Stubborn, stubborn, closed-minded… these and some more are adjectives that very well describe what intransigent people are like. It is difficult to live with them, especially because they cling so much to their point of view and are so closed to listening to and understanding other people’s opinions that interacting with them is extremely difficult.
It is not a mental disorder or a psychological problem. There are simply people with strong personalities, incapable of questioning their points of view to the point that, despite not being a clinical condition, they can cause coexistence problems.
Let’s analyze what intransigent people are like what characteristics define them and how to deal with them.
What are intransigent people?
The word “intransigence” means respecting preset limits. Its adjective, being intransigent, is used to describe a character or personality that does not compromise or forgive. When we talk about an uncompromising person we mean someone who is not willing to give in or change their position to reach an agreement or close a debate
Intransigent people do not accept that another individual may be right and, therefore, they do not recognize that the other’s arguments may be valid. You could say that they are in constant opposition, they like conflict and are very stubborn.
First of all, something needs to be clarified. Although the most radical intransigence is not a desirable personality trait, we all have the right to show ourselves this way at times, especially when there is something that we do not like at all or that is very out of keeping with our belief system. It must be done assertively, that is, respecting the opinions of others but being honest with what we do not like or that we consider not in tune with our values. But, also, it is important not to make this a constant in our own behavior.
Characteristics of uncompromising people
These are the main characteristics of uncompromising people.
1. Cognitive inflexibility
We can define cognitive inflexibility as the inability to change one’s thoughts Being cognitively inflexible is an obstacle to learning because, throughout our lives, it is necessary to be open to new ideas in order to expand our knowledge and be willing to pay attention to opinions or facts that do not correspond to what we have in our minds.
2. Psychological reactance
Another characteristic of intransigent people is psychological reactance. This idea proposed by the American psychologist Jack Brehm defines situations in which norms, statements or suggestions other than one’s own are automatically rejected when these ideas are interpreted as threats to one’s own freedom. In other words, it is the tendency to oppose anyone who contradicts our values
3. Constant alert
Uncompromising people are constantly on alert. They are individuals who are very susceptible to the comments and behaviors of others, interpreting any action as a potential threat to their dignity For this reason, they are constantly prepared to counterattack any comment, no matter how innocent and not malicious, that they have perceived as personal criticism.
4. Cognitive conservatism
Cognitive conservatism refers to the situation in which a mind refuses to change its mind or think differently This conservatism can become such in the case of intransigent people that, even when they find themselves in a situation in which a certain flexibility and open-mindedness is required to be able to move forward, they are incapable of making that necessary change of ideas.
5. Pathological need for control and prediction
Intransigent people show unreasonable persistence with respect to certain thoughts, something associated with an obsessive need for control and security These people hold on to their ideas, biases, and stereotypes because they need the world to be predictable. Anything that falls outside their grid vision of how the world works, they perceive as a threat and react negatively to it.
6. Confirmation bias
These types of people are victims of confirmation bias, that is, They look for or only interpret information that confirms their opinions, instead of evaluating all the data Information that refutes their views will be taken as false or of minor importance.
How to deal with an uncompromising person
It is quite likely that in your social environment there are one or several intransigent people. If this is the case and you are wondering how to deal with them, the first thing you should do is do not flee from the situation and do not counterattack with criticism Instead of recognizing and responding to their bad intentions, we must put the focus of attention on ourselves, working on our self-esteem and conscience. Thus, we can reaffirm our behavior and opinions in the face of the other’s stubbornness and be calm when they are so cognitively inflexible.
When dealing with this type of people, it is highly recommended to apply the following strategies:
1. Seriously reconsider the relationship
If that uncompromising person does you more harm than good, it is time to seriously reconsider the relationship and distance yourself if necessary.
2. Respect above all
It is essential to use personal respect at all times No matter how the other person responds, we must continue to be respectful of him or her because, if not, it is as if we agree with him or her.
- Related article: “Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication”
3. Assume that we will probably achieve nothing
When you talk or argue with an intransigent person, it is healthy to assume that most of the time you are not going to achieve anything. You don’t have to obsess over convincing them Well, at the end of the day, they are still people obsessed with their own ideas and that is very difficult to change.
4. Let him talk and listen
Instead of arguing with them, let them talk and listen to all their arguments about whatever you are talking about. Generally, intransigent people provide very weak arguments based only on their own beliefs, not on facts. If we listen to them well, it will be easy to keep them in mind when approaching them with information that contradicts them
5. Expose the effects of your behavior
It is useful to explain to intransigent people, in a simple and clear way, the effects that your behavior can have Anyone who refuses to debate or reach agreements will, sooner or later, suffer the consequences.