Jealousy or Pathological Jealousy: When Love Becomes an Obsession

Do you feel that your partner is too jealous? Perhaps you find yourself in a situation where pathological jealousy or jealousy is present. Discover all the symptoms and save your relationship.

Being jealous is a natural trait of human nature. But we must all control those impulses, especially if they do not have a rational origin. The problem lies when this insecurity in the couple ends up becoming the norm. When a question of jealousy becomes a problem, we are faced with the jealousy or pathological jealousy

What is pathological jealousy or jealousy?

Cellopathy or celotypia, more commonly known as pathological jealousy, is when these feelings towards your partner end up leading to a pathology. Therefore, as soon as someone presents one of the symptoms that indicate that you are experiencing pathological jealousy, it is very important that you go to a couples psychologist to be able to solve it. Going to a professional will not only be the best way to know how to help a pathologically jealous person but it will also have benefits for the lover or partner.

When we talk about jealousy ‘within normality’ we are referring to those that are made up of the pain that comes to us at the idea of ​​losing our loved one. Sometimes we may experience these feelings, but when they couple jealousy become normal, we should start worrying. One of the best-known psychologists, Freud, analyzed what types of jealousy we can encounter.

“Jealousy is one of those emotional states, like pain, that can be described as normal. If someone appears not to have it, the inference is justified that he has suffered severe repression and consequently plays a more important role in his unconscious mental life. The cases of abnormally intense jealousy found in analytical work are revealed to be constructed in three layers. The three layers or degrees of jealousy can be described as (1) competitive or normal, (2) projected, and (3) delusional jealousy.”

Jealousy in a couple can come from both men and women. As Freud explained, we can find three types of jealousy.

1. Competitive or normal jealousy: These jealousy They could be defined as those feelings of hostility towards rivals who are believed to be preferred by the lover. Furthermore, they are characterized by a self-criticism that attempts to hold the subject responsible for the loss of love. Although they are called normal, the reality is that this jealousy is presented as a manifestation of the inability to love authentically. Having this jealousy is typical of individuals whose relationships are based on the satisfaction of certain narcissistic needs. So much so that losing the love of one’s partner ends up translating for these people as a decrease in their own self-esteem. Some authors suggest that this type of jealousy (which is within a normal range) ends up signifying an expression of infantilized love, based on emotional dependence.
2. Projection jealousy: Jealousy of this style originates from a real infidelity or from the impulses that the individuals themselves experience towards an infidelity that they have repressed. When we talk about projected jealousy we are faced with a jealous delusion Subjects who have this type of jealousy end up obsessively fearing that their partner will be unfaithful to them. In this way, what they are looking for is to alleviate their own feelings of guilt towards the impulses they have felt to commit infidelity.
3. Delirious jealousy: When we talk about this distrust in the couple we are already in pathological jealousy which can lead to a serious situation for the individual and his lover. This psychopathological disorder is basically characterized by the conviction, usually without real foundations, that there really is infidelity on the part of the lover. One of the main manifestations that characterize this pathological jealousy is the constant search for evidence that proves said infidelity, which can even lead to false memories. This delirium of obsessive jealousy can lead to a paranoid character with psychological disorders, especially alcoholic behaviors. A compulsively jealous person ends up suffering a loss of self-esteem that can lead to sexual impotence or problems with a drop in libido.

Obsessive jealousy or jealousy: Symptoms

When standing in front of a distrust in the couple which leads to pathological jealousy, we can find different forms of expression of its symptoms. This partner jealousy called cellopathy or celotypia is a disorder that is characterized by four distinctive features.

• It is a psychological disorder that arises before or as a result of jealousy as a couple.
• The main characteristics of the disorder coexist with jealousy (paranoia, low self-esteem, etc.
• The disorder is closely related to jealousy
• They have no foundation based on reality

When we encounter a case of pathological jealousy The main symptom (as well as the best known) is the recurrent and obsessive worry about sexual infidelity in the couple. Even so, there are other pathologies that are also part of this jealous delusional disorder.

1. Hallucinations: We can commonly find the reference to ‘delirium of jealousy ‘ when this behavior is pointed out in couples. This type of jealousy traits are characterized by a delirium surrounding the partner’s infidelity. In these hallucinations we can find beliefs that can include suspicion that the couple has contracted a sexually transmitted disease from a third party or that they are having sexual relations with another person.
2. Obsessions: Another of the most persistent symptoms is obsessive jealousy In this way, thoughts regarding the other’s infidelities are presented in a very intrusive way and end up leading to compulsive behaviors such as excessive control of the partner. The majority of patients who present this jealous symptom end up recognizing that their fears have no rational basis and they even feel ashamed of them.
3. Overrated ideas: This ‘disease of jealousy’ can also be presented as an acceptable and rational idea of ​​living in a relationship. In this way, the subject ends up accepting all these uncontrolled feelings and assumes them even though it has serious repercussions for himself.
4. Comorbidity: This type of symptom refers to presenting, along with this pathological jealousy, other disorders that can derive from it. In this way there are many cases where the celotype It also ends up showing a personality disorder or substance abuse.

In addition to these symptoms, pathological jealousy can also present:

• Concern about the subject’s intrusive thoughts and suspicions about the partner’s fidelity.
• Open behavior of seeking to confirm suspicious concerns.
• Avoid activities or situations that cause jealousy.
• Personal distress from irritable, agitated, phobic and suicidal ideas.
• Disruption of operations in various spheres.
• Violence, both oral and physical (in this case it is very important to go to a professional or the police as soon as possible)
• Aggression may occur against third parties suspected of being the couple’s lover or a potential rival.

Why does pathological jealousy arise?

Such obsessive jealousy and distrust can arise for various reasons. In addition to being clear about the limits in relationships of this style, we must also try to help the person leave all these recurring thoughts behind. A good way to achieve this, in addition to going to a professional, is by knowing where and why cellopathy traits (symptoms) arise

1. Attachment theory: One of the explanations for know what jealousy is and where they come from comes from this theory. Typically, individuals who have a lot of insecurities can become anxious about their partner’s attachment to them.
2. Cognitive: Researchers Enoch and Trethowan have considered that obsessive and pathological jealousy They derive from the feeling of insufficiency, hypersensitivity and insecurity are the main factors that cause them to arise.
3. Sexual dysfunction: Another reason why a disease such as cellopathy It is in response to reduced sexual function. Furthermore, one of the problems that many patients who have sexual dysfunction show is the shame of talking about it.
4. Associated alcohol and drug consumption: There is much research that indicates that the use of alcohol and drugs is closely related to the pathological jealousy Even so, the consumption of these substances does not cause this obsessive jealousy to appear but rather exacerbates it.

How to treat pathological jealousy or jealousy

The best method to treat a jealous behavior of the couple is through joint therapy with a mental health professional. It is also important that both members of the couple are present since this topic must be addressed with great tact. Doing couples therapy can not only save your relationship, but also the health of both of you.