Meditation is a great ally that helps us achieve a good relationship with our egoic part.
In this sense, the ego is a mental structure created basically to ensure our survival. It is a false personality that appears subtly and, in most situations, it is difficult to detect its appearance.
When we were little we learned that, to receive love, we had to be or act in a specific way. For example, we may have encountered situations where we were told; “If you don’t finish everything on your plate, mom won’t love you.” Words are powerful, and although our family members formulate these types of expressions to promote our growth, they can wreak havoc on our adult lives.
In the previous example we can see how maternal love, which should be unconditional, is conditioned by a behavior that the infant must perform. It is likely that in adulthood we will show altered behaviors in relation to food and that we will repeat this pattern. For example, we can observe the consequences when the adult eats compulsively without leaving a single crumb on the plate to feel worthy of love.
This situation is just an example of the consequences of believing that we are not worthy of love for the mere fact of being There are other cases in which the child learned that, to obtain the approval of his father, he had to be an excellent student, and when he reaches adulthood it is possible that he remains conditioned, to some extent, by the learning that he performed.
These situations are a generator of stress for the person and a breeding ground for frustrating situations to be created for the individual, since they will surely carry out certain actions that are conditioned by the fear of not receiving the love you think you deserve
Another situation that commonly occurs is forcing the infant to be affectionate. For example, suppose that a relative visits the infant’s home and the mother tells the child: “Give your grandmother a kiss. Don’t you want it?”
Observing the message hidden in this phrase, which at first glance seems totally harmless, we will realize that the mother is conditioning the way in which the infant should show love.
Probably, when the child reaches adulthood, he will shower his partner with kisses to show his affection even when he doesn’t really feel like it.
There are no good or bad behaviors, but rather enhancing or limiting ones.
Suppose that any of these situations entails negative consequences for us; then, Detecting the pattern that we learned as children to receive love can be of great help to modify these limiting behaviors.
The authentic personality is camouflaged by this character that we have created, which we obviously need to be able to coexist in society. The key is to find the balance between the mask we use to interact socially and our true essence.
There are people who can become trapped in ego strategies, causing great suffering in their lives. Sometimes we may find ourselves acting incoherently and then it appears an internal struggle between what we believe we should be and what we really consider ourselves to be
Obviously, we should not try to destroy the egoic figure, but rather detect how it works to prevent it from taking control of our lives, since the ego is not really negative, but rather appears to ensure our evolution.
The body retains the same intelligence as the mind, but we tend to identify more with the world of ideas; However, our beliefs do not define us and neither does the life experience we are going through at this moment.
By identifying excessively with the environment or with the thoughts we have, we will be reducing the meaning of our existence We anticipate what may happen in the future to try to prevent any threatening situation and that can generate discomfort associated with the disconnection from our present.
The key is to realize when these thoughts have a negative impact on us, and increase our level of consciousness to be able to return to the present moment whenever we want.
Becoming aware of our entire being involves taking into account the three basic pillars that make it up: the mind, emotions and bodily sensations. While the mind is important, our ideas are no more relevant than the sensory world.
The role of meditation
To live fully and connected to the present, we must start listening to ourselves on a bodily level At first it is normal for thoughts to divert our attention, preventing us from a deeper connection with our being. I suggest that you do this practice that I am going to explain below so that you can experience what I am explaining in an experiential way.
Find a place where you can settle down to begin the next meditation. Take a couple of deep breaths from your stomach and, when you feel ready, begin to notice the position of your body. You do not need to modify its status, simply pay attention to the sensations that appear
Observe if there is tension in any part of your body and also feel its temperature. Now thoughts are becoming clouds that pass in front of you, and you will observe them without giving them importance. Every time a thought appears that takes you away from focus, redirect your attention to some part of your body.
You can help yourself by moving a limb or sliding a hand across your face, this way you distract your mind and return the focus of attention to your body.
Take a few minutes to scan from your feet to your head and close your eyes to encourage connection with your body.
What sensations have you experienced?
This meditation can help you find balance between the three parts that make up your being; the emotional, sensory and mental part.
