How To Help A Compulsive Liar

The people that have pathological tendency to lie or compulsive liars are known as mythomaniacs. The mythomania It is not considered in the DSM as an isolated disorder or as a disease, but they have symptoms of various pathologies.

What a compulsive liar is like

Compulsive liars have the following characteristics:

• The mythomaniacs They are aware that they are lying and they generally do it without thinking about the consequences that their lies may have.
• They tend to lie about their life, their achievements, their work, their finances, their social relationships… even on issues that they don’t really need to lie about.
• It is not easy to identify them because They create very realistic stories and add many details. They are able to tell the same story in a different way to different people to make it more believable.
• Besides, they end up believing their own lies and they get offended when someone questions them.
• However, lies are lies after all and as time passes your version of the story can change due to forgetting. That’s when we start to get suspicious. Sometimes, he even includes us in his stories and that does make us realize that they are not real.
• Compulsive liars differ from psychotics in that, even if they get carried away by their fantasy stories, they know, deep down, that they are lying.
• They tend to be people who They are not comfortable with themselves with how they are and with their circumstances.

The ultimate goal of a compulsive liar is flee from a reality that you don’t like. Behind the invented stories of a mythomaniac there are 4 main reasons:

• They create stories in which they are how they would like to be. They protect themselves from reality with stories in which they appear valued, hardworking, resourceful, lucky, and other desirable characteristics.
• They lie to demand attention and receive admiration from those around you.
• Liars lie to avoid something or make excuses, but mythomaniacs do it to look like extraordinary people and they can’t stop doing it. Lying gives them pleasure and satisfaction. This is why it is associated with addictions.
• Furthermore the lie reduces anxiety caused by failure, so the behavior of lying is constantly reinforced. However, there are more adaptive ways to manage and overcome the fear of failure.

People who live or interact regularly with a compulsive liar are the first to realize what is happening. Their first reaction is to feel cheated, which breaks the trust between them. Mythomaniacs often lose their social relationships for this reason.

If you have to live with a person like this, you are probably wondering how to treat a pathological liar. When you confront a mythomaniac with his lie, he is going to get angry. He may invent a thousand more stories to explain the one that you don’t believe, he may tell you that he is going to prove it to you and that never happens, or he may say “I can’t believe you don’t trust me” and leave offended, thus avoiding speaking. about the topic. The thing is that you don’t usually get anything, so you are left with two options:

• You can enjoy your relationship with that person, thinking that he is a quirky guy and enjoying his fantastic stories. Yes indeed, don’t expect sincerity. You will never know if he is lying to you or telling you the truth and it is exhausting to spend your life checking it. If the mythomaniac is your partner, it may bring you other benefits, such as love, affection, economic stability… But in general, the lack of trust ends up breaking up couples.
• The other option, which is the usual one, is stay away from that person His stories begin to bore you and you feel that he treats you like a naive person, so little by little you begin to pay less and less attention to him. This distances you and usually ends in the end of the relationship. If the compulsive liar is your family member, you will probably avoid him and do not count on him to make important decisions, since you cannot trust him.

The mythomaniac is still addicted to lying but he will hardly recognize it.

If you are an influential person for him or her you can and should try to go to a professional. His life has probably already suffered the consequences of his addiction in the form of abandonment, so it is possible that he wants to recover his social environment and agrees to seek treatment.

Only a professional will be able to rule out that your behavior is due to another disorder (also necessary to treat) and will help you get out of your addiction. The appropriate therapy in these cases is cognitive-behavioral.

Help a compulsive liar It is not an easy task, but it is not impossible either. Below you have 10 tips on how to help a mythomaniac person:

1. Let him know that you realize his lies.
2. Explain how you feel when someone lies to you.
3. Put yourself in their shoes to try to understand them and thus be able to help them better.
4. Be assertive when you talk to him or her about the topic in question. Here you will find Techniques to develop the capacity for assertiveness.
5. Warn him of what could happen if his lies are discovered.
6. Praise their royal qualities when you have the chance. Compulsive liars are insecure and do not have a good self-concept.
7. Explain to him that without lies he would avoid anxiety and fear of being discovered.
8. Ask him to put himself in your shoes and tell you how he would feel if the situation were reversed.
9. Help him make a list of the pros and cons of lying. (The cons will win).
10. Offer your collaboration and support when they decide to go to a professional.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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