Sexuality Beyond Penetration Or Intercourse

When we talk about sexuality or a sexual act, most people think of the idea of ​​coital relationship, which is none other than penetration, but sex is more than that.

Sexuality beyond penetration or intercourse

The majority of people who go to a psychology consultation, seeking sexological help, do so because they have the perception that they are not having a “complete” sexual relationship When asked to explain why they believe their sexual relations are incomplete, they respond that they cannot reach the penetration or vaginal or anal thrusting phase for the time they consider sufficient to feel satisfied. Therefore, when faced with a sexual relationship, at least heterosexual, which is the sexual orientation of the majority of people who present this problem in a consultation, both men and women focus on penis-vagina penetration, so if the man is not able to obtain an adequate erection and subsequent endurance, they do not consider it to be a satisfactory sexual relationship.

To explain the problem that has arisen with the issue of genitalization, we can be guided by the graph, whose image is included in this article, of Human Sexual Response, proposed by Master and Johnson. As we can see in this graph, a sexual relationship can be divided into 5 stages.

1. Arousal

It would be what we can call the preamble or games prior to the sexual act, such as: caresses, kisses, stimulating words, etc…, this phase usually lasts about 15 or 20 minutes, in many cases if the duration is shorter, such Perhaps adequate excitation has not been achieved to proceed to the next phase.

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2. Plateau

Sexual activity aimed at achieving orgasm. For most people, the plateau would be the act of penetration (penis-vagina or penis-anus), although it would also be oral sex, or stimulation of the genitals with toys, the hand or the whole body.

3. Orgasms

After an (indeterminate) time of genital stimulation of specific points, orgasm or orgasms (in the case of women) would be reached.

4. Resolution

After reaching orgasm, the couple or people who have had sexual intercourse share a moment of intimacy, where kisses and hugs are conscious and communication is done through complicity and tenderness (whether or not the individuals are in love). .

5. Refractory period

Depending on whether you are a man or a woman, we will take into account some specific aspects, such as that a woman can have several orgasms in the same sexual relationship and that a man has what is called a refractory period, which is the time he needs to recover after orgasm.

The people who attend the Algeciras Sexologist consultation present a problem, in principle in one of the exposed phases but over time, it ends up harming all phases, turning the sexual relationship into a situation of stress and negativity. Above all because the goal of the majority of men and women is to be able to achieve penetration, being very aware of the penis erection as if only the penis were the protagonist of the sexual relationship and subsequently the vagina giving a excessive emphasis on vaginal penetration and thrusting to the point that if this is not achieved, it seems that the rest of the sexual act is neither valid nor satisfactory and therefore “incomplete.”

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