How Can I Learn To Accept My Flaws? 6 Tricks To Achieve It
Do you feel like you have too many flaws? Are any of them harming you? Discover how to accept them through these psychological tips.
Let’s start from the basis that we have the bad habit and the bad belief of wanting and believing that we can be perfect. We try to iron out any rough edges related to ourselves to feel a little more complete. But let’s not be foolish, we will never be able to achieve perfection. It is true that the media and society in general encourage us in that sense.
Since we were little we see that if someone is different they are criticized for it and ridiculed. Standing out, standing out from the average is what makes us stand out, and on many occasions it makes us have a complex. Now, what makes us sometimes sink or become obsessed with those defects and other times not? The answer is self-confidence and self-esteem, that great goal of the human being.
On many occasions that perception about the defects of a person, is marked by a childhood in which they suffered bullying but other times they did not, and they have simply begun to demand too much of themselves. The bad thing about defects is that we tend to focus on them, we give them too much importance and we ignore ourselves.
On many occasions we believe that when we cannot visualize the virtues of a person, this means that we are facing a defect. The reality is that not everything is as white or as black as most of us think: there are nuances.
We consider a person’s defects when they exert some type of obstacle in our life. In this way, we all have a list of defects that we keep in mind many times in our lives. The problem arises when we believe that by putting our virtues and defects on a scale, the last ones win.
Learn to accept both strengths and weaknesses that we have should be one of the first steps we have to learn to enjoy good self-esteem. So much so that on many occasions people suffer from their defects since they believe that they will make others reject them because of them.
Types of defects
There are different types of negative qualities of a person. That is, between defects we can see the following:
Physical
When a person believes that one of his defects are physical In many cases it is a perception. Furthermore, if physical defects are not genetic, they can always be improved through perseverance and dedication.
Intellectual
One of the defects of a person What we give the most importance to is precisely those that are related to the intellect. Even so, these types of personal defects can also be solved through exercises.
Social
When we refer to the defects of a person In this style, many times we are pointing to charisma. This type of defects can lead to negative things in the relationships that are established.
As you can see, all a person’s defects can be improved and even turned into virtues. That is why it is essential to keep in mind a list of qualities and a list of defects to know where to work without losing motivation.
What can I do to accept my flaws?
Many times we only pay attention to our negative qualities. So much so that the flaws can almost overwhelm us. But to learn to accept defects we must not only focus on our list of virtues but we also have to work on them.
1. Recognize defects
The first point is to recognize what your main defects Have you ever stopped to write them down? If you do, you will realize that the list can become very long. Circle the most important ones and focus on them. What is the cause of its appearance? Are they qualities that you want and don’t have? Does society dictate that you have to be a way that you are not? Or did someone ever make you see that this is a defect and you believed it? Sometimes it is easier for us to see a person’s negative aspects before our own. That’s why it may also be a good idea to ask someone you trust for help.
2. See them from another perspective
The second step after answering these questions is to ask yourself: What is true about this being a defect? Is that defect real? Is it really that bad to be like that? And if it is so bad, do you have that defect? Does it nullify my virtues? I’ll give you an example: a person considers himself unintelligent because he does not have a university degree. His brother one day told him that he was the fool of the family and he started to believe it. The question would be: “it is true that it is good to have a career and being unintelligent is a defect. However, I decided not to study a university degree because I wanted to start working soon. The truth is that I was good at studying although I was lazy to study.” do homework and study. Maybe I’m not so unintelligent and even if I were, I’m a responsible, educated person and good for any job I set my mind to. Intelligence is not everything in this life.”
This type of reasoning will not only allow you to better discover your weaknesses and virtues but they will also help you to visualize that perhaps the defects of a person you know are not as bad as at first glance you had thought.
3. Accept that they are defects
Once this is done you have to look in front of one of these personal defects and accept them Every day look in the mirror for a while, focus on your defects and analyze them (this not only works with physical defects, you can do the same exercise with emotional defects). Then accompany that phrase with an “although”, that is, look for the positive part of the defect. Remember, when you accept your flaws, no one can use them to hurt you.
4. Don’t hide them
From there try not to hide Your defects Keeping it a secret will make you experience it as a taboo and something shameful. Showing it, telling others and even making a joke (without taking it to excess) will help you naturalize it, accept it and many people may dare to say their own. Remember that although you see the person in front of you as perfect, he or she perceives flaws in himself or herself.
5. Remedy defects
The next step is to think about the question: Does the flaw does it have a remedy? If so, what are you waiting for? If you are bad at dancing, sign up for dance classes, if you are not very intelligent read books or play games that help you develop your intelligence, if you have a flabby belly do some sit-ups every day. Remember that the goal is not to be perfect but to make your flaws less important. For this it is essential to avoid selective comparison. The point is that you notice your improvement, not that you compare yourself with others. We have the ugly habit of comparing ourselves to those who are much better than us as if that were the only thing that exists. For example: if you are bald and you only look at guys who have thick hair, you will get frustrated. However, if you look at all the boys you will notice that there are more bald ones, that you are not the only one and many of them have their heads held high.
The last step to take into account is to value the positive things you have. Do the same thing you did with defects, make a list of your virtues and try to make that list as extensive as you can. Once you have made the first list of virtues, each day at the end of the day make a list of things that you have done well and that you consider good about yourself. For example: “I helped an elderly woman cross the street although she was in a hurry to get to work, so I can say that I have behaved altruistically, empathetically and with a sense of duty.” Try to value each small action no matter how ridiculous it may seem to you and write a minimum of 10 sentences every day. For example: “Yesterday I went to sleep early and today I woke up more rested, therefore, I can say that I am a responsible person with my sleep and that I take care of myself.” So with all the virtues that you perceive in your daily life.
“Talk to yourself as you would to someone you love deeply.”
Brene Brown
Why should we accept our defects?
You may think that there is no need to work on the defects of a person But the reality is that to enjoy life we must not only accept ourselves as we are but we must also always try to improve and evolve. Furthermore, regarding defects, if work is not done on their acceptance or improvement, they can lead to the following consequences.
Feeling inferior
One of the main costs of not working with defects of a person It is precisely the fact of comparing yourself with others. So much so that this feeling can lead you to relate in an envious way to others.
Low self-esteem
One of the characteristics of a person with low self-esteem is precisely that does not accept his defects On many occasions, these people end up suffering from diseases such as depression and anxiety due to their negative self-perception.
Unsafety
When we do not accept our personal defects nor do we work with them, it is normal that we end up feeling insecure when they take center stage at some point. For this reason, it is vital to try to accept them and improve them if they allow it.
The defects They are part of our imperfect nature. Seeking perfection is one of the most human instincts that exist. Despite this, we must always seek to ensure that our virtues are stronger than our defects. Think that you can always improve.
