult conversations and prefer to silently disappear rather than explain why they want to end a friendship.
5. Feeling Overwhelmed or Stressed
If someone is going through personal issues (mental health struggles, work stress, or family problems), they may withdraw from social interactions—including friendships—without explanation.
6. Realizing the Friendship No Longer Aligns
Friendships change, and sometimes people outgrow each other. If interests, values, or life paths no longer match, one might ghost the other instead of formally ending the friendship.
How to React When a Friend Makes You Ghosting Someone
If you feel pressured or inclined to ghost someone because of a friend, here are ways to handle the situation more healthily:
1. Recognize Peer Pressure
Ask yourself: Am I ghosting this person because I truly want to, or because someone else is influencing me? If external pressure is driving your actions, take a step back and reassess.
2. Communicate Honestly
If the friendship isn’t working, consider having a direct but kind conversation instead of ghosting. A simple message like:
“Hey, I feel like we’ve grown apart, and I need some space. Wishing you the best!”
is often more respectful than disappearing without a word.
3. Set Boundaries Instead of Ghosting
If a friend is overwhelming you emotionally, try setting boundaries instead of cutting them off abruptly. For example:
“I really value our friendship, but I need to take care of my mental space too. Can we talk less frequently for a while?”
4. Assess the Friendship’s Health
Ask yourself:
Does this friendship bring me joy, or does it drain me?
Do I feel comfortable being myself around them?
Do I feel guilty or anxious about talking to them?
If the friendship is toxic or one-sided, then it may be okay to step away—but ideally with communication.
5. Consider Their Feelings
If you were in their shoes, how would you feel being ghosted? Even if you no longer want the friendship, offering a small explanation can help them find closure and prevent unnecessary hurt.
How to React If You’ve Been Ghosted by a Friend
Being ghosted can feel painful and confusing. If you find yourself in this situation:
1. Don’t Immediately Assume the Worst
Your friend might be dealing with personal issues rather than intentionally trying to hurt you. Give them space and time before jumping to conclusions.
2. Reach Out Once, But Respect Their Space
A simple message like:
“Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t talked in a while. Just checking in—hope everything’s okay.”
If they don’t respond, it may be best to move forward rather than keep reaching out.
3. Avoid Blaming Yourself
Ghosting is often more about the other person’s issues than anything you did wrong. Try not to dwell on self-blame.
4. Focus on Supportive Friendships
Instead of obsessing over a lost friendship, shift your energy toward friends who value and respect you.
5. Accept That Some Friendships Fade Naturally
Not all friendships last forever. If someone has ghosted you, it might just mean the relationship has run its course—and that’s okay.
FAQs About Friends Who Make You Ghosting
1. Is ghosting ever okay in a friendship?
In extreme cases—such as abuse, manipulation, or safety concerns—ghosting may be a valid way to protect yourself. However, in most situations, clear communication is the healthier approach.
2. How do I stop feeling guilty for ghosting someone?
If ghosting was your only way to exit a toxic friendship, remind yourself that your mental well-being matters. If possible, you can send a brief message to provide closure.
3. What should I do if I regret ghosting a friend?
You can try reaching out and acknowledging your actions with honesty, such as:
“I realize I disappeared, and I’m sorry for that. I was dealing with some things and didn’t handle it well.”
This shows maturity and respect.
4. How do I respond if a friend ghosts me but then returns?
If a friend ghosts you and later wants to reconnect, consider whether the relationship was healthy before. If you decide to give them another chance, set clear expectations to avoid being hurt again.
5. Can ghosting be a sign of emotional immaturity?
Yes, in many cases, ghosting stems from an inability to handle conflict, confrontation, or emotions in a mature way. However, sometimes it’s done out of self-preservation rather than immaturity.
References
- Koessler, RB, Kohut, T., Campbell, L. (2019). “Ghosting in Emerging Adults’ Romantic and Nonromantic Relationships.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 735-750.
- Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D. (2015). “Why Ghosting Hurts So Much”. Psychology Today.
- Lefebvre, Le, Allen, M., Rasner, RD, Garstad, S., Wilms, A., Parrish, C. (2019). “Ghosting in Emerging Adults’ Romantic Relationships: The Digital Dissolution Strategy.” Information, Communication & Society, 22(4), 537-548.
- Tokunaga, RS (2016). “Interpersonal Surveillance Over Social Network Sites: Extending the Theory of Planned Behavior.” Computers in Human Behavior, 62, 168-174.
- Wright, KB, Craig, E., Cunningham, C., Buskirk, A. (2022). “Mental Health and Social Isolation in the Digital Age.” Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 25(1), 21-28.