From Ghosting to Orbiting in Social Networks

We’ve stopped and he can’t stop liking my posts and commenting on them. I don’t understand. What does he want?

If he ghosting It seemed cruel to us and we felt confused, the orbiting in our lives. A new trend on social networks that is much harder to overcome a breakup. Years ago, turning the page after a long-term relationship seemed easier without the constant communication that we now have with social networks, since we did not have to know what that person was doing, who he was with or was with. They already say it, out of sight, out of mind Now, it’s impossible. We know at all times what someone is doing, with whom, where they are, how they feel and even what they are eating. The control over our lives is exposed the moment we share it and those around us – friends, partners, acquaintances – follow us. And, it’s not just that! Maybe you are not a big fan of publishing on digital media, but your friends probably are and, even if you don’t want to, everyone in your world will have the opportunity to gossip about your life at one time or another.

What is orbiting?

Orbiting is born from the need to know how the person with whom you have shared your life, your friends and your environment for a period of time is doing. You don’t want or can’t be with her but you need her to not stop existing in your life, to not disappear. This is when the orbiting occurs, the constant checking to see if he misses us, if he is sad, and to find out how his life is going. It is then when you begin to observe the publications he makes, from there to dropping a like and from a like to ending up commenting, as if nothing happened. A way of being but not being, or even of keeping ourselves alert with the concern of whether he will want to return or not.

Reasons to do it

Committing orbiting can be for very diverse reasons, but according to psychologist Gustavo Farray, these behaviors are usually related to the behaviors of narcissistic or obsessive people.

• He wants to keep you close in case he is interested in coming back.
• Try to be in your head so you don’t forget.
• He wants to influence your social and family environment.
• Seek to influence your behavior.

Solutions?

Very easy! Are you interested in having orbiting done? If that is not the case, lock and close that door What that person can later see about you or comment on to other people you can no longer control, but what directly influences you you have avoided, which is the most important thing. And just as you block it so that person does not enter your profiles and comment, block your access as well. Curiosity is very bad, and knowing that now he will no longer be there watching you can make you nervous because of the detachment from your ex-partner.

Try not to destabilize yourself emotionally, that person will end up getting bored when they see that they no longer have control over you and your feelings will begin to change and you will find yourself much stronger psychologically. Also, remember that orbiting is not limited to exes, it can also occur with friends or family with whom there has been a rift. Set the limits you need even if it is a difficult decision to be able to fight for your well-being.

Are you orbiting?

You are seeing that the other person remains distant, they are not responding to you nor do you see feedback from them. Do you think you are contributing something positive or are you just trying to annoy? Seek help, talk to the people around you, ask if what is happening to you is normal. Emotional dependence has a solution and you can fight to cope with it. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, how do you think they are feeling? Surely, you are hurting him. And you yourself, you should know, you have spent enough time with that person to know that he does not like this kind of actions and even less like you, with the affection that you have had for each other. Give it a solution!

It is time to think and reason about how they are hurting us or we are doing it. Don’t do what you wouldn’t want done to you, you can really frustrate someone.