Narcissistic Triangulation: How to Recognize This Form of Manipulation?

Triangulation is an attitude that can go unnoticed. But, in many cases, people can use this to manipulate those around them. Find out how.

When we talk about narcissistic triangulation, we refer to a form of manipulation that is used as a way to control a situation. This dynamic implies that when two people disagree, they look for a third person who becomes involved in the discussion or problem. While these situations can occur naturally, when this happens intentionally, it can be a manipulation tactic. But how can we detect these situations?

What is triangulation?

Triangulation is a emotional manipulation tactic in which one person who is in an argument with another person tries to attract a third person to change the dynamic. In many cases, this type of manipulation is usually unconscious because, in many cases, it can be uncomfortable for many people to be immersed in a conflict. Therefore, the objective of triangulation is precisely to tip the balance of an argument.

What is narcissistic triangulation?

Narcissistic triangulation refers to this form of manipulation that is done on purpose and with a specific intention. People with narcissistic personality disorder may very commonly use triangulation to try to get a person to think or act the way they want.

Examples of narcissistic triangulation

Depending on the relationship we have with the person with a narcissistic disorder they can use triangulation for the following purposes:

1. Narcissistic triangulation in parents and children: When the narcissistic relationship occurs between parents and children, it is very likely that it is used to ‘buy’ the love of their child and make the other parent have a worse image or make them feel bad. In many cases, this type of attitude is often used to try to get the other parent to do things the way they want. Some examples may be: offering treats that the other parent does not allow the child, or ignoring the other parent’s reasonable rules and limits, refusing to communicate directly with the child, and using the child to obtain information, among others.
2. Narcissistic triangulation in families: Triangulation can also occur within families, which can make the family environment toxic. The narcissistic family member will use different manipulation techniques to try to control their entire family. Some examples may be: parents who compare her two children to make one child feel bad, since he does not behave as they wanted, a mother-in-law who makes her son choose between her and her partner, etc.
3. Narcissistic triangulation in couples: This type of manipulation is usually very common within a relationship. In fact, a narcissist may use this type of situation to ensure that their partner does what they want. Some examples of this type of triangulation could be involving a mutual friend in an argument knowing that he will take her side.
4. Narcissistic triangulation in the workplace: It is typical that in a workplace with a toxic environment there is someone who has this type of attitude. This type of attitude can involve trying to manipulate through interactions with other coworkers. Some examples of this type of manipulation can be saying compromising things in front of the boss to get a better position in front of him.
5. Narcissistic triangulation in friendships: A narcissist can also do this type of dynamic to control their own friendships. Some examples of this may be trying to seek praise to show superiority to someone.

Primarily, people with a narcissistic disorder may use these manipulation techniques as a way to keep control l faced with a situation.

How to respond to a narcissistic triangulation?

If someone around you is treating you with this type of manipulation, it is important that you try to set limits before this can harm you. Some ways you can stop this type of behavior are:

• Have a direct conversation: Although it may seem difficult, this is the best way to approach a narcissistic triangulation Telling them directly that you feel this is not an attitude that benefits the relationship can help the person understand what may not be good for your relationship.
• Have a support: If a person is spreading lies or gossip to devalue you to others, it’s worth making the effort to set the record straight. To do this, it is important that you go to the people who you know have this information and tell them that you think someone may have said something about you and deny it.
• Set limits: It may not always work for you. prevent narcissistic triangulation In fact, even if you cut ties with someone, nothing stops a person from talking about you to other people. Even so, you can always set limits, such as saying something that is bothering you out loud and clearly.

If you feel difficulties to deal with this type of behavior, it is important that you consult with a professional psychologist. In many cases, these types of attitudes can reduce your self-esteem or even harm your mental health.