Submissive People: What 10 Traits And Attitudes Characterize Them?
Kindness and empathy are characteristics that we value positively in others, but if these are taken to the extreme, we can fall into a chronically submissive attitude This is a problem not only because it generates discomfort in those who suffer from this tendency towards submission, but also because it predisposes others to adopt a role of dominance or, at least, leadership in decision-making.
And the useful or problematic nature of certain psychological characteristics also depends on what they mean when relating to others. Our well-being does not simply emanate from us to the outside, but also has to do with the effects that our attitudes have on others and how they affect us. So that, let’s look at the characteristics of submissive people to make it easier to identify these situations and face the problem.
Next we will see what characterizes submissive people and what this means in your daily life, in your habits and in your way of relating to other people.
1. Conflict avoidance
Submissive people tend to avoid confrontations, no matter how minor. This means that they usually make sacrifices to prevent these “clashes of wills”, dedicating time, effort and resources so that others are not upset.
Sometimes, these types of people even feel aversion to the idea that the other person feels impatience or anger. This indicates that this submissive attitude does not usually respond to a desire to instrumentalize the other person (seeking their protection or influence). but a bond of total dominance is generated, and even mental
2. A painful past
Although it does not occur in all cases, many times submissive people have a past full of abuse or bullying behind them. this past It makes you learn that others will attack at the slightest, for any excuse, with the slightest hint of frustration or anger. In turn, this encourages others to accept the dominant role that is granted to them.
3. Discreet personality profile
Submissive people tend to not want to attract a lot of attention. This is something that It is done to avoid conflicts and humiliating moments in which any aggression initiated by others cannot be responded to proportionally.
4. Tendency towards shyness
Submissive people do not have to be introverted, but they are usually shy. That is, they think almost obsessively about the image they give and what others think about them, often the result of knowing they are submissive and, therefore, not valued socially or with a high chance of making a bad first impression.
This means that they will hardly initiate informal conversations with strangers, for example, and sometimes they even find it difficult to initiate formal dialogues with people they do not know well. Once again, this is a consequence of this attempt to maintain a discreet profile.
submissive people They take on the role of someone who needs protection and that is why it is common for them to establish asymmetric relationships based on dependency.
In pathological cases, such as those in which Dependent Personality Disorder has been diagnosed, this can reach the extreme where nothing is done that does not have to do with being close to someone who fulfills the role of “protector” and to whom It is customary to serve in everything.
6. Lack of assertiveness
Submissive people talk relatively little about their own views, do not spend much time giving their opinions, and They prefer to focus on what others want or need Sometimes it is difficult to know what their motivations are, because they may avoid talking about them explicitly. In general, this denotes a clear lack of assertiveness.
7. They try to satisfy others
Another psychological characteristic of submissive people is that They do not mind revealing their situation as a “dominated party” in a relationship. Although they can sometimes adopt a passive aggressive role, they avoid disobeying orders to avoid causing fights and disputes.
8. Contracted nonverbal language
Submissive people, since they try not to attract attention, make their body as discreet as possible through their postures. It is common for them to keep their gaze down, for their arms and legs to move slightly outward with respect to the vertical axis of their body, or for them to hunch their back.
9. They say they feel bad relatively frequently
Since there is no way to contradict anyone, The only way they can give themselves a break is to push their body to the extreme That’s why they tend to get more tired, or get sick more frequently: they go through more moments of stress and effort than the majority of people around them, since they rarely make concessions for themselves.
Not only is there a tendency to make little contact with strangers; In addition, people tend to talk less, and when they do, the conversations are usually about unimportant topics. In this way, the attention is not forced to be completely displaced towards themselves, something that would happen if, for example, anecdotes from childhood are told or if the life projects they plan to move forward are explained.
How to overcome the tendency to remain submissive to others?
The most recommended and, in general, effective way to overcome this tendency to submit is to go to psychotherapy With the professional support of a psychologist you will have emotional management strategies that reinforce self-esteem, enhance assertiveness and help you get out of that vicious circle of constant submission to others. The process usually lasts a few months with good results, but for it to work you have to attend regular sessions without interrupting the therapy.
