When faced with the illness of a loved one with severe and uncurable pathologies such as Alzheimer’s or terminal cancer, family members can have it as bad or worse than the patients. In many cases they feel that they are not prepared to emotionally face such a situation, and they usually consider that their suffering is secondary and should not be attended to in the face of the need to provide support to the sick person.
But the truth is that the discomfort of the relatives of these sick people is a major health problem that should not be underestimated or seen as a trifle; The fact that another person is suffering from a very serious pathology does not diminish its importance.
For this reason, Psychology has investigated to discover strategies to support these people, and many psychotherapy professionals are prepared to provide support for family members who may be exposed to these difficult experiences with a very sick loved one. The objective is to prevent the disease from dragging family members into a mental disorder such as depression, generalized anxiety or post-traumatic stress.
Tips to help the relatives of a person with a hopeless illness
If people close to you are going through a stage in which a loved one suffers from a severe illness without a cure, or if you yourself are in this situation, keep these guidelines in mind to deal with the situation.
1. Recommend psychotherapy
Putting yourself in the hands of a competent psychology professional is the first recommendation that can be given to any family member of a sick person, since through psychological therapy they will be able to improve their psychological health and will give them tools to manage their emotions in a functional way that does not lead to disorders.
A psychologist will be of great help when expressing everything that your loved one’s illness makes you feel and will provide psychological support at all times in the face of the difficult situation that the entire family is going through. And it will also offer treatment to those who have already developed psychopathologies.
In addition to that, psychological help also serves to provide the family members of any patient with useful strategies and behavioral guidelines that psychologically and emotionally benefit the person who is in a disease process. And all of this in a personalized way and adapted to the characteristics of each person and/or family, in individual or family sessions.
2. Encourage the expression of feelings
The expression of feelings is a basic need in these types of difficult situations, and that is why it is essential that the person be able to express all types of feelings and emotions related to their family member’s illness.
This expression of feelings is of great help for the person to vent and feel better, since In the family context, they often do not do so because they feel guilty if they appear “emotionally weak.” or because they consider that said expression of feelings does not help the sick person.
To make it easier for the family member to express their feelings clearly, it is common to use the emotional labeling technique, a therapeutic practice widely used in psychological consultations consisting of identifying one’s own or others’ emotions using specific words that can be integrated into meaningful phrases. in order to conceptualize them in a concrete way, understand them and be able to be aware of the limits of their scope and the suffering to which they can give rise, losing the fear of the ideas behind those terms.
3. Distribute tasks and care
Another of the classic ways we have to help people whose family members may have serious illnesses is Ensure that everyone has time to rest physically and mentally after providing the daily support that your family member needs.
This rest can be achieved, for example, by establishing shifts to go to the hospital and avoiding all responsibilities falling on one person.
By distributing work and care among more than one family member, we will ensure that the entire family can rest throughout the week and we will avoid psychological alterations caused by excessive work and attention to the sick family member.
4. Know how to disconnect
Disconnecting from time to time is also highly therapeutic for people with sick family members and to achieve this There are many useful relaxation techniques that can be trained and taught by a psychology professional.
Some of these techniques can be Mindfulness or Full Attention (to frequently get rid of obsessive thoughts), meditation (practice can help us relax and be in balance and calm with ourselves) and many other activities such as yoga or meditation. controlled breathing.
5. Deal with the topic of death, so that it is not a taboo
In cases of sick family members, It is common for the topic of death to become a taboo topic in the family environment; However, psychology professionals recommend talking about it in a natural way to encourage the expression of feelings on this issue and not fall into attempts to block thoughts related to this very important concept.
In psychological therapy, the expression of feelings related to death is usually encouraged, once again using the practice of emotional labeling, a therapeutic mechanism that helps us identify our own emotions on a specific topic, understand them and express them.
Death is a topic that should not be avoided but should not be obsessed either to the relatives of people with sick relatives, it should be treated naturally and whenever the person wishes to do so.
6. Ask other people for help
Another of the classic recommendations that we can make to friends and family of sick people is to ask other loved ones for help, in case they need it.
We all have a close circle of friends and family who can help us in times of greatest difficulty, and when we are suffering for someone’s health there is nothing more comforting than the emotional and sentimental support of a loved one who understands us. At the end of the day, that’s what loved ones are there for.
7. Go for honesty
In cases of illness it is always recommended Do not keep the issue a secret from people with strong emotional ties to the patient since this type of management can only lead to subsequent problems and conflicts of all kinds.
This type of psychological conflict when faced with the concealment of an illness is usually emotional pressure, stress or anxiety, both in the sick person and in those from whom the illness has been hidden.
On the contrary, the most common recommendation that is usually made in these cases is to always be honest with the family member’s illness and communicate it to those who have a relationship with it, whenever they wish to do so.
- You may be interested: “How to communicate better with other people? 6 useful tips”
Psychological professionals are also very useful for training all types of social skills in family and friends who wish to relate to the sick person, attending to and favoring their needs and requirements at all times.
A psychologist will teach us to practice a co-therapeutic support role towards the sick family member, training non-invasive communication tools that serve as support to the person who is having a hard time, respecting their privacy at all times and that contribute to not altering the environment.
9. Encourage asking the psychologist all the questions you have
In cases of sick family members, their loved ones find themselves facing a situation for which they are not prepared and harbor a multitude of questions, fears and concerns at all times.
It is important that all these questions are asked before psychology and health professionals and that all fears are addressed from the root, so as not to suffer excessively. Even questions that do not have a clear answer, by being formulated and raised, help to organize ideas and hypotheses.
- Related article: “The 10 basic communication skills”
10. The importance of free time
As indicated, Physical and mental rest is of great importance for the families of sick people; That is why we must always try to have a moment of rest and free time for ourselves.
This means allowing ourselves to practice sports or a favorite hobby throughout the week, have stable and healthy social relationships, and also carry out all kinds of activities that allow us to disconnect from the suffering we are going through.
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