How To Strengthen My Self-esteem? 5 Practical Tips
Many times people talk about people who have too low self-esteem and who suffer because of it.
However, this idea can lead us to overlook that self-esteem is something dynamic, a psychological phenomenon that we can learn to readjust to be happier. “Having low self-esteem” is not part of the essence of people, it is something that is very circumstantial.
Of course, this fact is taken advantage of in the field of psychotherapy, where psychology professionals help people achieve this readjustment; But beyond the consultation, people can also learn some basic notions to increase their level of self-esteem. In this article we are going to explore that second option: strengthening one’s own self-esteem by adopting new habits and routines.
Self-esteem is the way in which we perceive and value ourselves as people It is about that predisposition to see ourselves in one way or another through concepts such as “good” and “bad”, “perfection” and “imperfection”, etc. Of course, the way in which we generate our self-esteem is full of nuances and normally does not have to do with binary or clearly exclusive categories, but they are generally linked to a reference of what it is that we want to become and what It is what we want to avoid being.
Since self-esteem is connected to concepts belonging to the realm of morality, of what should be and what should not be, it has a great capacity to mobilize emotions in us. This makes some situations lead us to feel very bad because we notice that they show that we are far from being how we would like to be, and others that make us feel in “a cloud” when we are proud of something we have done. Thus, self-esteem can both motivate us to get involved in something to feel better about who we are, or paralyze us because of the hopelessness we feel when we believe that we will never be able to measure up to something.
What problems can a lack of self-esteem cause?
The way in which low self-esteem generates psychological problems (not necessarily so severe as to be considered part of psychopathology) varies greatly depending on the personality, social context and lifestyle of each individual. But usually, The areas of life that experience the most wear and tear are:
How to strengthen my self-esteem?
These are some guidelines and strategies that can help you regulate your self-esteem upwards.
1. Get rid of the people you want to please at all costs
There are cases in which we seek a person’s approval precisely because we notice that they do not value us ; These kinds of experiences are a trap that wears down our ability to love and respect ourselves.
Instead of seeking validation from these people, surround yourself with friends who are able to offer you constructive criticism and who won’t shut up when they see something positive or admirable in you.
2. Keep going by aiming for medium and long-term goals
If you do not demonstrate to yourself that you are capable of learning and improving in some aspect of life that is significant to you, It is easy for you to reach a situation of stagnation that wears down your self-esteem
Therefore, it is important that you provide your daily life with a notion of progress: learn a language, develop coexistence or conflict resolution skills, train yourself in some science in a self-taught way, etc. If you set your pace of progress, you will not get frustrated and you will see first-hand what you are capable of, which will have a positive impact on your self-esteem.
3. Take care of your health
It is a mistake to assume that self-esteem is achieved only through psychological or moral improvement; If you don’t take care of your body, you will also feel bad emotionally and that will lead you to adopt a pessimistic perspective about what you do and what happens to you.
For example, notice the difference in your mood when you get enough sleep and when you don’t. The same happens with many other factors of physical wear and tear that produce accumulated effects: poor diet, lack of exercise and maintenance of your muscle mass, poor posture, etc.
4. Accept the existence of imperfections in you
Accepting them does not mean assuming that they will always be there (although with some of them, that is inevitable). It is simply assume that those imperfections are there and that you should not obsess about not thinking about them
That way you will be able to approach them from a constructive point of view, without focusing only on how bad they make you feel, and give a resolution to those that are worth transforming: improving your empathetic listening, developing tolerance for difference, etc.
5. Assume there is nothing wrong with seeking help
Self-esteem is maintained in good condition with the help of others Therefore, when you need it, seek help from others, whether through informal relationships (friends, family…) or in the context of psychotherapy.
Do you want to strengthen your self-esteem with psychotherapeutic support?
Improving self-esteem is one of the most common focuses of intervention in psychotherapy. And it is natural that this is the case, because as we have seen, it gives rise to very emotionally painful situations, and the experiences that can give rise to these imbalances are varied: any person can come to see and value themselves in a dysfunctional way. Therefore, for decades psychologists have been developing therapy strategies and techniques to strengthen patients’ self-esteem and make them learn to self-manage it in an appropriate way.
If you are interested in having psychotherapy services to allow you to progress in this area of life, contact us. In PSiCOBAi We serve people of all ages and offer psychotherapy both in person and online by video call. You will find our psychotherapy center in Majadahonda.
