Impotence: How To Solve These Problems In Men’s Sexuality?
Do you suffer from sexual impotence? We explain what it consists of and how to start solving these problems in male sexuality. Discover the key to combat it from psychology.
The sexual impotence It is one of the conditions that creates the most shame in the person who suffers from it. Despite this, a man being impotent is one of the most common problems they can have. So much so that on many occasions this problem in male sexuality reveals an affectation in his psychology that must be treated.
The sexual importance It is the inability to erect in men, persistently and recurrently (as defined by the WHO). We must say that this WHO description implies an inability, although paradoxically erections occur or do not occur, not in response to a will, but in response to sexual excitement, a completely involuntary matter. Continuing with the diagnosis, the alteration causes marked discomfort or difficulties in interpersonal relationships and is also not due to the effect of any substance or a medical illness, nor to the existence of another psychological problem that better explains the disorder.
That is, if the couple or couples do not give importance to the problem, and neither do you, the erection problem or disorder “does not exist”, since one of the criteria required to diagnose the problem is not met. Of course, it occurs to us that if it happened that the first time it happened, none of the members of the couple had given it importance, and they continued having fun without paying attention to the state of his penis, the problem would not have continued to occur, unless physical problems or substance abuse were involved.
Before we delve into the causes of sexual impotence , we must know that there are different types of male erections. A first type is a nocturnal erection that occurs during sleep. When this does not occur, it may indicate that there is functional impotence. On the other hand, another type of erection is reflex, which is caused by physical stimulation. Finally, the last type is the psychogenic erection that is caused by visual or mental images.
Main causes of impotence
Getting an erection is a very complex process that involves psychological impulses from the brain, as well as adequate levels of testosterone, in the same way that a process of the nervous and vascular system at full capacity is required. In this way, both physical and psychological causes play a relevant role in causing a man be impotent
One of the main causes of male impotence It’s stress. In many cases, helplessness comes hand in hand with a time full of worries or a fast pace of life. Therefore, to seek a treatment for impotence you should try to lower stress levels.
2. Performance anxiety
Another of the male sexuality problems They are related to bad experiences in bed. Once the person has images of impotence from other sexual experiences in their thoughts, this can lead to even poorer performance in these moments. This is a vicious circle as it creates negative internal dialogue, as well as the vision of having an inability to please one’s partner, which creates more sexual impotence due to the anxiety that these obsessive thoughts create in the person.
3. Substance abuse
Both alcohol and other stronger drugs can create a male impotence This happens because these substances cause a decrease in performance capacity due to the difficulty in concentrating and thinking, as well as the effects it has on the physical process of erection. Different studies have shown that drug abuse not only causes a man to be impotent but also causes testosterone levels to become much lower in the body. In this way, male sexual problems are preceded by the low presence of this hormone.
4. Depression
Depression is another of the most common causes in sexual impotence This is because this permanent sadness affects both physically and psychologically. Furthermore, on many occasions depression comes hand in hand with anxiety, causing emotional helplessness to end up causing a decrease in libido.
5. Guilt
When there is the presence of guilt for some act or action, this can cause certain impotence in male sexuality The most obvious reason is simply that the person is constantly thinking about what has happened and cannot concentrate on sex or the present. In this way, one of the remedies for erectile dysfunction in these cases will be precisely to increase our confidence and try to forget the past.
6. Low self-esteem
In many cases the causes of impotence They are related to low self-esteem on the part of men. Therefore, the impotent man has a poor perception of himself, causing it to affect other areas of his life such as sexual relations. In these cases of erection problems the solutions are precisely inside the person. So much so that work must be done to increase self-esteem in order to leave this sexual impotence behind.
7. Asexuality
In some cases when a person is helpless the meaning It is related to your sexual orientation. In this way, the causes of impotence must be sought through personal self-knowledge.
