As many families will know, Satisfactory coexistence at home is not something that arises spontaneously, but rather it must be practiced consciously by all its members. And that, sometimes, is not an easy task.
By applying rules of coexistence at home, positive coexistence and understandings are guaranteed, as well as respect is encouraged between all family members. Below we explain how to create and apply these rules.
Why is it necessary to apply rules of coexistence at home?
Within family dynamics it is necessary to apply a series of coexistence rules that facilitate coexistence and promote harmony and concord.
This development and application of a series of rules, which include both the rights and duties of those who live under the same roof, is essential regardless of the number of inhabitants of the house; being necessary both for couples without children and for families of any type or number.
In the cases of family units with children will help establish limits on the behavior of the youngest or smallest In this way, situations that may generate a conflict can be predicted and controlled.
However, the objective of applying rules and duties at home is not only for children to comply with a series of obligations. Parents need to understand that For their children to comply with the rules, they must also encourage them; being the first to comply with them and recognize their efforts.
In the long term, the fact of having grown up in a regulated context, which provides them with a series of duties, will develop the children’s sense of responsibility. Something that will help them in their future adult life. However, flexibility is key so that this context does not become an ordeal for the children.
How to create and apply rules at home?
To put the application of coexistence rules into practice, keep the following in mind.
Create coexistence rules
The first step when creating a regulated environment is to establish what rules or guidelines must be followed at home, both on a general and individual level. The reason is logical, No person can be required to follow rules they do not know Likewise, you cannot try to regulate a child’s behavior if you have not pre-established what is acceptable at home and what is not.
In this first step, Parents are responsible for creating a series of rules for the home A good idea if the children already have the capacity to understand is to create the rules together, reaching a consensus, since this way the commitment will be much greater.
Although each family can establish the rules according to their criteria and family values, these rules must meet a series of characteristics that make them much more effective:
Establish consequences
Just as important as creating coexistence rules is establishing or determining what will happen both when they are met and when they are not.
In this way, the effects could be positive in the event that the rules are followed or negative in those cases in which they are not carried out. It is important to know that positive consequences will always have a much more seductive effect and will be more effective than punishments.
The main characteristic that these consequences must have is that they must be immediate. This way, both punishments and rewards should be applied as soon as possible once the behavior has been carried out or not. In this way, the relationship between action and consequence will be stronger and the behavior will be automated quickly.
On the other hand, the second characteristic to take into account is that the severity or repercussion of these consequences must correspond to the importance of the norm. That is, the consequences, both positive and negative, must be proportionate to the actions.
The role of parents in enforcing the rules
Those parents who feel the need to apply rules of coexistence at home should know that their role is not limited to being police officers who ensure compliance with the rules, but also, They must guide and encourage the appropriate behaviors of their children or the rest of the members of the family unit.
Although this may seem logical, it is not true in all cases. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to know that they must also respect the rules, since they are their children’s first point of reference. And if you don’t do it, this It could lead to a lot of conflicts with the rest of the family
Tips to implement coexistence rules
Below are a series of specific tips or advice to make creating and applying rules at home much easier and more bearable for both parents and children.
1. Dialogue
It is necessary that there be a dialogue that allows the rules to be socialized Through these conversations, all members of the home will be able to understand the reason for these and their importance.
Likewise, this dialogue will allow the little ones to express their points of view and will facilitate respect for the rules by everyone.
2. Rules that facilitate coexistence
With the aim that everyone respects the rules of coexistence These must have a clear and simple purpose: improve family coexistence. Consequently, these must be explained in a way consistent with this purpose.
3. Benefits for everyone
Regardless of their content, the established standards should benefit all family members equally That is, these must be egalitarian and offer the same benefits and obligations for everyone.
- You may be interested: “Dealing with “difficult” and disobedient children: 7 practical tips”
4. Lead by example
In many contexts, children learn through imitation, therefore, the example of the parents is essential for them to internalize the behaviors that the parents want see in them.
5. Flexibility
Although one of the objectives of the rules is for them to be carried out, it is counterproductive to obsess over them. Both parents and children must show a certain degree of flexibility in this way coexistence will be much more satisfactory and compliance with the rules will not become a burden.