How To Avoid Losing Your Temper Over Obsessive Thoughts?
It has happened to all of us at some point to have an unpleasant thought that, despite the discomfort it generates, comes to our consciousness again and again automatically, without us having a special interest in thinking about it. Normally, these mental contents are memories about things we did that embarrass us, or things that make us feel guilty, or even events that have not taken place, but that we believe could happen to us and get us into serious trouble. And of course, it also happens with actions that we know we must do sooner or later and that make us suffer from anxiety.
In the most extreme cases and with the greatest capacity to wear us out psychologically, these thoughts invade our consciousness so frequently and remain in it for so long that they become true obsessions: ideas, beliefs and mental images that do not make us think about them for the most part. much that motivate us or excite us, but because of the discomfort they cause us, although it may seem contradictory.
These obsessive thoughts clearly influence the daily life of those who harbor them and can very negatively affect their mental health, not only because they contribute to maintaining anxiety levels that are too high and/or long-lasting; also for its ability to induce us to interpret anything as a confirmation that what worries us or makes us feel bad is a reality that exists in our present. They predispose us to see “signs” that allow us to confirm very pessimistic interpretations about what is happening. So that… How to avoid losing your temper over obsessive thoughts?
Obsessive thoughts are those that They appear in our minds in an intrusive way, without us wanting it, and they generate a high degree of discomfort given the possibility that they are true or that they correspond to who we are and what our defects and limitations are.
These thoughts, ideas, opinions and conceptions about life or our identity are usually distressing and pessimistic in nature, and although at first we know that it is a wrong thought and that it does not adjust to reality, it usually generates a high level of anxiety in the person who harbors them, as we fall down that spiral of pessimistic hypotheses that confirm themselves, we lose the rational vision of what is happening and not only do we feel that these obsessions are a reflection of reality, we also believe it.
Some people experience these obsessive thoughts almost permanently; even when they don’t keep their attention focused on thinking about it, dThese mental contents remain in a latent state and have a great capacity to be “activated” for any stimulus that we minimally associate with that theme. These usually give rise to a vicious circle known as psychological rumination and which, as it gets bigger, is more complicated to deal with.
Obsessive thoughts are usually based on ideas related to our own health or that of our loved ones, losing our current social or socioeconomic status, or pessimistic predictions and premonitions about the standards of living that await us in the not-so-distant future.
Some of these obsessive thoughts may be: “I’m going to fail the entrance exam”, “I’m useless and nothing turns out well for me”, “What if I hurt my family or my children?”, “My partner is doing well for me”. to leave” or “everyone hates me.”
All these obsessive thoughts of a negative nature They generate deep discomfort and directly interfere with the person’s daily life: in their normal functioning both in the personal and social, family or work spheres and also in their mental health in the medium and long term, and even facilitate the appearance of disorders such as addictions.
That is why it is so important to overcome these types of obsessive thoughts with the help of a psychology professional.
What is a ruminative thought?
When an obsessive thought is repeated several times in a person’s mind, it produces a dynamic known as psychological rumination; The person begins to constantly think about the same negative idea, which ends up generating greater discomfort, anxiety and suffering.
The thoughts that are involved in rumination appear in an intrusive and disruptive way in the mind of the affected person, they also generate great worry and discomfort, and the most important thing is that they are repeated recurrently without us being able to do anything to stop them immediately. nor get them out of our heads at that moment as most people would want in a situation like this.
Psychological rumination owes its name precisely to the fact that repeat itself over and over again in consciousness, to the point where the affected person begins to anticipate these negative thoughts and attract them to their consciousness without realizing it. That is, involuntarily, we actively participate in rumination that brings obsessive thoughts to our mind. The person unconsciously contributes to the fact that these contents continue to invade their mind in the form of a vicious circle: they are given more importance than they have simply because we cannot stop thinking about them and that frustration makes us “get defensive” and to be alert.
Simply trying to block obsessive thoughts will make them return to us with more force, since we are increasingly unconsciously predisposed to the thought in question flooding us when faced with any stimulus or memory indirectly related to what worries us.
Tips to avoid losing your nerve over obsessive thoughts
Luckily, there are some strategies we can follow to prevent these thoughts from controlling us and generating unnecessary anxiety and suffering.
1. Do not try to block or avoid them
One of the first pieces of advice is, as we have seen, not to try to block or avoid them, since this We will only make them appear with greater intensity and frequency.
To prevent obsessive thoughts from making us fall into a spiral of anxiety, stress and discomfort, we must begin to conceive the idea that these thoughts are ours, we must accept that they are there because we have created them and that we must fight against them and become obsessed to That they disappear will be useless.
Once we accept its nature, we must begin to apply strategies that allow us to direct and channel our attention towards ideas and experiences that generate interest, make us feel good about ourselves, and allow us to focus on aspects of life that are more edifying and meaningful to us. .
Moving all our attention and thinking towards more positive ideas, projects and conceptions about the world around us, We will achieve genuine motivation for what interests us and makes us happy ; In short, in things in which we can progress and get excited. And from the fact that these activities excite us and tell us about who we are and what we want, we will develop a way of interpreting life that is richer in nuances and less prone to falling into the pessimistic self-confirmation bias that is associated with obsessive thoughts.
Once we have internalized and mechanized this new, more constructive way of thinking, the obsessive thoughts we harbored will progressively weaken; To put it some way, they will lack space to expand by capitalizing on our fears and insecurities.
3. Training in relaxation techniques
Relaxation techniques can also be of great support, not so much to overcome obsessive thoughts that cause us discomfort on a daily basis, but to mitigate symptoms linked to anxiety.
There are many techniques that we can put into practice to achieve more relaxed and balanced states of consciousness: progressive muscle relaxation, controlled breathing, body scanning, etc.
5. Go to the psychologist
Going to a psychology professional will always be the best option if you want to overcome obsessive thoughts and regain the tranquility and mental stability that you had before they appeared. In this way, you will have personalized support adapted to your characteristics and needs. If you are interested in starting a psychotherapy process now, contact me.
