Having a long-distance relationship for many people is a very difficult challenge to overcome, especially for people who are not used to having this type of relationship. It is common that one of the main problems that arise in long-distance relationships is jealousy, especially when you are just starting a relationship and you do not yet have enough trust in the other person. But what can we do about it? How to control jealousy in a long-distance relationship? There are a series of issues that many people who suffer from jealousy when they are in a relationship do not take into account and that perceiving them and giving them the importance they deserve greatly helps to control the jealousy that can be experienced during the relationship. . This is why at PsychologyFor we are going to provide you with a series of guidelines and advice so that you can know how to survive a long-distance relationship and also be able to feel calm with your partner.
3 issues to take into account to control jealousy
In order for you to begin to control jealousy in a long-distance relationship, you need to ask yourself a series of issues that you were probably overlooking or did not give much importance to, but that you should nevertheless take into account. Some of these issues are the following:
- Has your partner given you real reasons to distrust? Be honest with yourself and do an objective analysis of the situation where you can realize if the jealousy you feel is truly well-founded or if it is a product of your own distrust of other people and/or other causes such as insecurity. , having previously experienced situations where you were betrayed, etc. Identify where that jealousy you are feeling comes from.
- How much do you trust your partner? Remember that the basis of every relationship, not just that of a couple, is trust. When there is no trust in the other person, the relationship becomes quite fragile and is most likely destined to fail. It’s like when you have a best friend who you don’t really trust, could you consider him or her as such? The same thing happens with a relationship, trust is a key ingredient that must exist for a relationship to really exist.
- Do you have good communication with your partner? Another extremely important aspect in a relationship, as well as in any other type of significant relationship, is communication. So you should ask yourself how good the communication you have with your partner is and if it is not very good, you can consider working on improving it.
Tips to control jealousy in a long-distance relationship
Here are a series of important tips so you can know How to put aside doubts and fear in a long-distance relationship.
Promotes trust
As I mentioned before, trust is the basis of any relationship, so it is essential that you focus your attention on increasing it. Some tips that can help you generate more trust in your relationship is to talk to him/her about what is happening to you, tell him/her how you feel and respect him/her at all times. It is evident that if you want there to be trust between both of you, you must set an example, this way it is more likely that he will act the same as you.
Accept uncertainty
Although we ourselves respect our partner who is far away and do everything possible to keep the relationship working, this does not guarantee 100% that the other person will also do the same. This is a reality that we must accept and not only because it is a long-distance relationship, but in any type of relationship, since even if you live in the same city as the couple or in the same house, no one can guarantee what you can. occur. However, think that it is better to accept uncertainty and enjoy every moment with that person than not to accept it and end the relationship or suffer every time you are away from him/her.
Focus on the present
Realize that your suffering is due to what you are imagining could happen in the future, but it does not come from what is really happening. Right now, nothing is happening, so you don’t have to worry about what your partner may or may not do. When you program your mind to be totally in the present, you automatically stop suffering unnecessarily for things that have not happened yet and in fact, who knows if they will happen. A very useful technique to help us focus on the present is meditation or mindfulness.
Stop making hypotheses
Stop making hypotheses and creating fantastic stories in your mind about what your partner may be doing when he or she doesn’t answer you or when you are not in contact. Remember that all those negative hypotheses that you make are based on your own jealousy, which if you do not have a real reason to distrust your partner, they will only torture you more and more and ruin your day.
Keep your mind busy
When our mind is really occupied with other things, it stops worrying so much about what others are or are not doing. It is important that you do not stop doing the things you like or carrying out your daily routine, because otherwise, if you stop doing your things and wait only for the time to come to talk to your partner, it is more likely , especially when you are very jealous, you spend your time suffering for no reason. So you better get busy and stop worrying.
See the positives of maintaining a long-distance relationship
If you find yourself suffering from having a long-distance relationship, it is because you are only seeing the negative side of it. It is important that you stop putting your focus on the negative or rather on the hardest part of having a long-distance relationship and begin to change your perception towards it to a more positive one. But what is positive about having a long-distance relationship? Some of the Points in favor who has a long-distance relationship are the following:
- If there is trust and good communication in the relationship, it is very likely that it will become more solid and durable , since it is a relationship that has passed one of the most difficult tests and that is being physically separated. The more trials you overcome together, the more your relationship grows and strengthens.
- The meetings are made more special and unforgettable Stopping seeing a person for a while and then seeing them again causes them to see each other more willingly and the time they spend together to be more quality.
- You can have more time for yourself For example, it may be that you are currently studying and working and do not have much free time to see your partner very often, but nevertheless being in contact can help you move forward with your personal projects.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to control jealousy in a long-distance relationship we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.