The polygamy It is a type of marriage that, although it is rare in territories where Western culture predominates, is present in millions of families around the world.
Its most common type, polygynyis one in which the man has more than two wives, while the polyandryin which the woman has several husbands, is much rarer.
However, the fact that so many people live in polygamous families does not mean that this type of marriage is free of drawbacks. In fact, there are reasons to think that polygamy poses some very significant problems
Polygamy lived through women
Experts such as Rana Raddawi, from the University of Sharjah, believe that women who live in polygamous families in which a husband has several wives become involved in a dynamic in their relationships with serious emotional consequences for their well-being.
Based on a study based on past surveys of women who lived in polygyny, Raddawi observed how the feelings of strong abandonment and jealousy were much higher than expected That is to say, the fact that her husband also had other wives to interact with made the management of her time and certain resources a problem.
Related article: “The types of jealousy and their different characteristics”
Little effectiveness of the rules on polygamy
In many cultures**, polygamy associated with Islam is regulated by certain religious norms** designed, in principle, so that marriage between a man and several women does not cause problems or major shocks. However, these behavioral guidelines do not have to be applied or may not have the desired effect, and this is precisely what Raddawi found.
Many of the women she studied stated that their husbands fail to fulfill the roles expected of them as husbands. Among other things, They tended to report that men did not spend enough time with them and that they did not fulfill their financial responsibilities to provide the family with the money necessary to support itself.
The consequences of polygamy for children
Rana Raddawi’s research focused on the way in which women experienced polygamy and the emotional impact it had on them, but it can be assumed that the impact of this way of life also affects many other people, for better or worse. worse. It is worth asking, for example, about the boys and girls who grow up in polygamous families Is this group harmed? It seems so, according to one of the most ambitious studies on the subject.
This is a research promoted by Sisters in Islam, based on some 1,500 questionnaires with quantitative and qualitative parts passed to women residing in Malaysia. Among its results are many of the feelings of abandonment found by Raddawi, although this time in boys and girls.
For example, a significantly large portion of sons and daughters reported feeling abandoned when their father married a new wife. Likewise, as the number of wives and children increased, the scarcity of available resources had a negative impact on the children: basically, lack of affection and attention.
For example, around 60% of the sons and daughters of the first marriage showed sadness or anger upon learning about his father’s upcoming second marriage. Furthermore, boys and girls belonging to families in which 10 or more sons and daughters had been conceived tended to say that their parents had problems remembering which of their wives they were born to. About 90% of the children surveyed said that, based on their experiences, they would avoid entering into a polygamous marriage when they grew up.
Other negative consequences
As the mother is the only member of the family with whom the children have continuous contact**, it is to be expected that the children’s relationship with them will be very different**.
However, polygamy seems to have negative consequences in this sense as well, since Boys and girls tend to blame their mothers for not knowing or being able to get their father’s attention That is, they perceive them as the cause of the abandonment they experience.
Taking into account the context
Before jumping to conclusions about the advantages and disadvantages of polygamy, an important fact must be taken into account: Research on this topic is limited by definition n, since there are too many polygamous families to study them all; But, furthermore, many of the problems associated with polygamy do not have to be due to polygamy itself. They may be produced by the use of polygamy in specific contexts.
For example, it is possible that in a very rich society polygamy would not be experienced in the same way, especially if parents have enough resources to dedicate all the hours they need to their families.
But also, We must keep in mind that it is difficult to interpret the results of this study without knowing well the cultures in which it has been studied through them Cultural bias is always there, and reading reports can make us somewhat wiser, but not enough to give us greater ability to judge the polygamous life than those who live it directly.