Guide For Parents: Psychological Preparation To Receive The First Child
The idea that “you’ll know what to do once you hold your child” is one of the most common myths surrounding motherhood and fatherhood. For years we have been told that the maternal or paternal instinct will magically appear and resolve all doubts, as if bringing a child into the world were something super simple and natural.
And of course, there is a lot that is natural in the process, but the reality is that becoming a father or mother entails big changes, both in your personal life and in your relationship. And it cannot be denied that, in addition to joy and connection, this step also brings uncertainties and challenges that are not always mentioned.
In this article we will talk about some of those challenges and tell you how you can prepare to face them.
What do you need to know as a new mother or father?
To receive your baby in the best possible way, the key is not to wait for “your instinct to tell you”, but to prepare properly. After all, a new life will depend on you in every way, and knowing the tools necessary to face this challenge is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and your child.
Especially when you are a new mother or father, the arrival of a baby will mean one of the greatest transformations you will experience in your life. Because, No, not just about learning how to change diapers and sleepless nights, but about understanding how this change will affect all aspects of your life.
Being a mother or father implies a big change in routine, in your relationship and, in general, in life as you know it. It is ideal that this stage begins with an adaptation process in which you know that you are going to face intense emotions: from love and tenderness to frustration and fatigue. Absolutely all of these feelings are part of the journey, and being prepared for them will help you handle them better.
In addition, being a father or mother also implies a kind of “loss” of some freedoms and routines that you previously had. It is a stage in which, inevitably, you will make personal sacrifices, and that is something that is often omitted in the romantic imagination about motherhood and fatherhood. On the other hand, it is also true that the bond that is generated with the baby will most likely be one of the most special experiences you will live.
Another very important point during this preparation is that you review the model of paternity or maternity that you have in mind. This is necessary because, whether we have realized it or not, we all carry with us a pre-established model based on our own upbringing or what we have seen in our environment. Reflecting on this model and questioning it is key, since not everything we were taught or experienced is what we want to replicate with our own children.
On the other hand, you may notice that certain expectations are unrealistic, or you may discover that you prefer to do things differently, so it is important that you have some flexibility and the willingness to adapt these models to your reality and that of your little one. or small.
Finally, Communication as a couple is one of the most fundamental elements in this process. It is undeniable that the arrival of a baby changes family dynamics, so honest communication is the basis for facing these changes.
In this sense, both members of the couple must feel supported and safe to express their concerns, fears and desires. In addition, they must reinforce their ability to work as a team for the well-being of all three.
What will you learn in therapy before having your child?
Therapy, especially couples therapy with a professional specializing in parenting patterns, can provide you with a safe space to prepare emotionally for the arrival of your first child.
But, the question is, how can therapy help you? Well, we can tell you that it is not just about talking about your doubts or fears, but about receiving practical tools that allow you to better adapt to this stage.
Here are some of the key topics you can address in therapy:
An important aspect is the management of emotions. Something that any mother or father could assure you is that the arrival of a baby brings with it a mix of feelings, some totally unexpected. In therapy you can learn to better recognize and manage these emotions, which is essential to establishing a healthy bond with your baby.
Another relevant point is the development of behavioral guidelines. In therapy, you will have access to practical strategies to respond to everyday parenting situations. from topics such as food and sleep, to the way you communicate with your little one or little one.
For example, knowing how to react to crying, how to establish routines or how to foster a good relationship with food are important details that can be built from the beginning and that do not necessarily all come with instinct.
As you know, for your baby to be well you must also take care of yourself, which is why strengthening self-esteem is another benefit that you can receive if you decide to take psychological preparation. Thanks to therapy, you will be able to develop a more positive view of your abilities as a parent, which is essential to reduce stress and doubts about your worth.
Besides, couples therapy can be a tool to strengthen the foundations of the relationship. Although this issue is sometimes overlooked, it is essential because, as expected, the arrival of a baby will transform your dynamic as a couple. Faced with all these changes, a professional can provide you with tools to resolve conflicts and so that you can constructively confront disagreements that may arise.
Finally, emotional support is one of the greatest benefits of therapy before the arrival of a child. In the sessions, you will find a safe space to express your concerns, fears, expectations and doubts, without feeling that you are being judged or pressured.
As you see, parenting is full of challenges, but also learning and beautiful moments. Preparing psychologically to receive a child is an investment in the well-being of the family, which will help them face this new stage with greater security.
