Sometimes we get blocked when we have to make important decisions. But it is necessary. As the phrase says: Do you drink something to be happy? Yes, decisions Worse than making a decision is not making it for fear of making a mistake, and chronicling a situation of uncertainty. When people are insistently indecisive it is usually due to fear of failure, for not assuming that the normal thing is to make mistakes from time to time, and that we must learn to put it into perspective.
Keep reading this PsicologíaOnline article if you are interested in knowing Some ideas to overcome indecision.
Some guidelines can help us decide, although nothing and no one is going to guarantee that it is the best choice, or the most correct. But it is our decision, based on some criteria. One way to start is ASSESS THE CONSEQUENCES.
Surely we do it almost always, but we do it “in our head”, thinking and rethinking; without a clear order; and what we think today, perhaps, we will not remember tomorrow, or we will simply discard it.
To avoid this, it is important to write down all the consequences: we can list the advantages and disadvantages of a certain decision; in the short and long term. It is interesting to spend several days writing them; There will be days when we value the negative consequences more and others we will surely prioritize the positive ones. Making a table with them we can see the comprehensiveness of options and which ones we give more importance to.
Our priorities in life also come into play here. If we are clear about them, it will be easier to make a choice. If we haven’t thought about it yet, we can reflect on what makes us happy and what we like; What are our values and what are the most important to us.
Another way to consider in decision making is ANALYZE PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES. Throughout our lives we have had to make decisions in similar situations, or not so similar, but on which we can reflect; and we can consider the aspects that may have escaped us at that moment and that, now, “in retrospect” are seen more clearly.
It is also interesting to analyze the other people’s experiences from our own perspective; but always considering that what is suitable for one person does not have to be suitable for another. Character, beliefs and personal values are present when deciding on one option or another. In fact, if my choice is consistent with my values it is usually easier.
Sometimes we don’t know exactly what we want, but we are clear about what we don’t want. That can also help us. Let’s try visualize how we want to see ourselves in the near future, what can help us be happier, to meet our expectations (realistic, please), what is really worthwhile, what is truly important and what is maintained over time…
And there is one last (and relevant) question to consider: ZERO RISK DOES NOT EXIST
Do you intend to be fully prepared to decide? Well, you know that that moment is not going to come.
If you wait until you are fully prepared, it is very difficult for you to undertake something different. And if you are also one of the people who focuses more on the complications than the benefits… we make it worse. Zero risk does not exist. So: weigh how much risk you are willing to take and forward!
And what can I do?
Well, for now, accept that, indeed, We never fully learn and that’s why we make mistakes (and those we have left!). Then, accept what the circumstances have been like in our past, what we gave more or less importance to, our values from then (those were us). And then, the most valuable thing we can do now is to look at today as an opportunity to improve knowing everything we know (thanks to that past).
In short, the possibility of making mistakes always exists; But we learn a lot from mistakes, and it is not usually as dramatic as we think. Choose what you consider the best option, always in line with your values.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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