The 3 Differences Between Selective Mutism And Shyness

There are children who are more sociable and others who are more shy. As happens in adulthood, boys and girls have very varied personality traits, and this is noticeable when seeing how they behave at school.

Shyness is not a problem, but selective mutism is, a disorder that sometimes goes unnoticed and is thought to be simply that the boy or girl is a little introverted, that he or she is going through a phase and will grow out of it. But the disorder rarely disappears spontaneously.

We can find several differences between selective mutism and shyness which we will explore further below along with a review of what this anxiety disorder is.

Keys to distinguish between selective mutism and shyness

As happens in adulthood, in childhood we can find individual differences in personality There are boys and girls who are more open, extroverted, who like to talk with other children and also with adults.

But we also find boys and girls who are just the opposite, who barely say a word about how shy and reserved they are and prefer to play alone or in the company of children with whom they trust. As long as it is within the norm, introverted children are not something to worry about.

However, there are situations in which something should be done. Some children have serious difficulties communicating or relating to others that are a real problem because they cannot lead a normal life nor fully develop. If these difficulties are very great, that is when we should consider the possibility that there is a problem, a possible childhood disorder.

There are many children who seem withdrawn when faced with an unknown situation, in an unfamiliar environment or with a new adult. Some of them may even try to hide behind their parents and remain silent, despite knowing how to speak.

This behavior may simply mean that the child is a little shy, but it may also be a symptom of selective mutism, a childhood condition that must be properly addressed.

What do we mean by normal shyness?

Before going into detail regarding the differences between selective mutism and shyness, it is necessary to define both concepts, making it clear that shyness is not a psychopathology

This is a personality trait, typical of introverted people, which is manifested by a tendency to appear withdrawn in social situations with people with whom one does not have much trust. Shy people often try to avoid interaction with strangers and are not the ones to take the initiative in conversations, especially with someone new.

However, this changes a little when they are in a familiar environment, with people they already know and feel comfortable talking to. Shyness is most evident and noticeable during the first interactions, and tends to reduce as the person gains confidence in a specific situation. Introversion is part of his personality, but security in the face of something he already knows allows him to be more open.

Introverted traits can be identified early, in babies. Some newborns are more open to exploring their surroundings, while others are more self-conscious toward the unknown. Early experiences modulate this temperamental disposition, making introverted traits increase or, on the contrary, softening them.

Although it is true that extraversion is culturally preferred over introversion, one should not think that shyness and other introverted traits are pathological. Shyness is not a mental problem, although it is true that depending on the social context and the area of ​​the person’s life, being shy can cause certain difficulties preventing it from fully developing its potential.

What is selective mutism?

Selective mutism is a psychological disorder, specifically belonging to anxiety disorders It is typical of childhood and adolescence, although some extremely rare cases also occur in adulthood.

Already in childhood, it is considered a low-prevalence condition, with estimates that between 0.9% and 2.2% of minors suffer from it. But, despite being very rare, its consequences on the life of the affected person occur in the form of serious limitations in their daily life.

The diagnostic criteria for selective mutism in the DSM-5 are as follows:

The main problem that selective mutism brings with it is the inability to speak in social situations where you are expected to interact in one way or another The child remains silent, not very expressive and with his eyes lowered in the presence of certain individuals or when he is immersed in an unknown social situation. On the contrary, in the rest of the situations where he feels safe, he can function completely normally. In this way it can happen that a child does not speak at all at school but does speak at home.

Normally, the situations that activate selective mutism are those that are perceived as threatening. That is, the child remains mute in situations where he fears being judged, evaluated and criticized, feeling a very high degree of anxiety while going through the unfavorable social situation that causes him not to articulate any words.

There are several factors that have been attributed to causing selective mutism. Let’s see what they are.

1. Personal

We find a history of anxiety, shyness and/or social phobia in the family The child’s temperament also influences. As well as the level of social inhibition, shyness and dependence on it. Additionally, the influence of traumatic situations in the first years of age has been found.

2. Parenting style

The family is the reference model when it comes to communication and interaction with others It has been seen that there is a greater prevalence of selective mutism in families whose parents exhibit overprotective and controlling behaviors.

3. Genetics

A child is more likely to have selective mutism If there is a history of anxiety disorders in your family

4. Contextual

The child appears excessively self-conscious in situations where he does not feel comfortable at all or suffers a lot of stress, either because the situation is very new or because he does not have a positive relationship with other people.

5. Language

It has been seen that some cases of selective mutism are a product of bilingualism That is to say, the child may find the new language difficult, which causes him a lot of anxiety and, far from practicing it, he prefers to remain silent.

What are the differences between shyness and selective mutism?

Based on how we have described them, we can see that shyness and selective mutism share the individual’s insecurity when finding themselves in a situation that they do not know, and that awakens a certain degree of discomfort and fear. However, we can identify important differences between them.

1. Degree of speech inhibition

A shy person usually remains silent in social situations that are unfamiliar to them, but is still able to speak if necessary

On the other hand, those who have selective mutism find that if they speak they are totally inhibited, they cannot express themselves at all.

2. Stability over time

Shyness is typical of the first interactions with unknown people and environments, but it tends to reduce as the person gains confidence.

Instead, Selective mutism is the product of high discomfort and anxiety in certain situations problems which do not soften with the passage of time and the inability to speak in those certain situations does not fade.

• Related article: “What is Personality according to Psychology?”

3. Anxiety level

The level of anxiety experienced by people with selective mutism is much higher than in the case of shyness, in addition to not implying the same type of consequences or degree of severity. Children, adolescents, and adults with selective mutism may have poor school, work, social, and personal performance significantly affecting their quality of life and self-esteem.

The importance of early detection and treatment

Shyness, while it is a character trait, tends to remain stable throughout the subject’s life, but not in the face of the same situations. That is, shy people tend to be shy forever, but this shyness is expressed with greater intensity during the first interactions or within a new social situation.

As these people become familiar with such contexts, they will become more open and sociable As we grow up we become a little more extroverted, although we are still shy people.

But this is not what happens with selective mutism. If not detected early and treated, the disorder will pose a significant limitation in the patient’s life. As we said, it is an anxiety disorder that brings with it the total inability to speak in certain situations, which makes personal development and growth impossible. Thus, Selective mutism requires a deep, specialized and complete therapeutic approach

Although it is true that there are cases, it is unlikely that a child will overcome selective mutism spontaneously and, if they do, it would occur after years and years of great emotional suffering. For this reason, whether we are parents, siblings or teachers of a child who may have selective mutism, we should not underestimate the impact of the disorder or downplay its importance.

It is best to consult with a professional who will diagnose the disorder if there is one and establish a specific individualized treatment to prevent the disorder from becoming chronic.