8. Relationship problems
Constant fights or lack of interest in sexual desire make love and dysfunction more than linked. When there are many problems between two people in a relationship, the impotence It can be one of the most visible consequences that you should improve your bond. Therefore, one of the remedies against the impotence that comes from this will be couples therapy.
There are some people who have a certain addiction to pornography. In these cases, impotence arises from unrealistic expectations about sex or sexual partners. When this problem arises, the impotence and its treatment They will go hand in hand with trying to quit this addiction.
In many of these cases of male impotence The solution will have to go through a psychological consultation. Despite this, you can work on some personal aspects to try to cure the causes of impotence that come from these psychological aspects.
How to combat impotence?
The only remedies for impotence Effective methods are in the hands of both psychologists and doctors. Although this will be the best way to treat sexual impotence, we can follow a series of tips to try to address sexuality problems in men.
Analyze the cause
To begin to solve the problem, first of all it is important to calm down, since being anxious or worried, and acting based on that concern in the sexual and relationship sphere, will only make the problem worse. It is therefore very important not to continue having sexual relations since this will cause the anguish to increase and therefore the sexual situations end up becoming potential threats. The first thing to determine is whether impotence is due to a physical problem or a psychologically based problem (although there are always psychological aspects in physical problems and vice versa, it is important to determine which of the two has more weight and mediates the movement). of the problem).
Generally speaking, if erections occur when masturbating, or in the morning, it is unlikely that a physical problem is occurring. If this does not occur, it is possible that you are having erections at night while sleeping. Then either the partner is instructed to check whether they are having erections, or a paper ring (tight, but not tight, and made of paper) can be placed around the non-erected penis. “soft” not very resistant) before going to sleep, so if when we wake up we see that the ring is broken, it is more than likely that it was due to an erection at night. In that case we can also rule out the existence of an organic problem. This is because during the night there is no conscious control of the state of the penis and the parasympathetic nervous system (this system, also called autonomic, which is the same one that regulates breathing when we sleep, and the heartbeat) acts without that can be interfered with.
A healthy man has several erections at night, if he does not have any organic or physical problem. If you notice that there have been no erections and have some certainty about it, then it is absolutely necessary that you go to your doctor, since it is possible that it is a physical problem and an exhaustive study will have to be performed (blood tests, urological tests, ultrasounds). , etc…). If it is observed that in certain circumstances there is an erection, then he can go to the sex therapist of his choice, although it never hurts for his family doctor to be aware.
It is important to talk about the male impotence problems with partner. Furthermore, in the first consultation it is advisable that you go with your sexual partner to better visualize the causes of impotence. Although in principle, when faced with this problem, men tend to take ownership of it, and assume that it has to do with something that only happens to them, sex is another form of relationship within the couple. Your therapist may find it necessary to begin a series of couples therapy sessions, depending on the state of your relationship.
Don’t feel guilty
We cannot forget that an important factor in this problem has to do with the sexual partner’s reaction to losing or not having an erection. Sometimes, probably due to inexperience and/or lack of knowledge, couples react assuming that the problem has to do with lack of attractiveness and it is also common to attribute it to possible infidelities, which will cause an increase in anxiety and anguish regarding sexual relations due to part of both members of the couple.
Promote your self-knowledge
Regarding the reasons or motives that may be at the base of this problem, if it is indeed clear that the problem is not organic, ask yourself this series of questions:
Am I doing something that goes against my nature? (If I am a person who needs security and trust, it is unlikely that my sexual response will be the usual one if the person I am interacting with is unfamiliar to me.)
Am I doing something that, according to my upbringing and values, is not correct or gives me problems of “conscience”? (For example, being unfaithful while being very traditional).
How is my personal relationship with my partner regardless of sex?
The sexual response It is not at all unrelated to our life, whether we are going through a personal crisis, whether we have work problems or whether our relationship is not good and generates anxiety, in the same way as sleep, appetite, or motivation. . In this way, in many cases our responses to sex only indicate a problem in other areas of our lives.
