Psychological Profile Of The Unfaithful Person, In 5 Broad Features
The unfaithful person, in addition to being usually represented in art forms that rely on drama (he is one of the favorite characters in the annals of literature, cinema, television and all the arts where the heart can cry its sorrows) , exists far beyond fiction and is not limited to a few isolated cases.
Currently, and despite the fact that monogamy is the predominant model in much of the planet, infidelity is at the center of Western families, since every day there are more cases of couples or marriages that are affected and that enter into crisis due to this phenomenon.
However, when we talk about unfaithful people we are referring to individuals who tend to commit infidelities systematically, not as an exception but as a rule. We’ll see now the behavioral patterns and psychological profile of the unfaithful person in addition to some clearly external factors that affect from the environment to the individual.
What is the psychological profile of the unfaithful person?
As we have seen, the unfaithful person is an individual accustomed to having relationships that break with the basic norms on which the couple is based. Now… what is it that makes their relationships so unstable and with such blurred boundaries? At the center of this issue is the way in which the unfaithful person manage attachment with others
A study developed by the University of Florida determined that the unfaithful person has the tendency to develop a form of attachment called “insecure attachment.” This theory ensures that the primary relationships established with parents and caregivers during childhood and the first years of life decisively influence the relationships established in adult life. And it seems that all its manifestations are related to the profile of the unfaithful person.
According to John Bowlby’s (1907-1990) attachment theory, those people who have developed insecure attachment usually present the following characteristics in adulthood, depending on the type of affection and primary relationships under which they have developed their attachment. We encounter three types of unfaithful people:
1. Anxious attachment
Adults who exhibit this type of attachment are more sensitive to rejection and anxiety, have deficiencies in controlling their impulses and constant dissatisfaction. Likewise, they fear being rejected by their romantic partner, and it is for this reason that they enter into relationships constantly and impulsively, seeking approval.
Some research in psychology indicates that unfaithful people are also usually the most jealous , a question that basically reveals a great inferiority complex and a weak self-esteem that needs to be reaffirmed by liking other people and very frequently. Curious, right?
2. Avoidant attachment
These types of individuals have learned to give less importance to their emotional expressions. In other words, They are people who appear colder and they will have a tendency to remain more distant, so their relationships will be less deep, or they will be given less emotional charge. They constantly present avoidant behaviors, high levels of hostility and aggressiveness, and for them being unfaithful will not have the same emotional weight as for ordinary people. In short, high rates of negative interactions with your partner will appear.
3. Disorganized attachment
These people do not enter into a relationship with sufficient security and conviction, and They tend to display unpredictable and poorly organized behavior If necessary, they are not very understanding, and it will be extremely difficult for them to be understood by their counterpart. The characteristics of this type of personality in terms of their emotional relationship will contribute to it having little continuity.
What other factors lead to infidelity
As we have previously commented, the psychological profile of the unfaithful person is highly complex, and there is no single definition or cause that classifies or identifies them as such. Apart from the three major Bowlby labels, there are many other factors that reveal the psychological profile of the unfaithful which we will detail below:
Those who tend to make risky decisions or show a heightened sense of adventure , are more likely to be unfaithful compared to people who are more fearful. It is very likely that there is a genetic component involved in risky behaviors, since the mere fact of being unfaithful includes a component of high possibility of failure.
2. The power
It is one of the most influential and definitive characteristics. People in a position of power are extremely likely to be unfaithful Power increases one’s confidence and self-esteem, which leads individuals to act in a more assertive and extraverted manner. The powerful are more likely to make direct eye contact, stand with confident poses (body language), and present themselves as a potential lover.
3. Sexual desire
Sexual desire varies from person to person. The levels of libido They have a genetic component that is difficult to control. Some individuals have a high interest in sex while other people project less interest in the matter. Being a purely physical component, some people are inherently easier to be led by their sexual desire.
In this specific case, men tend to have a higher sex drive which leads them to lead the charge of purely sexual and non-emotional infidelity.
4. Psychopathy
Society has taught us to see love and romance as a sacred and eternal bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game in which the objective is to manipulate the other person and obtain power over the romantic partner through emotional blackmail, something very typical of individuals with a high degree of psychopathy. People who see love as a game they are much more likely to have multiple love interests; Cheating and lying is just another way to gain control of the spouse.
5. The economic level
A person’s attractiveness greatly influences the likelihood that he or she will cheat. Attraction comes manifested in different ways. It is influenced by physical appearance (it is the first thing the eyes see), social skills (charisma, gift of speech) and tangible resources such as money. The closer we are to what is most demanded, the more likely we are to be unfaithful.
Those people who have better education, higher incomes and successful careers They are more likely to develop an unfaithful profile than individuals with less purchasing power or access to education, in part because they are more exposed to the type of people who have more characteristics considered superficially attractive.
Is there any possible solution?
We have two points of view to address the conflict Firstly, the solution can be focused by focusing on the individual with the psychological profile of an unfaithful person who cannot have a stable relationship and wants it; It can also be focused based on the couple, if the pillar of the problem has more to do with external factors that influence one or the other to be unfaithful.
On the other hand, when the problem focuses more than anything on a reality of both, there must be a predisposition on the part of the couple to solve a situation of such seriousness, as long as both have the sincere desire to move forward with the relationship In some cases, reciprocal infidelities occur at times when both parties want to end the relationship.
In both cases, the participation of a suitable professional is necessary. You should always seek the help of an expert counselor in romantic relationships, since dealing with these types of problems on your own usually seems extremely difficult. The introduction of a third, external and more objective opinion will help lead to more constructive conversations.
Likewise, it must be taken into account that couples therapy will not always offer a solution , and even less instantaneous. The will of the affected person(s) is essential if a satisfactory solution is to be found.
