Having a full sexual life is decisive for our level of psychological and emotional well-being because although we usually associate sex with physical pleasure, this facet of life also encompasses emotional, cultural and personal factors, being important in the development of our identity and our self-esteem.
That is why sexologists, in clinical practice, see daily how sexuality can be a source of health and well-being, but also of suffering for some individuals who experience negative or painful situations. In a society like ours, unrealistic expectations, often fueled by misinformation or the idealization of porn, can cause problems such as anxiety and depression, as confirmed by several scientific studies.
To counteract this, a tool has now emerged that helps to experience sexual relations from the here and now, without judgment and with an attitude of compassion towards oneself and others: It is about Mindful Sex or sexual Mindfulness In this article I will explain to you what it consists of.
Sex can be a very rewarding and memorable experience, with which you can connect with a person in such a way that it seems that time does not pass through that fusion between the bodies of both loved ones. That moment where the breathing of both of you comes together, where a “state of flow” occurs, time flies and you enjoy every sensation without even thinking about it.
That state, that of good sex, is the maximum expression of Mindfulness or Full Attention, a very popular concept in Psychology that refers to being in the present moment, with full attention and with a level of concentration so high that the sensations are experienced as they are without thinking about them and without judging them.
This relationship between Mindfulness and sex is natural, but when someone loses that naturalness and lets worries, anxiety, irrational beliefs or distorted thoughts enter the bedroom, that is when many problems occur in their sexual life. The solution to prevent that from happening… It’s called Mindful Sex.
What is Mindful Sex?
Mindful Sex is a philosophy similar to Tantra, which in many ways draws on that ancient practice and is perhaps its most modern version. In addition, it has the scientific endorsement of Mindfulness. It can be used both therapeutically to correct problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginismus, or as a sexual education tool to help relate better to sexuality of oneself and with one’s partner. It is also used to help improve sexual experiences, which have a positive impact on one’s well-being and romantic relationships. Nowadays, many workshops are offered where you learn the theory and perform Mindfulness exercises to put them into practice in the sexual field.
To understand what Mindful Sex is, it is necessary to know what Mindfulness consists of and what its benefits are, given that it is an ancient practice that is used in the West thanks to Jon Kabat-Zin, a professor of Medicine at the University of Massachusetts, popularized this philosophy with its Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, and which many psychologists use today in their therapeutic practice, along with Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, more aimed at improving mood.
Mindfulness can also be learned by any individual as a philosophy of life, based on mentally healthy habits, and as a way to live better in today’s society, where people increasingly have difficulties relating to their emotions and live in a context of immediacy, since we are constantly connected to new technologies in a globalized world. This practice is a good way to stop and enjoy the present instead of living on autopilot trapped by the madness of modern societies.
The implications of Mindfulness in well-being and emotional balance
Mindfulness allows you to develop full awareness in the here and now without judging the experience, emotions, or thoughts, simply seeing them from a more objective perspective and accepting them as they are. Its implications for well-being are many: it reduces stress and anxiety, allows us to be more realistic, enjoys greater enjoyment of the experiences we live, improves concentration and memory and improves productivity at work or in sports, allows us to have better relationships. healthy, helps overcome insomnia, etc.
The good thing is that Mindfulness can be learned through training over several weeks, just like Mindful Sex, which, in short, consists of applying Mindfulness in the area of sexuality and sexual practice.
Although Mindfulness is often confused with meditation, they are not the same Meditation, especially Vipassana, is a useful resource for developing Mindfulness, but there are other non-meditative exercises that are also useful for this purpose.
Benefits of Mindful Sex
Mindful Sex also positively influences people’s lives for different reasons.
1. Generates spaces of intimacy for the couple
Since sexual Mindfulness It is based on principles such as non-judgment and compassion towards oneself and others, allows you to have healthier relationships and see sex without taboos. This is key because it improves communication and each member of the couple can fully enjoy their sexuality, creating a greater connection between both actors in a loving relationship.
2. Reduces stress, anxiety and helps overcome sexual problems
The non-judgmental, present-focused mindset characteristic of Sexual Mindfulness has a great effect on people’s mental health. Many sexual problems come from anxiety and irrational expectations about sex and sexuality and with Mindful Sex there is no space to think more than necessary, only to feel and live in the here and now.
3. Allows you to explore more pleasurable sexual situations
Mindful Sex, as I have already mentioned, is based on the principle of non-judgment, which is equal to Mental opening This means that there are no limits in sexual relations and sexual moments are experienced with greater pleasure.
4. Improves sexual experience and orgasm
As with Tantra, Mindful Sex improves the sexual experience because It does not focus on achieving orgasm, but on having greater concentration to live the experience fully making use of all the senses to perceive with greater intensity caresses, kisses, the touch of fingers… Paradoxically, focusing on the senses helps not to think about anything else (reduces anxiety or eliminates expectations) and to have more sexual experiences. pleasurable and greater orgasms.
5. It is key to living a fuller life
Having a fuller sexual life is essential to enjoy greater well-being and better self-esteem In part this is because couples with an active sexual life enjoy greater satisfaction in their romantic relationship, which has an impact on life in general.
I’m Emily Williams Jones, a psychologist specializing in mental health with a focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. With a Ph.D. in psychology, my career has spanned research, clinical practice and private counseling. I’m dedicated to helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression and trauma by offering a personalized, evidence-based approach that combines the latest research with compassionate care.
