The orgasm is a universal experience and closely linked to reproduction, so the importance that biology has in it is undeniable. However, not everything is reduced to the biological, to the innate: the psychological experience also plays a role in the experience of orgasm, and more specifically, the way in which we regulate our emotions and our behavioral patterns.
That is why, in the same way that without realizing it we can “learn” habits and routines that keep us from the possibility of having an orgasm, the opposite also happens: we have room for maneuver to make it easier to reach it. , either alone or in company. Therefore, in this article we will review several tips to know how to reach orgasm But first, let’s see what this phenomenon consists of.
What we call orgasm is the climax of the human sexual response cycle, characterized by a sudden release of sexual arousal , which is accompanied by the experience of intense pleasure and a series of involuntary muscle contractions in the pelvic area. For its part, the sexual response cycle is a sequence of hormonal and physiological changes in general that take place in the body of those who engage in sexual stimulation actions, and in which the autonomic nervous system plays a very important role ( which also triggers the appearance of orgasm).
As products of the biological evolution of species, the reason for both the orgasm and the rest of the phases of the sexual response is to prepare the organism to maximize the possibilities of having offspring, that is, conceiving through intercourse. However, in contemporary human societies it has become something more, and constitutes an important part of what is considered to be enjoy full sexuality in non-asexual people, whether or not there is an intention to achieve pregnancy.
Thus, beyond its biological function as an incentive to reproduce, orgasm plays a role in people’s intimate relationships, as well as in their way of enjoying life.
Why can’t I orgasm?
Problems reaching orgasm can be due to various factors, although they are usually a combination of causes. Generally there is no physical health problem in the form of injuries or malformations that prevent reaching orgasm, and most of the causes are psychological. More concretely, It is worth highlighting the frequency of problems associated with stress and anxiety , as well as simple ignorance when it comes to holding erroneous beliefs about sex. In any case, it is relatively easy to solve these situations by going to psychotherapy or professionals in the field of sexology.
What do you have to do to reach orgasm?
If there are persistent problems when reaching orgasm and it does not occur or occurs very rarely (many times, only through masturbation), it is important to seek professional help in the field of sexology or medicine.
The guidelines and recommendations that we will see below should be seen as general advice for people who do not suffer from an organic or psychological condition that prevents them from reaching orgasm no matter how hard they try, and who simply want this process to be more fluid and simple. This is the situation of many people, especially them, since Approximately 40% of women do not reach orgasm during sexual relations (in the case of men, this percentage is reduced to 15%).
That said, let’s see what to do to reach orgasm more easily.
As a general rule, both the lack of rest and the lack of energy derived from eating poorly and resting little tend to make it difficult to fully enjoy sexual experiences, and represent an obstacle to reaching orgasm. In the same way, The fact of having consumed drugs (legal or illegal) usually interferes to a greater or lesser extent with sexual response when coming into contact with our nervous system, so this is another of the many reasons why it is advisable to avoid these substances.
2. Don’t try to control everything
Sexual relations are a spontaneous experience and based, to a large extent, on improvisation. There is nothing wrong with not being able to follow a sequence of actions that we had established at the beginning; In fact, it is surely a positive thing, since shows that we are able to listen to our body on the go
3. Leave taboo topics behind
Both in sex with other people and in masturbation, reaching orgasm requires not always having in mind what is considered taboo. It is important to adopt an open and acceptance-based mindset.
4. Give ourselves time to experiment
Trial and error is the best engine to enjoy sexuality and to promote self-knowledge in this area of life, to know what we like beyond social conventions and gender roles Therefore, no specific advice on what movements to do and when to do them will be more valuable than the experience of giving yourself time to experiment alone or in company. The important thing is to have the desired degree of privacy and the time necessary to not stress over the clock.
Focusing everything on the friction of the genitals is counterproductive. Therefore, if you have thought that you do not know how to reach orgasm, it is possibly because you do not give enough importance to the preliminaries, or because you underestimate the erogenous potential of physical contact with other parts of the body. Sex, when experienced as something enjoyable, goes beyond the mechanics of reproduction and it is an experience that must be lived in its entirety, without focusing only on intercourse or what simulates intercourse.
6. Take the initiative in sexual relations
Once we have reached a high degree of self-knowledge in the area of sexuality, taking the initiative is usually quite effective in reaching orgasm relatively quickly; That is to say, adopting a more active role than the person we are with allows us to control more the type of contact and friction with their body, so that the rhythms are managed in a way according to the ascending curve of sexual arousal. Thanks to this, the transition from the initial stages of the human sexual response to orgasm takes place more fluidly and without interruptions Of course, this strategy must be combined with attention to the other person’s needs and desires.
Do you want to have psychological assistance?
If you are interested in having professional help in the field of psychology to deal with problems such as low self-esteem, relationship crises, or poor anxiety management, I invite you to contact me.
My name is Thomas Saint Cecilia and I am a psychologist specialized in the cognitive-behavioral intervention model. I can offer you my services in person at my office located in Madrid or online by video call.
