Psychologists and sociologists have been trying to understand human behavior regarding love for decades, a human feeling or motivation that can change a person’s life.
Happiness and consummate love are almost synonymous; However, being a couple is not always easy, and conflicts between members can appear at any time.
But despite the specific disputes that can arise in a relationship and that often have to do with differences in deep values, the way of thinking or the beliefs and opinions that a person desires, sometimes, one may not feeling loved by your lover and doubting his or her love “Does our partner love us or is it simple interest?” we may ask ourselves
Although there are no exact rules to determine this, we can observe certain signs that can lead us to believe that what our partner really feels for us is pure and simple interest. Of course, these signs are not 100% accurate, and they may manifest for other reasons.
What are these keys? In the following lines you can find 10 keys that will help you detect if your partner uses you.
1. He does not support you in important decisions nor is he there when you need him
Our partner is one of the most important people in your life, so he or she should show you support during difficult times and important decisions. If, for example, you are in exam time or are taking an exam, he or she should be by your side and understand the situation instead of continually demanding things from you that interest him or her.
If he does not support you in important decisions nor is he there when you need him, he may really want something that you own. Unfortunately, what you have between you may not be true love.
2. He doesn’t make you feel good with his comments and he doesn’t respect you
If in authentic love your partner is by your side and gives you support, he or she must also show you respect and not harm your dignity. Logically, differences can arise in a relationship and conflicts can appear at specific moments when each person defends their position.
Now, when the person is continually discrediting you, insulting you, treating you badly or humiliating you, it is possible that they use you, because they do not take you into account as a person, nor do they take your needs into account. Someone who continually harms their partner does not love them
3. Does not take your opinion into account
Again, respect is basic in any relationship and is manifested in mature love, that love that is rational and that favors the well-being of the couple.
Living with someone is a constant negotiation and, therefore, There must be a balance between the needs of both members Therefore, a person who loves you will take your opinion into account despite not agreeing with it. When this does not happen and the other person is constantly imposing their criteria, it may not be love but interest. .
When we are in love we want to be with someone in body and mind, and that person becomes our priority. That doesn’t mean that you have to be with that person 24 hours a day, but it does mean that there is an interest in being together
Now, when interest is the reason why the other person is with you, they will only look for you at specific times and will make many plans without you. He will only want to be with you when he wants to get something out of it.
5. It is not consistent with the love he says he feels
You’ve probably heard the phrase “words go with the wind.” This phrase is very popular and has a lot of truth.
When a person loves you, they are consistent with what they say and their actions agree with their words People speak through their actions, so if their behavior and what they verbalize are not coherent, the reason why your partner is with you may not be love. In these cases, you may promise a lot but not deliver on your words.
6. He only seeks to have intimate relationships
One of the most obvious signs that your partner is using you is when he only wants to have sex with you That is, that is his only interest in spending time with you. When you don’t make plans together or all he wants to do is meet up for intimate relationships instead of going out to dinner and being seen in public, you may begin to doubt his love.
7. He doesn’t do things for you if he doesn’t benefit from it.
The truth is that when you want to be with someone, sometimes you do things you don’t want just to make your partner feel good. Accompanying him to a concert or taking him to university because his car broke down (when you were meeting your friends) are some examples.
It’s not about continually giving in to their desires without taking yours into account, but your partner, if he loves you, will also make sacrifices for you. That’s why you’ve decided to make him the person who will accompany you for the rest of your life, right?
8. You are always the one who pays
Perhaps you have a lot of financial capital and doubt the love your partner feels towards you, since one of the greatest interests in life is money. Does your partner never pay anything when you go out with him or her? Does he continually ask you to buy him things? He may just want that from you, so watch how he behaves in these situations.
9. Much of your environment tells you so
Sometimes, you may be so in love with your partner that, despite observing the signs above, you want to trick yourself into not recognizing that your partner is using you.
Now, besides what you think, Do others (family, friends, etc.) continually tell you? Do close people in your life alert you that your partner’s behavior may indicate that he or she uses you? Better that you reflect on the matter and use your more rational side.
10. He doesn’t tell you anything too personal, he’s not interested in your life.
Is your interpersonal relationship not intimate nor is there trust between you? Does he find it difficult to talk about his life with you and is rarely interested in yours? Maybe he/she is not interested in your achievements or successes or in your goals or concerns in your life. When someone gives themselves to other people, one feels loved. Isn’t it like that with your partner? Well, think objectively about the type of relationship you have with your lover.
