Shame, Trauma And Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
Shame is a deeply human emotion. We have all felt it at some point in our lives. It helps us realize those behaviors that distance us from the group or are not useful for socialization.
However, over the years, and through different research, it has been seen that shame is an emotion that is more present—and is especially intense—in victims of abuse, violence or neglect.
When we have experienced adverse or traumatic experiences such as abandonment, neglect, sexual abuse, physical or psychological violence, we tend to think and feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. In those cases, Shame takes a leading role in our lives and leaves us feeling deeply inadequate.
It is common for beliefs to appear such as “I am a bad person and that is why they abused me” or “because they abused me, I am inadequate or dirty”, or recurring thoughts of not being enough, not deserving love or not being valuable or valuable, among others. other similar ones.
Like all emotions, shame has a function. Its function is ensure that we can continue to be part of the group to which we belong and continue to receive the support, care, affection and nutrition that we need to survive.
Let us remember that, for our ancestors, being “expelled” or rejected from the group implied an enormous disadvantage for survival. Being left out of the group meant, in a very literal way, death.
That is why, when shame is activated, it is usually a very intense emotion, since it is closely linked to our survival instinct.
Shame is generally learned and experienced during our most vulnerable years of childhood , when we are dependent on our caregivers. Loving, empathetic caregivers who look at us and validate our emotions help us co-regulate intense emotions in a healthy and kind way.
However, negligent, abusive caregivers, who humiliate us or who do not look at us or validate us, do not allow this co-regulation, sometimes leaving us with difficulty or inability to regulate very intense emotions, including shame.
How is shame generated?
According to Paul Gilbert, clinical psychologist and university professor and creator of Compassion Focused Therapy, there are different types of shame.
The shame of intrusion It is that which is generated by feeling mistreated by others, whether emotional or physical abuse. Verbal abuse and humiliation “inject” negative meanings or labels about the experiences we have of ourselves.
On the other hand, the shame of exclusion It is that feeling that is generated by not being noticed, sought after or taken into account. This type of shame has more to do with negligence, with carelessness, with not feeling seen or validated. It is a more passive form, but no less important. It can be equally intense and dysfunctional.
According to Gilbert, “There is evidence that verbal abuse and having one’s own self defined by others in negative terms, can be as impactful and pathogenic as physical or sexual abuse”.
According to various investigations, Shame, and the self-criticism it entails, is a “trans-diagnostic” emotion ; This means that it is present in multiple clinical diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or eating disorders, among others.
How do you work on shame from CFT to bring it to healthy levels?
Compassion Focused Therapy, CFT (Compassion Focused Therapy), is a psychotherapeutic modality developed by Professor Paul Gilbert. This therapeutic model was originally developed to work with people who had complex mental health problems, linked to shame and self-criticism, and who They usually came from conflictive, neglectful or abusive environments. These negligent or abusive environments often leave those who experience them with feelings of shame and guilt that have profound effects on personal identity and that include an alteration in the most basic and fundamental beliefs about oneself, others, the future and of the world.
Compassion-focused therapy is a multi-modal approach that draws on evolutionary psychology, attachment theory, Mindfulness, Buddhist psychology, cognitive-behavioral therapy and archetype theory. And, as we mentioned before, it is aimed at people with high levels of shame and self-criticism, aspects that are at the base of much of human suffering. The intention of CFT therapy is generate compassionate motivation in patients and recover emotional balance.
From this perspective, it is important to clarify that compassion has nothing to do with pity or mercy, as is often misunderstood, but rather with openness and sensitivity to one’s own suffering and that of others, and with the intention to prevent or alleviate it.
Through various interventions, such as the therapeutic bond, a deep understanding of how both our human brain and our emotions work, Mindfulness practices and compassion training, this approach aims to achieve emotional balance and wiser, kinder and braver way to relate to all the challenges that life presents us every day. Of course, this also includes those challenges related to adverse or traumatic experiences from our own history.
Compassion Focused Therapy helps us reduce shame and self-criticism , and allows us to have a fuller and happier life. Currently there is scientific evidence that affirms the effectiveness of compassion-focused therapy to work with both depressive and anxiety disorders, as well as eating behavior, personality and addictions.
Likewise, evidence grows every day that, when CFT therapy is combined with EMDR therapy, the effectiveness in the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorders and complex trauma increases significantly.
