Selective Memory: Why Do We Only Remember What Matters To Us?

We call cases of selective memory to those situations in which someone seems to show an exceptional ability to remember information that reinforces their point of view but is significantly forgetful about other information related to the first but that is uncomfortable for them.

We talk about this selective memory with sarcasm, implying that it is a sign of argumentative weakness or of holding an illusory view on certain topics As if it were something exceptional, outside the normative way of thinking.

However, the truth is that selective memory is by no means a simple resource that some people use to cling to beliefs and ideologies that can be put in danger with some ease. Human memory, in general, tends to function in the same way in all people, and not only in relation to specific and controversial topics, but also in relation to private beliefs and autobiographical memories.

In short, healthy people with good abilities to debate without constantly clinging to dogmas are also subjects who think and remember through the filter of selective memory.

Selective memory and identity

Memory is the basis of our identity Ultimately, we are a mixture of our genetics and the experiences we have lived, and the latter can only leave an imprint on us through memory.

However, this means that our identity is a compressed version of all the events in which we have participated directly or indirectly, as if each and every day we have lived were archived somewhere in the human brain in equivalent quantities and well proportioned to each other. To believe this would be to assume that our memory is reproductive, a kind of exact recording of what we have perceived and thought. And it is not: We only remember what is somehow meaningful to us

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This is selective memory. In making the content of our own memories linked to those values, needs and motivations that define our way of perceiving things, making some memories pass the filter into long-term memory and others do not.

Creating meaningful memories

Since psychologist Gordon Bower’s research showed the link between our emotional states and the way we memorize and remember all types of information, the idea that our memory works in a biased way even in healthy brains has gained a lot of popularity in society. psychology.

Today, in fact, the idea that memory is selective by default is beginning to be well founded. For example, there are some studies that show that, deliberately, we are capable of using strategies to forget memories that do not suit us while the lines of research that deal with the topic of cognitive dissonance show that we have a certain propensity to basically memorize things that do not call into question important beliefs for us and that, therefore, can be related to a clear meaning.

The process would go like this: we find information that does not fit with our beliefs and that, therefore, makes us uncomfortable because it calls into question ideas that are important to us and in the defense of which we have spent time and efforts.

However, the fact that this information has had an impact on us does not necessarily make it better to memorize because it is relevant. In fact, its importance as something that causes us discomfort can be a reason, in itself, to manipulate and distort this memory until it becomes unrecognizable and ends up disappearing as such.

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Selective memory bias

That the normal functioning of memory is selective is very relevant, since It is further proof that our nervous system is made more to survive than to know the environment in which we live faithfully and relatively objectively.

Furthermore, researching selective memory allows us to look for strategies to take advantage of this phenomenon by exploring techniques to ensure that traumatic and unpleasant memories in general are not a limiting factor in people’s quality of life.

Be clear that there is no single and correct way to remember one’s own life path, but rather We have the possibility to choose between equally biased views of who we are and what we have done can serve to eliminate prejudices about trauma treatment therapies and encourage us to look for adaptive ways to make our memory a factor that contributes well-being to our way of life, instead of giving us problems.

A more realistic view

Selective memory is proof that neither our identity nor what we think we know about the world are objective truths to which we have access simply because we have spent a long time existing. In the same way that our attention focuses on some things in the present and leaves out others, something very similar happens with memory.

Since the world is always overflowing with an amount of information that we will never be able to process in its entirety, we must choose what to attend to, and this is something we do consciously or unconsciously. The exception is not what we are not aware of and that we do not know well, but rather that of which we do have relatively complete knowledge. By default, we are not aware of what happened, what is happening or what will happen.

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This is partly positive and partly negative, as we have already seen. It is positive because it allows us to leave out information that is not relevant, but it is negative because the existence of biases is introduced. Having this clear will allow us not to have unrealistic expectations about our ability to know ourselves and everything around us.