Peter Pan Syndrome refers to those adults who continue to behave like children or adolescents without being able to take responsibility for their actions and adult life. They are people who refuse to grow up with a marked emotional immaturity tinged with strong insecurity and a great fear of not being loved and accepted by others.
In this article we will see what the concept of Peter Pan Syndrome consists of, as explained by Dan Kiley.
The Peter Pan are the eternal youngwho ignore the demands of the real world by hiding in a fantasy world in his country of never ever. Trapped in it, they cannot develop the roles they have to assume, such as that of father, partner or professional, as expected in adulthood. They can be recognized because many of them may resist becoming independent from their parents, maintain superficial and uncommitted emotional relationships, or may not quite find their place in the world of work. Like the well-known character of JM Barrie they fly continuously looking for adventure but feel unable to stop their flight and achieve stability in real life.
This resistance to growth, more common in men than in women was defined by the American psychologist Dan Kiley in 1983, and it is an increasingly frequent problem, since sociologically this disorder is becoming more and more chronic as a consequence of capitalist society and immediacy, in which every day things are achieved with less effort and without the need for commitment. , and in which we consume to fill the emotional gaps. All of this brings us immediate, but ephemeral, pleasure.
Thus, in Peter Pan Syndrome there is a tension between the lifestyle linked to childhood, on the one hand, and the demands linked to adulthood, a stage characterized by the need to assume responsibilities and achieve long-term goals. The prospect of leaving behind a way of life based on play and immediacy is very hard for some people. who in certain cases resist embracing that emotionally mature way of life that goes beyond egocentrism and the “here and now.”
People who suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome may appear carefree and happy, as they live by the maxim of Carpe Diembut when you dig a little into their life or person, feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction emerge, accompanied by personal dependence, since they need another person at their side who satisfies their needs and makes them feel protected. This person who is in charge of satisfying you is generally the parents, older siblings or the partner.
Consequences of Peter Pan Syndrome
The consequences of PPS give rise to important emotional alterations s, high levels of anxiety and sadness which can lead to depression. They also feel little fulfilled with his life, since by not taking responsibility for his actions they do not feel his achievements as their own (internal locus of control) which has a direct impact on the individual’s self-esteem.
Additionally, people with PPS generally they feel misunderstood and it is difficult for them to realize their problem and they ignore that they suffer from it until some critical situation occurs and they realize that their way of behaving and facing the world is not effective or is anomalous compared to that of the rest of their peers.
At a relational level, difficulties also arise due to lack of commitment and great demands on others. Generally, the Peter Pan person seems self-confident, even to the point of appearing arrogant, but as we have mentioned before, low self-esteem hides behind it. He enjoys many personal qualities such as creativity and ingenuity and is generally a good professional. In addition, he strives to arouse the admiration and recognition of the people around him. But although socially they may be leaders appreciated for their ability to have fun and liven up the environment, in private they display their demanding, intolerant and distrustful side. So it could be summed up with the phrase: “a leader outside and a tyrant at home “.
At the level of love relationships Many of them are singles who become ladies’ men due to their great capacity for seduction, and they go from one relationship to another constantly. Those who have a partner can create superficial relationships, spending years without committing much. Many fit the “Dark Triad” profile.
The boy who effortlessly goes from being the object of his mother’s affection to that of his companion or wife is also a candidate to act as Peter Pan. In this case, since he is never alone, he does not learn to take charge of his life.
Signs of Peter Pan Syndrome
In order to finish recognizing Peter Pan I will present the most characteristic signs:
Causes of Peter Pan Syndrome
Peter Pan syndrome, like most psychological phenomena, is surely due to the effect of multiple factors, such as dependent or avoidant personality traits, coping style, or educational patterns but it seems that the one that has the most weight in this imbalance is the life history of one’s own childhood; a very happy and carefree childhood that can be idealized by the person with PPS or, on the contrary, very unhappy and without affection.
In the first case, the syndrome seeks to perpetuate the happy moments living in a constant childhood that refuses to overcome, while in the second the function of the syndrome is recover the stolen childhood through the freedom that being an adult grants.
“Maturate”: redefining the concept
Growing as a person is part of the natural development of human beings, but that does not mean that it is easy. Being an adult requires deciding to grow and adopt values ​​and goals in life. It also requires giving up some things to achieve the goal, taking responsibility for one’s own mistakes and tolerating frustration every day.
Maturing does not mean losing the child within us Not letting him out occasionally makes people too rigid, but we must not let the child dominate and hinder the adult’s life, as in the case of Peter Pan. A relationship of understanding and affection between the adult and the child is essential. the inner child, since successfully maturing consists of manage to maintain a balance between both parts of the person.
‘Wendy Syndrome’ also exists
Where there is a Peter Pan there is a Wendy. Do you want to know what is the Wendy’s personality profile ? We explain it to you in the following article:
“Wendy syndrome: people who need the approval of others”
