How To Overcome Difficult Times: What Does Stoicism Tell Us?
Life sometimes seems like a roller coaster, life tests us when we least expect it, the calm is broken and it is difficult for us to understand how in a matter of minutes our environment has changed. However, far from scaring us We must go further, understanding that we have enough capacity to overcome what is coming to us.
Of course, the theory is easy, and as always, the practice is something else.
In recent years, perhaps due to the influence of social networks, Stoic philosophy seems to be spreading widely: This is a current created by Zeno of Citio in Athens in the 3rd century BC. c. We could, in a certain way, equate its foundation to what we know today as resilience.
The relationship between psychology and stoicism is clear, in fact some techniques of the cognitive behavioral approach are based on this philosophical current. Prominent figures such as Seneca, Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius were great references of this current.
Some principles they defended:
The virtues according to the Stoics
The Stoic philosophers emphasized human virtues, mainly highlighting four: wisdom, justice, courage and temperance:
The wisdom It refers to our ability to distinguish the good, the bad and the indifferent, according to philosophers they would be the following categories respectively: acting well, acting evil and, in third place (the indifferent) there would be, for example, money or fame.
In relation to justice They promulgated the idea that we should act ethically with others, that is, thinking about the community, being kind, respectful and generous with our peers. “What is not good for the hive is not good for the bees,” said Marco Aurelio.
The value or courage does not mean that we do not feel fear, but that in the face of storms, we act correctly, facing the situation.
Temperance It is related to self-control, moderation and being self-disciplined. This virtue would help us a lot in the case of addictions or other types of excesses.
An example
Elena, at 50 years old, was in a moment of personal crisis. Talking to her mother, she was venting: she was separating from her husband and she felt very sad and frustrated, unable to understand how their relationship had ended after having dedicated so much time to it. . From the beginning, she took it for granted that the two would be together for the rest of their lives and that she would never have to tell her children anything like that.
Her mother listened to her with affection and empathy. Furthermore, that same day Elena had been told that she was going to be fired and that her contract would end in two days. She couldn’t believe that this was happening to her too, she said to herself: “why is life treating me so badly? I don’t deserve all this that is happening to me.” Her mother advised her, at the end of the conversation, encouraging her to accept changes and uncertainty as part of her life.
After a few difficult months for Elena, in which she had done good personal work with the support of psychotherapy, she was then able to understand the message that her mother had given her that day: Elena had had the opportunity to start and set up her flower shop. As a lover of nature and floral arrangements, that had been her dream since she was little.
She also had more time for herself now that she was living alone and had realized that she had not given herself the attention she deserved, since she had dedicated herself to others without paying attention to their needs. She had even started dating a man she felt very comfortable with. This is how he understood that life was offering him new possibilities.
To do?
Some recommendations that we can follow are the following:
