Have you ever considered that life seems like a chain of painful situations? How often do you hear someone say that Life is difficult and unfair, that only the strongest survive?
Well, surely there are not few; and perhaps, you will be able to question some of them soon, which is why I share this reflection designed to be useful in these circumstances.
Tragic circumstances in life, such as lack of time, suffering, or death, They are often a reason for flight when it comes to facing them and accepting them looking for multiple ways (increasingly more disconcerting and radical) to avoid them.
However, sometimes it will not be possible to escape them, since they are an inherent part of our humanity and we must respond to them and position ourselves.
Viktor Frankl said that each era has its psychopathology and its appropriate psychotherapy, and today, it seems that psychopathologies reflect increasingly intense attempts to avoid being aware of our vulnerability.
The uncertainty of decision-making, the precipice of the radical emptiness of our freedom and finitude… this dizzying discomfort is known as lack of meaning or existential emptiness.
And throughout our history as humanity, the most overwhelming and distressing existential questions are permeated by some of these tragedies or extreme situations, which are not an invention of eminent philosophers, doctors or psychologists, but rather They are evidence of our existential condition
In this section I will point out some of them, but I clarify that they are not the only ones; My purpose is to begin a reflection on a topic that, because it is disconcerting, can only be looked at in periods of time, but its reflection can change the configuration of our Life as a whole. We then focus on: Suffering, Guilt, Isolation and of course Death.
1. Suffering
Let’s start with the suffering. It is considered a specific capacity of the human being, since only the human being can consciously realize what motivates feeling pain (pain is understood not only as a physical sensation).
Suffering permeates our consciousness from the various dimensions that constitute it ; for example, from our physical dimension, with organic suffering or an inevitable illness, and from our psychic dimension, with the sensation and expression of intense emotions such as fear or sadness, but also from our spiritual dimension, where our consciousness is confronted. faced with dilemmas and tragic situations in life (for example, becoming aware of the inevitable death of our loved ones).
Although, in addition to the expression from our anthropological constitution, there is also another important dimension of our human suffering; By this I mean the historical and social context: poverty, inequality, segregation, violence, among many more.
Suffering implies the acceptance of reality in the face of any of its expressions and limitations Curiously, it allows us to continue in a world that, despite the devastating nature of the experiences, enables a free attitude to face circumstances, here we appeal to the maximum freedom that characterizes us as human beings.
It seems that suffering can be a kind of reminder, not only of our vulnerability and finitude, but also of the aptitudes and capacities that make us up, because in extreme situations of our existence we have the unavoidable but necessary invitation to dare to suffer for what we It was valuable and significant; In short, “that which is worth suffering for.”
As you can see, the expression “sufferable” has two connotations: eValuable suffering and unnecessary or neurotic suffering Neurotic suffering is that which lacks values and meaning of a “why” to feel it, it is repetitive, compulsive and without a clear purpose.
On the other hand, valuable suffering is based on values. But I’m not talking about moral or social values, but about personal values, what is valuable to you (convictions that give meaning to your life, and clarify what is worth your pain and suffering). I know that the above sounds simple and even poetic, however, it is anything but pleasant to experience, but it is essential not to forget how necessary it is, not only because of what motivates such suffering, but mainly because it has a purpose, a meaning, and It is the task of each of us to be able to answer that question that seems to arise when faced with every challenge, “why suffer.”
Let’s not forget that We are not only beings of knowledge, but we are also suffering beings and the conscious integration of these experiences is what allows us to know ourselves as human beings.
When suffering has a meaning, it requires our humanization, and only its expression honors those experiences, people, feelings and circumstances that were worth living; When something about them causes pain, allowing yourself to feel it is honoring them with full awareness that your experience was important, and when these valuable experiences and bonds cease to be or exist, it is worth meaning and valuing them despite the sometimes unbearable pain that they cause. may cause.
2. Guilt
On the other hand, guilt is also a characteristic of our humanity; It shows us as fallible, imperfect and incomplete beings.
As I explained at the beginning, human beings have the possibility of building and designing our destiny based on our freedom and responsibility, through our so-called decisions. The fault is the result of acting in an incongruent manner based on our freedom is a free decision and therefore inexcusable and unchangeable.
Guilt is another face of suffering, but it is caused by our own choices. It reminds us of our finitude but also how fallible our actions can be. Furthermore, it has the consequence of paying greater attention to our past, disconnecting ourselves from the here and now and of course from our project for the sake of the immediate future, exercising destructive, unnecessary and cyclical actions on the being that suffers from this extreme situation that only increase the sensation. of guilt.
