Is it Possible to Change Personality?

Personality is among the topics in the world of psychology that usually arouse the most interest at a popular level.

However, this interest is often somewhat ambivalent. Some people become obsessed with classifying individuals into different categories, similar to the way we talk about zodiac signs, believing that this way they have a deeper understanding of human behavior; and others think above all about the idea of ​​“breaking” the limits of personality or even exchanging one type of personality for another, normally assuming that this allows one to experience a process of improvement as a human being, an increase in psychological maturity by overcoming limitations. initials.

That is precisely what this article is about, If it is possible to change the personality, a question that, depending on how we answer it, can even prevent or promote the appearance of mental health problems if certain circumstances occur.

Can a person’s personality change?

Many people reach a point where, due to the frustration generated by noticing that they are not able to learn from their mistakes or grow as human beings, the problem is their personality, their “way of being” in general.

In the same way, there are those who become frustrated when they notice that one or more people in their closest social circle, such as family, friends or even their partner, are not capable of improving, of offering their best version, and they assume that the cause that these relationships are disappointing due to the personality of those individuals.

In both experiences, both when we feel bad about ourselves or when we feel bad being next to someone, There is often that feeling that there are things that unfortunately never seem to change, and expecting progress in the way of behaving from someone who has been repeatedly showing a series of very clear defects for years would mean self-deception or falling into naive optimism. That is, there would be “old vices” or personality characteristics that are immutable.

Now, other people assume that everything really depends on the context in which we live, and the learning we do throughout life. From this perspective, seeing how someone seems not to change even as decades pass would not provide much relevant information about their potential to improve or make positive progress in some aspect of life, because the simple succession of years does not mean that they have opportunities. to expose yourself to experiences that allow you to learn.

So… is there a possibility for a human being’s personality to change? The answer to this very common question is as brief as it is frustrating: yes and no. On the one hand, it is known that personality is far from being something immutable, and the normal thing is that many of its ascetics and their dimensions vary as the subject grows, moving through life. In this sense, the first of the points of view that we have seen here is not correct.

However, it is also known that personality does not depend entirely on context; There are latent psychological traits in each individual that predispose us to behave in one way or another and that, in a certain way, make it possible to predict part of our behavior patterns. Thus, the second point of view is not entirely correct either.

The truth is that personality is, due to the way it has been defined through decades of research in Psychology, a set of stable elements, on the one hand, and dynamic, on the other.

What does it mean to have one type of personality or another?

The most appropriate way to understand personality is to view it as a series of psychological predispositions that make us have more or less incentives to behave in a certain way. The different personality types are formed mainly in the final stage of childhood and the initial stage of adolescence, but from that point on, they normally vary slightly throughout life, and in some cases they change significantly.

However, That does not mean that the range of skills we can learn or actions we can perform is very little varied; Personality types are open enough to give rise to many opportunities to overcome our problems and everything we perceive as personal limitations.

It is not that if someone has an introverted personality they will not be able to do tasks typical of very extraverted people (for example, giving a talk in public), it is that they will not feel as good doing it, or they may have a bad time and not want to repeat the experience. Likewise, if certain conditions are met, someone with a very marked extraversion can also become “functional” by behaving in a similar way to what an introvert would do (for example, reading books without leaving home during a quarantine), but you would have less reason to be actively involved in making that experience spontaneous and fluid.

Note that in both cases, subjects with almost opposite personalities can learn to adapt appropriately to the challenge ahead, but each of them will present very different inclinations in terms of their preferences and abilities. In that way, although They are both capable of doing something that does not fit well with their personality (as long as we are not talking about training processes in elite sports or challenges of that type, in which only the best in each category stand out), what is worth asking is whether it is worth it for them to do so.

Someone extraverted is not born knowing how to speak very well in public, but they have a series of psychological traits that predispose them to learn to function well in those situations, and to expose themselves to them every time they have the opportunity; Likewise, an introvert will have many more opportunities to get involved in philosophical or creative tasks, which involve the management of private and internal psychological processes, so that they will be much less bored when around them “there is nothing to do.”

The difference between creating a new personality and molding the one you already have

With what we have seen, we can now reach a conclusion: if we are very concerned about the issue of whether we can change our personality or whether the personality of someone important to us can change, it is surely because we are focusing the problem incorrectly. What we understand by personalities is really a psychological construct that groups very abstract and adaptable predispositions according to circumstances; However, it is most likely that what we have identified as problematic in a person’s behavior patterns is something quite specific.

For example, not knowing how to manage discussions well is not a personality type in itself, but a problem in itself; It is true that those who have a tendency toward neuroticism in terms of their personality tend to be more likely to react in an excessively hostile manner when they notice that someone does not share their point of view about what to do, but this does not imply that they are mentally programmed to do so. behave like this. Similarly, someone who stands out for being very little neurotic (that is, being at the opposite end of that personality dimension) may have less incentive to express disagreement with something: is that better at managing discussions? It’s debatable.

In short, if you have become obsessed with the idea of ​​​​whether you can change your personality, the best thing you can do is realize that this is a false problem: what you really want to change about yourself is a specific behavioral pattern linked to a class. of situations that are more or less easy to define. Although the personality It usually changes little, and when it does, it is usually not because we have done it deliberately, specific behavioral patterns are quite modifiable, especially if they are intervened through psychotherapy. So, narrow down your goal of change and don’t get frustrated by maintaining a focus that is too general and abstract.

Are you interested in having professional psychological assistance?

If you want to have the help of a psychologist to overcome or face a problem related to mental health or emotional well-being, I invite you to contact me.

Am Javier Ares, General Health Psychologist, and I specialize in the treatment of anxiety, emotional disturbances, and relationship crises. I can assist you in person or through video call sessions.