Sphincter control occurs when urination and defecation cease to be a reflex behavior to become a voluntary and automatic behavior. It is estimated that the average age to achieve sphincter control is between two and three years.
When these ages begin to approach and boys and girls still cannot control their sphincters, tense situations are generally created in which caregivers begin to worry; which can cause more stress in the little ones and make the process significantly more difficult.
In this article we will review several tips that can be useful to help boys and girls control their sphincters
Specifically sphincter control It is about dominating at will a muscle that is shaped like a ring and that closes or opens passages in the body to allow us to discard some substances.
Getting to control the sphincters that are inside the anus and urethra is one of the behaviors that allow us to socialize. It is also a process that involves many factors, among which is the age, maturity and development of the child as well as environmental factors that can both favor the process and hinder it.
We say that a boy or girl has not acquired sphincter control when he or she is of a certain age or has been presented with some social demands (such as going to school), and continues to wet or stain clothes or use a diaper, during the day and/or overnight.
Why do some children achieve sphincter control sooner than others?
In principle we must remember that, Although we have found certain patterns of behavior and child development, these guidelines are not definitive: There is great diversity in terms of the processes we go through as human beings.
That is to say, it is completely normal for some boys or girls to achieve some behaviors before others, and if we want to specifically promote sphincter control we must start by taking it easy.
As we have seen, this is a process that depends on several things. Situations that produce tension, stress and anxiety They are one of the factors that interfere significantly. These stressful situations are generally strong changes, which can cause tension because at a young age it is difficult for boys or girls to recognize the rules of a new place and what they are expected to do.
Some examples of these changes are the arrival of a new sibling, starting a new school, the loss of a loved one or even a pet, among other similar events, and even parenting styles that tend to be overprotective; although not all children react in the same way to any of these examples.
On the other hand, A boy or girl may take longer to toilet train if he or she has a developmental condition that causes voluntary behaviors to be achieved at a different speed. Likewise, the process can be influenced by infections or muscle pressure.
Tips to help children control their sphincters
There are many ways to promote it, and Sometimes it is much better to consult directly with a specialist who can guide caregivers and accompany the stressful situations that the little ones may be going through. Some of the most common strategies are those we review below:
1. Promote behaviors and habits related to self-care
In addition to being a behavior, sphincter control is a habit that means take a step from dependence to independence ; which in turn is accompanied by other habits that also allow socialization (such as dressing alone, brushing teeth, showering, communicating, etc.).
Therefore, if we intend to stimulate sphincter control, it is useful to also encourage other habits related to independence and self-care.
2. Modeling and preparing space conditions
Modeling is one of the most popular strategies in cognitive-behavioral psychology and basically consists of serving as a model for another person, to help them acquire a behavior. In this sense, the child must be taught how and where to urinate and defecate Adults can do this directly, but we can also rely on teaching materials, such as stories.
It is also important to ensure that children have a space adapted to their size, and to put them in clothes that they can easily remove. From there it is useful to gradually invite them to sit on the potty at specific times (right after meals, upon waking up or before going to sleep); as well as involve them in their own diaper change (for example, asking them to take clean diapers, wet towels, clothes, etc. themselves).
3. Don’t press
It is necessary to keep in mind that boys and girls have different rhythms and that they assimilate situations in different ways. Transmitting tranquility and calm to them is one of the most effective methods
It is common that when the process begins there are periods of incontinence, in which scolding must be avoided. In the same sense, we must keep in mind that they can first acquire daytime sphincter control, so we must be patient if the process is slower at night.
In the same way avoid comparisons like “your brother controlled much before”, or phrases like “you’re a pisser”, since this generates anxiety and delays the process even more. If what we want is for them to feel responsible for their own hygiene, it is not necessary to scold or punish them, we can do it in other ways.
For example, promoting self-care and responsibility for themselves by teaching them to wash some clothing, or to put it themselves in the washing machine (or whatever is appropriate according to the conditions or lifestyles of each person). In any case, be understanding, convey confidence and accompany them.
4. Use a log
Especially in the cases of children who, for reasons of physiological development, need more support to achieve sphincter control, It is very useful to keep a daily log where we write down the hours at which the boy or girl urinates and defecates.
Keeping this record daily and in the weeks prior to starting a special training program is very useful because it allows us to know the child’s rhythms, and in this way anticipate and accompany the process.
In some cases it is necessary to carry out a formal training program which can begin by removing the boy or girl’s diaper, and putting it on half an hour after he or she urinates or defecates (which is anticipated through the log that we explained previously).
Then it’s a matter of keeping the diaper on for one or two hours, and taking it off again. This training requires, above all, a lot of patience and a lot of order on the part of the caregivers; especially if it is a child who has learning rhythms or adaptive behaviors that are considerably different from the rhythms we see in other children.
In this case, it is especially advisable to seek formal guidance, because the training varies depending on the characteristics of the child and those in charge of his or her care.
6. Make sure children have basic knowledge
Before starting a training program and before inviting them to use the potty, It is important to know if they have basic body knowledge that is, if they have acquired notions related to the body schema (for example, above, below, in front, behind).
We must also encourage the recognition of key words such as toilet, diaper, dirty, clean, pee, urine, feces, urine, or those that are in their immediate context.
7. Help you recognize when you are achieving it
It consists of the child associating voluntary behavior (shincter control) with a pleasant and pleasant sensation For this it is important to congratulate him or show him that we are happy that he has managed to use the potty properly.
The reward may be different for each child, but, in any case, it is important not to fall into exaggeration. In particular, we must prevent the boy or girl from ending up associating the habit of going to the bathroom with material rewards (because they are rewards that we surely will not be able to sustain in the long term and that could generate other complications later).
