That sixth sense that warns us that something is not right, the feeling that something is happening with your partner, the pain of a thousand needles piercing your chest when the deception is confirmed… And the denial, to which we first clung, It is now your partner’s shield. Experiencing infidelity can be a devastating experience, but if, on top of the fact that he is cheating on you, he does not recognize it, the drama can reach unsuspected magnitudes. And in this situation, many of us ask ourselves “what do I do?” In this PsychologyFor article, My husband is cheating on me and doesn’t recognize it, what do I do? we will advise you on what to do if your partner is unfaithful to you.
How to act if you think your partner is cheating on you
When we are with a person we begin to know them better, to know what they like, what annoys them, how they interact with the world, how they react to certain topics, etc. The more we know her, the easier it is for us to detect strange, unusual behaviors in her, and often the first thing that comes to mind is that the reason for such behaviors is because she is deceiving us.
In this situation, where we are not sure what is happening, we must avoid making some mistakes like looking at your cell phone or rummaging through your things, since that is invade your privacy and anything we could find we could wrongly relate to infidelity. This is due to confirmation biasby which our inductive reasoning tends to interpret information in a way that favors our beliefs or hypotheses. Nor should we accuse him directly without being sure, we would only make him defensive and increase tension and hostility in the relationship.
The best way to proceed if you think your partner is cheating on you is to establish a dialogue with her His unusual behavior may be due to some problem of his, something that embarrasses him, etc. So let him know in the most serene and assertive way possible that lately you notice that he is behaving strangely and that it worries you, that he can tell you anything and that you are there to support him. You may be surprised by her response.
My partner cheats on me and denies it
There are many reasons why your partner denies his affair. Here are some:
- Fear of the consequences Just because your partner has had sex outside of your relationship without your knowledge or consent does not mean that he has stopped loving you. You can deny it for fear of losing you , that you decide to end the relationship, that you no longer speak to him, etc. It is not strange to hear “my husband or wife is cheating on me but he doesn’t want to leave me.”
- Culpability Denial is a defense mechanism, and in this case you may feel so guilty that all you can do for the moment is deny your facts.
- Pride For not agreeing with you, for not giving in. She has denied your accusation once and to back down now would hurt her pride too much.
- Avoid quarrel Although denying it is not the most effective method, you may think that if you confirm it the scene of the century will be created and you are afraid or simply do not want to put up with it.
- Preserve your image Being unfaithful is something frowned upon and socially punished. Adulterous seems to be synonymous with untrustworthy and, in addition to this, she may want to avoid reproaches, glances and whispers around her.
What to do if my partner cheats on me and doesn’t recognize it
What should I do if my husband cheats on me? If you are sure that your partner is unfaithful to you, you have tried to talk to them about it and they do not recognize it, there are several things you can do depending on your desire to maintain the relationship or not:
In the event that deception is a red line for you, that the betrayal of your trust hurts too much and you feel like you can’t continue with that person, you know what you have to do. Prolonging it is prolonging unnecessary suffering. Breakups are also overcome, and by closing that chapter of your life you can start a new one.
If, on the other hand, you think you can still fix it, it is essential that you can talk about it. The first step is to admit it , and to do this it can help to establish a space of trust in which you let him know that he can express himself without fear and that your intention is to reach a solution to the matter. It is also possible that he needs his time and space to tell you such a thing. After he has admitted it, and you are both clear that you want to continue with the relationship, you have to talk about how you feel , what do you expect from the other, how do you want your relationship to continue, etc. One option could be to consider one of the non-monogamous forms of relationships, such as polyamory. In any case, in these situations the help from a specialist It’s always good, attending couples therapy can be the best option to fix your situation.
What to say to your partner when he or she has been unfaithful to you
Discovering infidelity can be an extremely painful moment, especially because the person we blindly trusted, to whom we had given everything, has broken the pact, betraying all the faith we had placed in them. During those moments of agitation it is very easy to yell things we didn’t really mean or make decisions we later regret.
How can I tell my wife that I know she is cheating on me? The best thing to do, after discovering a deception, is take the time you need Reflect on how you feel, on your relationship and on what you want to say to your partner. It can help write a letter to put your ideas in order and see if you really say what you want to express. Then, as calmly as possible, Let your partner know all your thoughts to From there, see how he responds and, if you can, make a decision about what to do from now on.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My husband is cheating on me and doesn’t recognize it, what do I do? we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.