In many articles of Psychology and Mind We have emphasized the importance of making life an exciting place to navigate based on objectives and goals that keep us awake and active.
It’s not that we are fans of positive psychology, but we are very clear that one of the keys to happiness is, precisely, having the ability to continue improving day after day.
Improve as a person: it is possible… and necessary
Let’s not fool ourselves: living is trying to improve yourself day after day In fact, it is often said that happiness is nothing more than the prelude to it, that is, we are happy when we are close to achieving certain objectives and goals that we have set for ourselves. Happiness is not, in itself, a goal that we should set for ourselves, because -happiness- is rather a state of mind that accompanies us when we feel motivated doing things we like, spending time with people who make us feel good, And a long etcetera.
The problem is that many of us have burdens and responsibilities that anchor us to a gray everyday life that does not motivate us enough to want to improve as people. Furthermore, we live greatly influenced by everything that has been instilled in us, and on many occasions we act unconsciously to the detriment of other people, and we deceive ourselves into believing that, for some reason, we are acting correctly.
Forced to be happy?
In a very interesting article, the Valencian psychologist Álvaro Saval spoke about a kind of social imperative that has taken shape in the last decade: the obligation to be (or appear to be) happy people. Of course, society draws a notion of happiness very closely related to material success. This material success (having a good job, a good car, expensive trips…) can do us a disservice when trying to have a life that allows us to improve as human beings and address our most genuine interests.
Happiness should not be an obligation but a natural consequence of living in line with what we want to do and be , discover our true passions and dedicate ourselves body and soul to them. To be better people, and therefore more connected to our environment, it is necessary to practice and train.
5 keys to improve as a person (and be happier)
I propose five keys to developing the necessary skills to improve as a person , little by little and without pause. Do you dare to try it?
There are a series of values that have an instant effect on the people around us. Perhaps the two most important are generosity and gratitude. When we are generous, kind and grateful to someone we pass on the street or a close family member, We create a good harmony that not only affects how others value us, but also how we perceive ourselves It makes us feel good to be kind to other people because, after all, we are empathetic beings.
In addition, gratitude shows us the way to overcome certain traumas, anxiety and stress, helps us eliminate negative thoughts from our minds and strengthens our self-concept.
A good way to develop gratitude and kindness is to do altruistic acts, that is, doing good without expecting to receive anything in return. This may be shocking in a cultural system based on commercial and self-interested transactions, but there is much research in psychology that indicates that being supportive is linked to well-being, health and a longer life expectancy. It is not about becoming Maria Teresa of Calcutta overnight, but if we begin to give importance to altruistic acts it is very likely that we will feel more fulfilled and have greater emotional balance.
To channel this advice we can choose to do some volunteering… or simply to be kind and selfless in our daily lives, with the people we live with or pass on the street.
2. He who has a friend has a treasure
He who has a friend, does not know what he has In a society where we pay less and less attention to each other, having one or more trusted people with whom we can share unique moments is a great value for our happiness and for becoming better people. Of course, I am not referring to the “friends” that we may have on social networks like Facebook or similar, but to real friends, the kind that can be counted on the fingers of one hand and have fingers to spare.
Real friends emerge in the most unimaginable situations and contexts. We need to be aware of the importance of taking care of friendships to generate that dynamism that common plans with a colleague give us, or those endless conversations where we talk about anything.
One of the main causes of depression is loneliness. Living away from human treatment immerses us in a gray and monotonous reality, and therefore distances us from happiness and motivation. If you think you don’t need anyone to be happy, you’re probably trying to deceive yourself, because that’s not what science (and common sense) tells us. Maintaining friendships also requires effort and altruism on many occasions, but it is worth it.
Yes, a cliché. But it is still true. People who are not optimistic are not better or worse than anyone else, but they unconsciously create a boring, static reality that is not given to joy. Because? There is nothing that encourages demotivation more than not having a positive vision about the possibilities that, as a person, we have in life.
be pessimistic It is not only a way of self-boycotting oneself, but a freeway to mediocrity That is why we must say no to pessimism and recharge our batteries with a good dose of optimism, even if at first we are not 100% convinced. If positive psychology has a certain recognition, it is precisely because it has thoroughly studied the magnificent effects of being an optimistic and enthusiastic person.
Optimism must be a philosophy of life to be able to move forward and spread good vibes to those around us. We must be able to dedicate our energies to everything over which we have control, and if we see that something is out of our control, we can always turn to people to help us and give us a hand. If we face a complicated or even fatal event, such as the death of a family member, it is normal for us to collapse but we must always think that better times will come where that bad moment will only be a memory of a life contingency.
4. Relativize the importance of material goods
In another text published on this website, we echoed a study that indicates that money does not buy happiness. It may seem obvious, but there are people who continue to believe that if they accumulate more money and wealth, such as cars or houses, they will be happier. Well, everything indicates that they are wrong. Science has shown that, beyond a threshold in which we live comfortably, earning more money no longer has any relationship with the degree of happiness.
Entrusting our well-being and happiness to material things is a way of achieving the opposite effect, permanent unhappiness, since We will continue wanting to accumulate more and more and we will never be satisfied with what we have And this is because, at the end of the day, the good moments in life are not those you share with a convertible car or a latest model smartphone, but with other people who make you feel special.
When we ask ourselves the question of what really motivates us in this life, almost all of us tend to respond by giving very little importance to material aspects. We are not motivated by being rich or having the best watch or technological gadget. We are motivated by feeling good about ourselves, traveling, surrounding ourselves with sincere people who make us feel unique
So why do we insist on pursuing material things? Human ambition has this flaw, which prioritizes tangible rewards over the intangible things of everyday life. But we must constantly remind ourselves of what we want to achieve in life and what we really value. Only then will we be taking a step forward and being better people than we used to be.
5. Spend time doing the things you like to do
We have already been giving touches throughout the post about the importance of dedicating time and effort to those activities and people that really make us feel good It’s quite difficult to be happy if we don’t dedicate time to the things that motivate us, right?
Obviously, not all of us are lucky enough to work on something we are passionate about or to enjoy enough free hours to compensate for this need, which undoubtedly makes us better people. To do this, it is important to organize well and build bridges towards self-efficacy. That is, we must set small goals with which to improve little by little, and thus remain motivated and hooked on that hobby that we like so much.
Of course, sometimes it is difficult to become very good at what you practice. For example, I am a chess fan and I play a few games every day, but I know that it would be very unrealistic to think that in 5 or 10 years I will be as good as Gari Kasparov. The small goals that we set (such as, in my case, it could be playing a minimum of two games a day) They should help us move forward and remain activated, motivated by the process and not the result In the end, playing chess, like any other hobby, is a joy in itself and it doesn’t stop being so because I lose a few games against players better than me. We must put the enjoyment of learning above finalist issues.
In the workplace, most people are somewhat dissatisfied with the tasks they perform or the treatment they receive from their superiors. This is natural and it is not bad for us to complain from time to time, but There are things we can do to make the routine much more enjoyable Starting, for example, by treating coworkers in a friendly and jovial manner, to create a climate of closeness and cooperation.
In summary, to be happy and be better people we must move towards habits that motivate us and keep us activated. If we are happy with what we do, others notice it.
