How to Help a Child with BPD

The main concern of parents is to ensure the well-being of their children, especially when it comes to situations where they lack sufficient control to achieve this. One of those situations is when you suffer from a mental illness, such as borderline personality disorderwhich not only affects the person who suffers from it, but also those closest to them. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental condition characterized by great difficulty regulating emotions, causing prolonged episodes of instability and potentially harmful impulsivity in the person who suffers from it. This brings with it serious consequences such as problems with self-image, unstable interpersonal relationships, self-harm and, worse still, suicidal thoughts and attempts that can culminate in suicide. But, How to help a child with BPD? If you have a child who has been diagnosed with this disorder, you should know that you can help so that they have enough motivation to start and continue their treatment and ensure that they become as stable as possible.

In this PsychologyFor article, we are going to give you a series of tips that will undoubtedly help you know How to help a child with BPD.

tay informed about borderline personality disorder

It is proven that patients who receive adequate support can be more stable than those who do not, even without receiving treatment. Although this does not have to diminish the importance of receiving it, since treatment is essential for the cure of this disorder.

to know how to help a child with BPDit is necessary to learn everything you can about this disorder, why is it so important? Because otherwise you will not be able to understand what your child is feeling right now, since what he is doing is not done of his own free will, it is a disease like diabetes or gastroenteritis for which he lacks control. Therefore, it is necessary to give it the importance it deserves and also be interested in everything related to this condition. Some of the things that are essential for you to know about BPD are knowing what it consists of, what its symptoms, causes, consequences are, and what the treatment for its cure consists of.

Remember the importance of receiving treatment

After having been informed in detail about everything related to this disease, you should know that to cure it, it is necessary for your child to receive a psychological and pharmacological treatment. However, it is common for the person with BPD to resist care and treatment. The important thing is not to give up, even if you notice improvements in your child at some point, if they do not receive the appropriate treatment, they will surely relapse again.

Get involved in BPD treatment

If your child is already receiving the appropriate treatment, it is necessary that always stay aware of their situation and get involved in it.

To do this, you can approach the professionals who are treating it so that you can learn what the treatment of borderline personality disorder consists of, what its approximate duration is, how you can help your child with it, what the dosage of the drugs that they have administered, what they work for, what you can do from home to promote the treatment, accompany them to the sessions, etc.

Don’t feel guilty

On many occasions, feelings of guilt tend to appear in parents because for one reason or another they feel responsible for their child suffering from this disorder. Some of the specific situations for which they usually feel guilty are the following:

• For not having detected this situation before.
• Having reproached, punished and responded in a bad way to your child due to not understanding the reason for his reactions and mood changes.
• They come to take responsibility for their self-harm and relapses.
• For not being able to cure your child.

Among other things related, mainly, to the lack of knowledge they had about this disease and not having been able to detect it previously. Therefore, it is necessary for parents who have a child with BPD to be aware of the following:

• You are not to blame for your child suffering from this disorder.
• You can help in some way to help your child be more stable, but you cannot control it.
• You can help so that your child receives the appropriate treatment, but you cannot cure him.
• Feeling guilty is only going to make the situation worse.

Be patient

Although it is said to be easy, everything possible must be done to don’t lose your cool and be patient with your child. Some tools that you can use to stay calm in all types of situations and act when faced with BPD are the following:

• You can practice the diaphragmatic breathing anytime and anywhere you are. This technique is very simple and is carried out as follows: you inhale slowly and deeply (feeling how your abdomen fills with air), you hold your breath for 5 or 10 seconds and then you exhale slowly, noticing how your abdomen decreases slightly. little by little. You can do it as many times as you consider necessary, it will help you feel calmer. This technique can also be useful for your child, as it will help him regulate his emotions.
• When you find yourself extremely irritated and are tempted to respond rudely to your child, retreat and go somewhere else. Once you have calmed down, continue talking to him/her. You can also suggest this to your child to put into practice when they are trying to regulate their emotions and unwanted behavior.

Don’t take things personally

Remember that one of the characteristics of people with BPD is saying irrational and even cruel things; they can also react intensely to small situations. Remember that this is considered normal in this type of disorder and one of the reasons why they act this way is because they have an intense fear of being abandoned. That is why you should never take things your child tells you personally or get on your own with him/her, as it will make the situation worse.

et limits and rule

Because in this type of disorder people have great difficulty controlling their behavior, it is necessary to help your child with BPD. Set healthy limits and rules at home.

To do this, it must be taken into account that both parents have to agree on what they will be and how they will be carried out. It must also be considered that they must be respected at all times, it is not valid to set them and then not comply with them or for one to say “yes” to one thing and the other “no”.

Active listening and understanding

Always try to ensure that your child feel heard and understoodeven if you don’t agree with what he says. You need to earn their trust and make them feel truly cared for. It must be taken into account that in this type of illness, people usually have suicidal ideas or behaviors (which should never be ignored) and gaining their trust makes there more closeness and your child tends to communicate with you. plus what happens to him.

upport group

Support groups can be a great help for your child with borderline personality disorder. These groups are created so that people with the same condition can relate their experiences and express their feelings to others. It is very beneficial, since they can feel identified and understood by realizing that they are not the only ones to whom the same things happen, that there are other people who are suffering just like them, that they can express themselves without fear of be judged or rejected, that there is a way out and that they have more support than they think.

Unconditional support

Last but not least, mention that it is necessary that your child feel supported at all times and not let him/her feel alone in this situation. Always show him/her that you are there for him/her through physical contact, actions, and words of encouragement and motivation.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to help a child with BPD we recommend that you enter our Clinical Psychology category.