Infidelity is a very difficult situation for a couple to overcome and therefore also to forgive. It is a very serious act since the person who has been unfaithful has violated the pact that they had probably established from the beginning of the relationship. It is also about the loss of trust in the person and a huge lack of respect.
So if you find yourself now going through a situation where someone has been unfaithful to you, it is normal that you feel frustrated and are having a hard time getting ahead of this. In this PsychologyFor article: how to overcome infidelity in marriage we are going to give you a series of tips that will be very useful to achieve this.
Something that is important to mention, although it depends on the individual situation and each person’s perspective, is that we must take into account the time in which they have been unfaithful to you the type of relationship your partner had with the other person since although it is also serious, a one-night infidelity is not the same as one where your partner has had a relationship with another person for 1 year or more, for example.
Surely, in a long-term infidelity, your partner feels something deeper for the other person, unlike a short-term infidelity, and it affects you a little less and, therefore, costs you less time overcome it. However, whatever your situation, it is a delicate topic.
Causes of infidelity in marriage
Before moving on to the tips to overcome this situation, we are going to analyze what are the most common causes that usually lead a person to be unfaithful.
Relationship problems. Having relationship problems constantly and increasingly intense. This is because from the beginning the couple has not learned to solve their problems and lets them pass until they become bigger and bigger. Finally, the members of the couple feel like they have “no way out” and one or both choose to commit infidelity even as a way to cope with the situation.
Monotony in the relationship. On many occasions, couples reach a point where the relationship becomes too monotonous and even boring. They always do the same activities, they never try something new, they stop surprising each other, etc. So they may choose to seek novelty with other people.
Falling in love As we know, falling in love, unlike love, is an extremely intense but temporary feeling. Many people often confuse falling in love with love and think that being in love is the deepest way in which you can love someone when that is really not the case. So it may happen that one of the members of the couple falls in love with another person and thinks that love is over with their current partner.
Act of revenge. Sometimes a person may decide to be unfaithful to take revenge for something their partner did to them, such as the fact that they were also unfaithful, that they lied to them, etc. for some situation that the person considers serious enough to commit infidelity.
Sexual dissatisfaction. It may be that one of the members of the relationship feels sexually dissatisfied either because their partner avoids having relations with them, because they do not understand each other in that sense with their partner or simply because they also like to experiment with other people.
Unsafety. Another reason is usually that one of the members of the couple has very low self-esteem, although sometimes it is not so evident and knowing that they can attract attention and be with other people makes them feel more secure and desired.
Emotional immaturity. Emotionally immature people who commit to another person when they really are not capable of doing so. They commit infidelity without being aware of the consequences that this can have for the other person and for themselves.
I want and can’t get over infidelity: 5 steps and tips
1. Accept what happened
The worst thing you can do when a person has been unfaithful to you is to try to evade the situation, deny the pain and act as if nothing had happened. It is normal that we feel pain, that we experience it and suffer it since the person we probably thought would never betray us has betrayed us. To do this, it is important to accept that what has happened, although it sometimes costs us and also accept all emotions although painful, that this could have brought us.
2. Express your emotions
It is necessary that you let off steam completely and that you are not keeping anything for yourself. Talk about what you feel, cry, scream, write what you feel, it doesn’t matter how you do it, the important thing is to externalize your emotions.
3. Take your time
The best thing you can do before making any type of decision, whether to continue with the relationship or leave it, is to take your time. What’s the point of taking your time? It serves more than anything to stop you and reflect on what happened, to let off steam, to live your own acceptance process and finally you can more clearly make the decision that you believe is best for you.
4. Make a decision
After taking your time, your perspective on infidelity may have changed. So now you have to face this situation and No evade her Whatever decision you have made, communicate it to your partner, explain the reasons you have for making the decision and reach an agreement in the best possible way.
5. Learn to forgive
Finally, whether or not you have decided to continue with the relationship, it is important that you learn to forgive the person because that forgiveness will bring relief to yourself. It is clear that it is not something that you can easily do overnight, but when you have the intention to do it things will become easier for you.
Couples therapy to overcome infidelity
In case you have decided to forgive and continue with your marriage but feel that you cannot handle the situation alone, it is highly recommended that both of you go to couples therapy with a professional The therapy is carried out alternating sessions individually and as a couple. The goal of this therapy is to learn to manage emotions caused by infidelity, discover the problems that probably already existed at the root and gradually provide a solution to them.
It also focuses on improving communication within the couple since this will help them understand each other better and resolve future conflicts in a better way, increasing support and understanding, among other things that are favorable for the relationship in the short and long term. It helps the person who has been affected to sincerely forgive his or her partner and even helps the person who has committed the infidelity to forgive himself since in this type of case, the feeling of guilt in the that he was unfaithful is making him suffer too much to the point that it also affects the relationship with the other. Regaining trust is basic and to do this the professional uses techniques and tools that they have to carry out at home to achieve it.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to overcome infidelity in marriage we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.
