My Relationship Is No Longer Working: What Do I Do?
The relationship you have with your partner is extremely important in the life of every person who has one since your partner is the one you normally live with most of the time, especially if you live with them and the relationship does not exist. It is only a couple but you also have a friend, confidant and lover by your side. So if right now you are hesitating whether your relationship works well or not surely you have been feeling uncomfortable in it and you are not having a good time at all.
But really, how can you know if your relationship is working? In this PsychologyFor article, we are going to give you some advice if the following doubt is in your head: “My relationship is no longer working, what do I do?”
Before going on to present some indicators that can help you know if your relationship is really working or not, you need to take into account a series of issues that you may probably be overlooking. Below, we give you the main explanations to know when a relationship doesn’t work
Problems and disagreements are part of the relationship
In a relationship, it may be that, especially at the beginning, everything is “rosy”, the two get along wonderfully and there is no type of problem or misunderstanding between them. However, as time goes by, you get to know the person as a whole and the relationship begins to deepen, it is perfectly normal for some conflicts to arise.
The strange thing would be if they never had disagreements or any kind of problem since you cannot think exactly the same as the other person. The important thing is not to avoid problems but to learn together to solve them to do better each time. If you argue a lot with your partner over trivial things, it is important that you try to talk and resolve the conflict.
The level of infatuation has decreased
After having overcome the stage of falling in love in a relationship where the famous butterflies appear in the stomach, the other person is perceived as the coolest person in the world, the sexual desire that is experienced for the other is unbridled, among others. symptoms of falling in love
After time, we move to the stage of purest and most sincere love That is, now the person is perceived as he is with his defects and virtues, one feels calm and not so much excitement when seeing the person, the sexual desire decreases so it is no longer exaggerated as before, etc. However, you still have the desire to be with that person since you accept them as they are and love becomes something more conscious and not so emotional. So there is a possibility that right now you are going through this new stage and this is causing confusion for you.
Monotony
It often happens that couples fall into a fairly monotonous cycle and surprise and novelty no longer exist in the relationship. This does not always mean that the love has ended or that the relationship has stopped working, but that they simply need to experience some changes in routine that can give the relationship a turn and thus leave the comfort zone.
How do I know if my relationship is no longer working?
Next, I will mention which are the main signs you can take into account to really know if your relationship is working or not. Keep in mind that each situation is different and these indicators are only so that you can get a better idea about it, but they cannot determine with complete fidelity that your relationship is not really working.
Lack of interest. You have been noticing for some time that the interest you have in your partner or that your partner has in you is becoming less and less, to the point that right now you feel that he or she is totally or almost totally indifferent to you in every way. That is, for example, you may not care if your partner feels good or bad, you do not want to spend time with him or she with you and on the contrary you avoid him or her, he or she has become last on your list of priorities or your hers, etc. That is, you feel that one or both of you don’t care whether they continue the relationship or not. If you want more advice, we recommend this article to know what to do if your partner is distant.
Problems and differences without solution. When you notice that right now you have reached the point that you really don’t care or your partner doesn’t care as much as before about trying to solve their problems. You feel that the differences that exist between you have surpassed you and you are not interested in looking after the other person’s well-being.
Toxicity. When there has been a high level of toxicity in the couple for quite some time that has not been able to be resolved. By toxicity I mean that, for example, one or both of them is constantly trying to exert control over the other, that there has never been trust in the partner, continually experiencing a lack of personal freedom and finding themselves increasingly emotionally exhausted in the company of the other person.
Feeling of being limited. Another important indicator to know if your relationship is not working is that you feel limited either because your partner is preventing you or trying to prevent you from doing the things you really want all the time (or on the contrary that you do it to them). to her), that you have the feeling that you cannot make your own decisions because your partner always interferes with them or vice versa and in short, that one or both of you is experiencing the constant feeling of overwhelm and lack of understanding on the part of the other.
Avoid their company. You, your partner, or both may constantly avoid their company and prefer to share your time with other people. They even have the feeling that in order to have a good time together they always need a third party so they don’t get bored.
Totally different ideas and expectations. The fact of having life plans and objectives in common with your partner is a fundamental pillar that must exist in any good relationship since it is an indicator that both are heading towards the same path and feel comfortable with it. However, when this does not happen, there is a significant imbalance in the couple. An example of this may be that your partner wants to have children and you don’t or vice versa.
My relationship is not working, what do I do?
When a relationship is not going well, it is normal for us to feel worried and we strive to make it as satisfactory as possible.
If you still have doubts about how to approach this situation, it is recommended that you go to a couples therapist so that they can recommend couples therapy exercises and techniques appropriate to your personal case.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My relationship is no longer working: what do I do? we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.