3. Isolation
curiously guilt is self-destructive when it is not channeled and by avoiding facing it, it intensifies, leading the person to existential isolation, separating themselves from the world, since the vicious circle of guilt has as its root a truth that is sometimes not shared or expressed.
However, guilt also enables our consciousness, as it allows us to observe the capacity that human beings have to respond to life, allowing greater responsibility for our freedom in the world; This awareness can be obtained from repentance and amending the damage caused.
4. Death
Now, we need to mention a third and perhaps the most tragic situation to which we are condemned, death. Related to it is the biggest question that life has thrown at human beings, and until now it is a personal task to provide an answer (or not) to this question of our existence.
Is death the permanent conclusion of our physical and psychic dimension as well as the spiritual expression of the human being? Seeing it that way would be saying that we are beings designed to die; However, it seems to me that rather, We are beings “despite death”, since it is from the very possibility of knowing ourselves to be mortal, that we take an attitude towards it is the maximum expression of our conception of the world.
He is human and it is part of his ability to respond, being able to choose how to live, but also the way in which the human being will mean his death and that of others, because from this perspective, each person will be responsible for discovering his own death. .
The above leads me to reflect on the importance of not forgetting to give our own meaning to our finitude in order to reveal our meaning in life. They are questions that go hand in hand with the answer we give them, because a life that lacks a direction towards “where” we want to go and a “why” we must get there, only lacks meaning and its sandy support is only empty.
Death has an essential value for each and every one of us, because, if this relationship did not exist, If we were not finite beings, it would not be necessary to demand that we answer the questions that life itself throws at us , because we would have infinite time to attend to them. However, the fact that this is not the case is what allows life itself to provide it with meaningful answers.
The challenge of uncertainty
If all of the above does not seem tragic enough to you, I must clarify and remember that all the elements we have seen are impregnated with a much more attached tragedy: uncertainty.
Although we know that all of us, at least once in our lives, will face each of the tragic situations of our existence (at least those mentioned here), it is impossible to know when, where, how, why and why. The only thing we can be clear about is that its arrival is getting closer and closer.
If life is this overwhelming and tragic, Is there any solution or alternative that allows us to face this reality in a better way? I know that I have shared dark and hard aspects (more so when they are all in the same analysis) about what motivates a person to face their circumstances; I think it is important that we not forget that life is also sometimes dark and painful, but despite this it is worth living.
And such analysis on my part arises considering that, from my professional experience, many consultants do not come in search of professional psychological or psychiatric help motivated only by a problem to which they cannot find a solution, but also, many have come motivated by intense anguish. product of becoming aware of their finitude, their pain, their vulnerability and mainly of the complexity that the unanswered questions mean and to which they must respond.
This situation is complicated when the consultant confuses the tension and dilemma of their existence as synonymous with illness or discomfort because sometimes, the symptomatology with which this experience is usually accompanied is confused with the clinical criteria of the so-called psychopathologies.
For this reason, it is essential to carry out an adequate and personalized analysis that allows us to identify what motivates these modes of expression, clarify both the psychological manifestations (such as exacerbated emotions, abrupt changes in habits, anxiety, rigidity of thought, etc.) as well as the psychosomatic symptoms. that manifest throughout the body (for example, changes in sleeping habits, tremors, joint pain, gastrointestinal discomfort, or fatigue, among others); They are part of the indicators that are often confused with some type of disorders.
If the symptoms are the reason for such questions and extreme situations that lead us to question our existence, They are not necessarily part of a psychopathology On the contrary, they can be the immediate and authentic expression of our consciousness. However, it is important to attend to and work on these manifestations due to how disabling they can be, and also allow reality to be confronted in a deep, careful and safe way that enables an existential attitude that fosters the ability to respond, allowing improvement in quality. of the person’s life.
As a clinical psychologist and philosopher, I consider and verify that it is a privilege of our profession to try to look beyond what is visible to the eyes, to be able to try to allow ourselves with openness and humility to approach the most human experience of each and every one of our clients. , and to achieve it. Their experiences fill us with vital meaning in the face of our own decisions; Despite the tragedy, they give humanity to our existence. The privilege is having the permission and trust of that person who suffers, allowing us to accompany and discover together the experience that such circumstances confer on their existence.
Are you willing to allow yourself to live the experience of analyzing your existence despite its tragic constants?
