Projection: Why Do We Blame Others For Our Defects?
What is the projection defense mechanism? Why do we usually see our defects in others? Discover why we project ourselves onto others according to psychology.
Have you ever heard someone tell you to stop projecting your feelings on them? The projection in psychology It involves taking those traits or attributes that we don’t like about ourselves and attributing them to other people. Many people have these types of attitudes unconsciously because they do not realize that they are really doing it. But why do people make projections on others?
When we talk about the psychological projection We are referring to a defense mechanism, that is, a verbal response that is used to evade our conflicts or the stress we suffer. When someone uses these mechanisms, he is trying to avoid any threat that comes from outside.
He projection defense mechanism It’s about labeling your fears and insecurities on another person other than yourself. For example, you can tell a friend that he is overeating because you suffer from anxiety binge eating. At the moment that we are projecting these internal problems, what we intend is to protect ourselves from those truths that are uncomfortable for us.
In the majority of cases where a defense mechanism such as projection, people often feel upset with others for no apparent reason. So much so that it is very common not to be able to identify when someone is projecting or when their feelings towards others really make sense.
In the same way that happens with others defense mechanisms, projection Try to keep those discomforts at bay on ourselves and out of our consciousness. According to psychologists, people use different types of projections for the following reasons.
Lack of self-knowledge: When a person performs a negative projection towards others, but fails to realize that she is seeing a defect of hers in others, it is very likely that she evades her self-knowledge or does not seek to know herself more.
Inferiority complex: When we project our defects onto others a lot, it usually happens that people feel inferior to the person they are with. projecting
Low self-esteem: Low self-esteem can also be one of the reasons why people use projection with others. In this way, they try not to accept their defects and they project them in other people. This is because they have a hard time tolerating or experiencing negative things towards themselves.
In many cases, when we recognize that we use psychological projection in our lives it is a sign that there is something wrong inside us. If you recognize yourself in this type of attitude, you can work on it with a professional psychologist.
Why don’t we detect the projections we make?
In order to identify a projection, people must admit that they are really wrong. When someone commits a negative projection, admitting that they are wrong can be a hard blow to both our integrity and our self-esteem. Mainly, people tend to deny projections for the following reasons.
We are on the defensive: Most people tend to have a defensive attitude when faced with the problems that arise. Therefore, in many cases if someone identifies that we are carrying out a projection it is very normal for him to defend himself against accusations.
Pride: Our personal reputation is important for our self-esteem. Therefore, when someone has a low perception of themselves and they detect a negative projection towards others, this ends up hurting their pride.
Fear of the anger of others: If we admit that we are wrong, others may become angry with our attitude towards this psychological projection This is why people try to avoid admitting it.
It is very common for people to use the projection defense mechanism in very specific situations. Among the most common are the following.
Discussions: Discussions are usually an ideal breeding ground for using psychological projection The reason for this is that when there is a conflictive environment, emotions take more control of our actions, something that encourages us to have more tendency towards mental projection.
Intimidation: People who tend to bully or pick on others tend to use the projection In many cases, this reflects the insecurity of the person doing it.
Culpability: In some cases, such as when infidelities occur, the person who made the mistake tends to project their state of guilt onto the partner.
How to deal with someone who is projecting?
If you feel that someone around you is projecting their defects in you, the first thing is to try not to listen to what the person who is accusing you tells you.
First it is vital to try to understand if you can talk to the person. If you think they are a person open to change, you can talk to them about the projection in a moment of tranquility. However, if on the other hand it is someone who is closed off, it is better to try to avoid encounters with them. If you see that this is affecting you, you can always go to a professional psychologist.
How to avoid a negative projection?
In most cases, people use mental projection in an unconscious way. Thus, being aware that we are using projection can be difficult. Psychologists recommend the following actions to identify and avoid it.
Self-awareness: Take time to reflect or think about why you behave this way with that person. It is normal that when you have this topic in mind, feelings of rejection come to you, but it is important to try to delve deeper into the reasons for this.
Ask for other people’s opinions: Ask an outsider if they really think you’re using the projection before others. By asking a friend or family member, we can get information from them because we can do it.
Assume your responsibilities: The projection In many cases it is used to avoid assuming our responsibilities for the defects we have. Therefore, the first step is to be aware of them and start working on accepting ourselves.
Work your interior: The projections They are done because we do not feel quite good about ourselves. For this reason, inner work must be one of our top priorities.
As we have pointed out, the projection It usually happens because we are not right with ourselves. If you want to work on these feelings, it is always necessary to go to a professional psychologist. Never blame others for what is your responsibility.
