How Does Separation From Their Parents Affect Young Children?

They may not say anything, but they feel everything. And what they feel is reflected in their actions… and those actions, generally, come in response to great uncertainty due to not understanding what is happening, fear of a future they do not know, sadness due to the grief of the life they knew and that It is no longer.

From a very young age, children are great observers, so the separation of parents can leave deep emotional marks if this breakup is not managed or communicated in a way that makes it easier for them to go through the situation.

In this article we will talk about How parental separation affects children between the ages of 2 and 5and what strategies they can carry out to take care of their psychological and emotional health.

Parental separation: a complex moment for children

When parents decide to separate, it doesn’t just affect them. For children, it is a change that can be quite confusing and painful. According to UNICEF, children often feel sadness, fear and a lot of uncertainty in this process. However, The important thing is how the parents handle the situation, since that greatly influences how the little ones are going to experience this stage.

Children perceive more than we think; In fact, although they do not always know how to express it, they notice tensions, changes and absences. Although separation is difficult, it does not have to be negative for children’s development if parents focus on providing them with a safe and supportive environment.

How does it influence children from 2 to 5 years old?

During the first years of life, children are in the process of learning to understand their emotions and the world around them, so separation from their parents can generate a lot of insecurity, especially because They don’t really understand what’s happening.

Next, we will show you what this process usually feels like in young children depending on their age:

Children from 2 years to 3 years

At this stage, children do not have the capacity to understand that their parents are no longer going to be together. Therefore, the emotions they feel are more reflected in their behavior. It is common for them to have tantrums, to return to more childish behaviors such as wetting the bed, or to have a harder time sleeping.

At this age, many children believe that if they behave well, their parents will get back together. That’s why, The most important thing is to give them a lot of security and maintain contact with both parents. It is also useful that, even if everything changes, they continue with some routines that provide stability.

Children from 3 to 5 years

When children are between 3 and 5 years old, they begin to understand a little more about what is happening, although not 100%. Therefore, questions such as “Why doesn’t Dad live here anymore?” are often asked. or “Is it my fault they’re fighting?” Due to the egocentrism typical of this age, they may feel responsible for the separation.

It is key here to clarify these misunderstandings and assure them that they have nothing to do with what is happening. They may also begin to experience fears or feel more anxious. To help them, it is important to continue with routines, give them space to talk about what they feel and always show them that they are not guilty.

How to manage a separation if you have small children

We know that separation is not easy for anyone, but there are ways to make it more bearable for children. Here we share with you some practical recommendations to accompany your children in this process.

1. Talk to them in a clear, simple and age-appropriate way.

Explain what is happening honestly, but without going into details that they cannot understand. Use simple words so they understand that even though things are different, they are still loved by both parents.

It is normal for them to repeat questions or seek more detailed explanations. Respond patiently and calmly.

2. Maintain stable routines

Young children feel more secure when there is stability, even when everything else changes. Try to maintain daily routines, such as meal times, bedtime, and play times. The idea is that they have something familiar that gives them calm and security.

3. Avoid arguing in front of them

Children do not need to be involved in arguments or tensions between parents. It is best to keep them away from conflicts so that they do not feel trapped between two sides.

4. Ensure the presence of both parents

When possible and safe, make sure your child continues to have contact with both parents. This is key so that you feel accompanied and loved by both of you, and so that you don’t feel like you are losing one of the two.

5. Help them express what they feel

Young children often don’t know how to put what they feel into words. Encourage them to express themselves, whether by talking, drawing or playing.

If they are feeling sad or angry, tell them that it is okay to feel those emotions, but the important thing is that you are there to support them.

6. Seek professional help if you need it

If you notice that your child is having difficulty adjusting or shows behavioral changes that don’t go away, talking to a child psychologist may be helpful. A professional can help your child process what they are experiencing in a healthy way.

7. Take care of yourself too

Remember that, in order to take care of your children, you also need to take care of yourself. Separation is a difficult time, and Seeking emotional support, whether from a friend, family member, or therapist, can be a good option. By being well, you can be better for them.

Although separation from parents is painful, it does not have to mark a negative before and after in the lives of children. If parents work together to create an environment of love, stability, and understanding, children can go through this process in the best way possible.

What your little ones need most is to know that, even if many things change, their mother and father will always be there to make them feel safe and they will be loved.