If you feel that your partner stresses you out, this could be due to several reasons based on the dynamics of coexistence that you usually overlook. Among these possibilities, it may be that you are going through some very difficult moments on a personal level or also because we both have very different personalities, which means that we are in confrontation quite frequently.
This stress could also be due to the fact that we are more likely to become overwhelmed in our current relationship because we had had negative romantic experiences in the past. Whatever the case, it is advisable to analyze the situation carefully in order to find the root of these problems and thus be able to seek a solution through different measures.
In this article We will talk about the most common reasons why our partner could stress us out, what consequences it has for our health and how we could deal with it
My partner stresses me out: possible causes
It is quite common to find people around us who feel that they are trapped in a “toxic” relationship because their partner overwhelms them for various reasons and that is why they can become quite stressed, and it is common to hear them say phrases like “my partner stresses me out.” ” or “lately he has been complaining about everything and this causes us to argue more than usual and many times over things that are not that important”, “you are having a hard time reaching a mutual understanding”, or “my partner does not give me my own space” .
It should be noted that If your partner stresses you out, this does not necessarily mean that we are in a toxic relationship but sometimes it can be due to something temporary and that by doing everyone’s part, trying to improve communication so that there is mutual understanding, this situation can be resolved, so that we can once again have a healthy romantic relationship.
If your partner stresses you out This could be due to multiple reasons, many of them even unrelated to the relationship (e.g., that you are going through a bad time at work) or it may even be that it is not our partner’s fault that we are stressed and in reality the reason is that we are the ones who are not being tolerant and understanding of our partner . In any case, we will see below what are the most common causes for us to find ourselves overwhelmed and stressed by our partners and later we will explain some tips to manage this situation.
Among the most frequent causes, the following should be highlighted.
Consequences of your partner causing you stress
If your partner stresses you, normally that developed stress is not something that is generated from one day to the next, but rather It is usually something that develops progressively over a period of time until it reaches a point where we can no longer do so and the slightest incident could cause us to feel overwhelmed.
Our partner could stress us out for a variety of reasons, including because he or she is dealing with a problem on a personal level (e.g., having a bad time at work), or because of various relationship factors ( e.g., strong emotional dependence), also because we both have quite shocking personalities, we have a lack of communication or because of the way our partner is.
In cases like this, various quite harmful consequences can occur, such as the following, starting to talk about one of the consequences that can occur if my partner stresses me out for a long time, which could be that we stop enjoying doing various activities with our partner or even in solitude that we previously found pleasurable, so we might also have begun to experience fewer positive emotions when we are with our partner.
If this situation occurs over a long period of time we could develop coldness at the emotional level , so that we feel quite alone in our partner when we consider that our partner is not supporting us and that there is a lack of understanding; either on his part or even on both of them.
Furthermore, if this state of stress is maintained for a longer time, it can affect our cognitive performance, so that our attention levels decrease, our memory is not at full capacity, we are not able to think with the clarity of before and it could also happen that we experience anxiety symptoms when we are with our partner, that we have become more irascible, hypervigilant, restless, less empathetic and communicative.
In this case It could happen that everything worries us, that anything makes us feel upset and that we find ourselves worn out both physically and psychologically, so it would be very important that we remedy it, starting by talking to our partner to try to resolve the situation mutually and, if necessary, seek professional help from a couples therapist.
What can I do if my partner stresses me out?
The first thing is to analyze the situation, without trying to blame anyone for what is happening and do a self-reflection exercise to understand the specific reasons why I feel stressed , and also to analyze if there are factors external to the relationship that are causing this situation, such as our partner going through some complicated and stressful situation on a personal level. Likewise, it is very important that there is open communication and that I explain to my partner what is happening to me.
Below we will mention relevant aspects that must be taken into account to handle this situation. If my partner stresses me out, these are some of the guidelines that I should take into account when managing the discomfort that what is happening is causing me:
1. Open communication
Once the self-reflection exercise has been completed and the situation has been analyzed, the appropriate thing to do is to talk to the other person about what is happening to me and find out their point of view on the matter, since it is possible that those behaviors that are stressful to us are not do with the intention of overwhelming us.
Besides, It is important that there is open communication between both from assertiveness respecting each other’s point of view, so that we can trust each other, thus feeling that we can tell the couple what we believe is necessary, openly, and vice versa.
In this sense, it is also convenient to provide that person with support in case they are going through a bad time, just as it would be the most normal thing for them to support us when we are the ones who are having a bad time.
2. Emotional independence and respect for the individual space of each member of the couple
If my partner stresses me out, one of the guidelines I should take into account when managing this situation would be learn to manage that emotional dependency either on my part, in the event that I am the one who feels that dependence, talk openly with my partner and explain the importance that each of us must respect the personal space of the other in the event that it is our partner who has that strong dependence on us.
It could also be the case that we both have a strong emotional dependence on our partner, so it would be advisable to try to analyze the situation together to try to understand how it is affecting our mental health and, from that, try to seek greater independence. emotional, so that we are both able to spend time without each other and respect each other’s personal space without having to control our partner and that we can enjoy with our family, friends or even alone doing things that we love. like.
In this point, Mobile phones and social networks play an important role , since when there is a strong emotional dependence between one or both members of the couple, the cell phone can be a weapon of destruction because it can cause us to be continually connected with our partner at times when we do not have them present and use social networks to control what they do at all times and to know who they are with, which will cause us to suffer anxiety and increase stress. Therefore, it is important to also have a healthy relationship through mobile phones.
- Related article: “The 7 keys to having a healthy relationship”
3. Learn to manage your own stress and develop self-care
If my partner stresses me out, it is essential that we learn to manage that stress through various guidelines, and it is very important that we develop a self-care routine (get enough sleep so that rest is restful, do regular physical exercise, stay active, prioritize a diet based on healthy foods, etc.).
Between the guidelines we can follow to manage our own stress There are those that we are going to list below:
- Establish priorities and try to stay focused on them, avoiding obsessing over worries.
- Follow an organization in our daily lives so that our tasks do not overwhelm us.
- Practice meditation and/or mindfulness (with the help of a professional or with applications designed for this).
- Try to stay in touch with trusted people who can provide us with support.
- Practice activities that we find pleasurable (yoga, reading, listening to music, going out with friends, etc.).
- Save time to do activities with our partner that are interesting for both of us.
- Seek the help of a psychologist to help us train a series of techniques for stress management.
4. Seek the help of a professional expert in couples therapy
A highly recommended alternative to take into account, which can be complementary to the others if your partner stresses me out, is that we seek the help of a professional, be it a psychologist, psychiatrist or sexologist who has experience in couples therapy so that he can help us understand the situation we are going through from a different and impartial point of view, and also so that he can help us work on the necessary strategies to resolve it.